His Reverie (Reverie #1)(51)



Or so I told myself.

Daylight makes everything different. You can lose yourself in the darkness. It’s so easy. Forget all your troubles and become someone else. Darkness and secrets go hand in hand. When the darkness fades and the secret comes to light, there’s no turning back.

So in the morning I actually faced what I’d done and had some…regret? No, that’s not the right word. I had an attack of guilt. My parents finally trust me again and look at what I’m doing? Sneaking around with a boy they probably wouldn’t approve of at face value, though if they just got to know him they’d see how truly wonderful he is…

I want to trust Nick but he acted so weird. And then when I heard him on the phone yelling at that stupid tramp Krista…I didn’t know what to think. Is he still seeing her? Why does he feel so connected to her? I don’t understand the link that they share.

I’m so confused. Love shouldn’t be like this right? It’s supposed to be pure and beautiful and all encompassing. Not ugly and hurtful. I feel like Nick is still keeping secrets from me but I don’t know what they are. Something more than his having sex with Krista a month ago. I’m sure of it.

Even writing those words hurts my heart so bad. I hate that he’s had sex with other girls. I hate that this Krista girl is still in his life. I want her gone. I wish she didn’t even exist. Our lives would be so much easier without her around.

The entire drive back to my place Nick was quiet. So was I. He dropped me off and didn’t give me a kiss. Didn’t want to make plans for later. Nothing. I entered my number in his cell phone when we first got into his truck but other than that, nothing really happened.

Let’s see if Nick texts or calls me. I can’t call him so I’m completely dependent on him making the next move. I don’t like that.

At all.

When I walked into the house, Evan was sitting at the kitchen counter, the look of amusement on his face hard to miss. He asked in that dry, sarcastic tone of his that I sometimes hate if I was playing around with the help.

I sent him a dirty look but didn’t answer. Just went up to my room and closed the door. Then I had a good, long cry in the shower.

Mama and Daddy will be home tomorrow. I wonder if Evan will tell on me. I wonder if my guilt will become too overwhelming and I’ll end up telling on myself. I don’t know. I’m so conflicted.

Maybe I need to pray. Maybe I need to talk to Evan, though he’ll probably just laugh at me and give me bad advice. Our relationship hasn’t been very strong lately and I’m scared to tell him what I did.

I don’t know what to do.

I guess I have to wait and see what happens.

29

Evil: morally wrong or bad

July 30th

She’s late. I’m pacing back and forth in my living room, waiting for her to arrive, getting madder as every minute passes by. I don’t want to do this. I’d rather pretend it never happened but I can’t ignore it.

If I want to get back in Reverie’s good graces, I need to face my troubles head on. This is the first step.

When the knock finally sounds on my door, I rush to answer it, throwing open the door so quick, Krista’s hand is still raised, her hand in a fist.

“Wow. That was fast.” She smirks. “Are you that happy to see me?”

I roll my eyes, not in the mood for her games and sexual innuendos. “Come in,” I say gruffly, opening the door wider.

She strides inside, her hips swishing, the denim mini skirt she’s wearing hanging so low I swear it’s gonna fall off. The bracelets stacked on her left wrist jangle loudly in the otherwise quiet of my apartment and she turns to face me as I shut the door, the smile on her face huge.

I know she thinks she’s won. She probably believes I’m her prize and she’s come to claim it. I don’t want to be mean and I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I can’t let this go on any longer. She can’t be my friend, my hookup on the side, my ex-girlfriend, none of it. I need her out of my life before she ruins it completely. What’s scary is she has that power and I think she knows it.

“Looking good as usual Nicky.” She snaps her gum. “I like what you’ve done with your hair. The messy look works for you.”

I don’t bother saying anything, not even a thank you, which is what she wants. “We need to talk.”

Her smile fades and she slowly shakes her head, the oversized double hoop earrings she’s wearing clanking. “Talking’s overrated. Let’s get naked.”

Jesus, she’s persistent. “That’s never going to happen.”

“It’s happened before.” She rushes me, her hands going to my hips, fingers hooking into the belt loops of my jeans. “And it can definitely happen again. You know you miss me. After seeing that little virgin you had over, I’m not surprised you were bored. Or is she here and you called me over to play? You know I’m game for anything, Nicky. Anything.”

I’m disgusted. What happened to this girl I’ve known since we were little kids? She’s become this predatory creature who uses sex to get whatever she wants. She’s nothing like the Krista I remember from fifth grade, who was sweet and fun and always up for a little trouble.

Nothing.

Her fingers brush against the skin of my stomach and I shove her away from me hard, disgusted by her touch. She takes a staggering step backward, her expression full of shock. “Asshole! What the hell are you doing?” she screams.

Monica Murphy's Books