His Reverie (Reverie #1)(30)

Someone to fall in love with.

That’s what I want more than anything. I want to experience…everything. I want to do it all with Nick. I want him to be mine.

All mine.

17

Dear Diary,

(July 10th, 9:17 p.m.) It’s been two days since I last saw Nick and I feel like I’m slowly, quietly freaking out, especially because I have no one to talk to about this. At first I worried. What happened to him? Where did he go? Is he okay? Did I somehow drive him away?

That was the one thing that scared me most of all.

When I was finally brave enough to ask Heather if she’d seen Nick lately, she gave me a dirty look and said it was his day off in a really snotty tone. I was relieved to know why he was gone, but then again I got mad.

Why didn’t he try and reach out to me? It’s so stupid that I don’t have my cell phone. I got it taken away from me at the very beginning of summer because my grades weren’t up to Mom’s standards. I had all B’s. Pretty decent, right? But no, not good enough for Mommy Dearest. She took my iPhone away from me and I’ve been without it for weeks. I miss my phone. If I had it, I could give him my number and Nick could text me any time. I could make plans to sneak out and meet him somewhere. Maybe out in the woods where he first found me? Maybe he could take me to the beach, to the Snack Shack again.

But that would mean I’d probably need a new swimsuit because the one I own is so boring. One piece and black and just blah. I hate it. I look terrible in it. Not that I’m confident enough to wear a two piece in front of him. At least, I don’t think I am…

As usual, I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s a bad habit of mine, I swear.

So that’s how I spent most of yesterday, pining away for Nick. Evan invited me to the movies with a group of his friends but I declined. I wondered if Mom put him up to asking me.

Then Mom slipped into my room and had a long talk with me and I knew she put Evan up to asking me to go with him because come on. I’m the biggest pain in his butt ever—that’s what he always tells me at least. But anyway, Mom told me that I’m closing myself off from others and not wanting to spend time with kids my age. She said I needed to spend more time out of the house, not moping over missing my friends from school and constantly reading.

If she only knew what I was reading…she’d probably flip out. Romances with descriptive sex scenes that set my imagination wild, especially after that kiss with Nick…

Then Mom hit me with how I shouldn’t inquire about the hired help. I got so mad. Heather ratted me out. I couldn’t believe it. When Mom asked why I wanted to know where Nick was, I made up some dumb excuse. Told her I lost my necklace and I knew he was around that night so I wanted to ask him if he’d seen it. A total lie but I didn’t know what else to say.

Well, it was the absolute wrong thing to say. Mom got all crazy thinking he might’ve stolen it. I had to reassure her again and again there was no way that could be possible and I even went over to my jewelry box and dug out the so-called missing necklace. Let it dangle from my fingers and acted like I was brainless. Oopsie, here it is after all!

That calmed her down some. She seemed so rattled and then she took a couple of deep breaths, smiled at me and she was back to her old self. Like she flipped a switch between her moods. I’ve seen her do this before but it usually took longer…

Then she gave me another speech on how I have to be careful around some of the people Daddy hired this summer. Some of them are…unsavory, including Nick. What did she mean by that? I want to ask him but how? He’s so sweet to me. I’m not scared of him. He’s one of the few people I spend time with and actually feel comfortable around. Mom made him sound like some sort of criminal but I find that hard to believe.

And really, what can I say to him? Hey Nick, my mom said you’re ‘unsavory’ – ha ha, funny word right? Well, anyway, I’d like to know. Ever been to jail? Are you a criminal?

That wouldn’t go over very well.

I have to be careful around Heather though. I can’t tell her anything, but you know what? I think I’m going to have a little chat with her. Tell her I’ll let Mom know she’s getting a little too close to Michael during work hours. I caught them hanging all over each other on the backside of the stables the day before Nick kissed me in there. Mom would flip if she knew that.

I’m also going to ask for my phone back. It’s almost my birthday. A sort of early birthday present then? I don’t even want any presents. Just my phone. I need to find a way to communicate with Nick so no one else will know.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I’m going to be seventeen and I never get to do anything. All I want is my phone. Oh, and a secret little summer romance with Nick.. Lots of girls my age do way worse.

But my parents don’t let me do anything.

I have one more year of high school and then I’m gone. I can’t live under their rules anymore. Mom and Daddy are too strict. I love them. They mean everything to me, even when Mom treats me so terribly and Daddy ignores me because he’d rather take care of his ‘followers’ than his family. But I’m almost an adult. I need to experience my own life, do what I want, not what my parents expect of me.

Being away from Nick, even for two days, makes me worry. What if he’s changed his mind? What if he doesn’t care about me any more? The kiss could’ve been just that….a kiss and nothing else. A way for him to experiment and see if he was interested in me or not. So what if he’s not? What if he hates me? What if he thinks I’m a terrible kisser, that I have bad breath, that I’m some weird little obsessive girl who has zero experience when he’s looking for a girl with lots of experience? Someone sexy and confident.