His Reverie (Reverie #1)(29)

“How do you know she’s vowed chastity or whatever to her daddy?” I ask with an eye roll added in for good measure. I hope he believes I’m blowing this entire thing off. Can’t have him know how curious I really am. “This all sounds like a total crock.”

“I know it’s freaking true because they held a celebration dinner here last summer.” Michael kicks at a rock and sends it flying. “Weird right? They invited a few close friends and some other girl who also made the same vow to her father. They were one big happy family of virgins swearing their virtue to their daddies.”

Hell. Here I went kissing a girl in the stables—f*cking shirtless—and she’s made a vow of purity to her father to remain a virgin until…what? She marries? Or is she stuck with her dad as a virgin forever?

Okay that last thought is just flat out creepy.

“So I’m warning you. There’s nothing there when it comes to Reverie. Nothing. Even if she flirts with you, you don’t stand a chance,” Michael says. “She’s a good girl. She does what her parents say. She has an entire congregation on national television watching her every move.”

“She’s hardly on the show anymore,” I say in annoyance, my thoughts in turmoil. I can hardly comprehend what Michael just told me. It’s all so damn weird.

“That you even know this proves to me you already know too much.” He points his finger at me. “Leave her alone, Fairfield. Find some other chick to sniff after. Some girl who’ll give it up to you easily and doesn’t have all that baggage. Rev’s sweet and she’s a freaking hottie, but she won’t put out. And even if she did—which she so won’t—you will never come first. Her family does. And after her family comes God. She’s the real deal man.”

His words linger in my head long after we say goodbye and leave Hale House in separate cars. They haunt me for my next two days off. After I fight off Krista multiple times when she tries to freakin’ accost me. When I find myself in my room, in my bed late at night staring at the ceiling, thinking of Reverie. Remembering how soft her lips were, how she whispered my name, her hand on my skin, fingers curled around the back of my neck. Her tongue…

Jesus. Her tongue.

I need to stay away from her. What I want, I’m not going to get. I should tell Krista to come over and take out all of my sexual frustration on her. She’d be a more than willing participant.

Instead it’s just me and my hand, with thoughts of Reverie floating through my mind. These two days off give me much needed distance.

And almost make me want her that much more.

In other words, I’m completely screwed.

16

Dear Diary,

(July 8th, 7:45 p.m.) He kissed me.

Again.

I can hardly find the words to describe how wonderful it was. How incredibly romantic and sweet and sexy…

His lips are so soft. The way he touched me, the things he said, the hitch in his breath right before our lips touched, his fingers in my hair. Tangling, tugging a little bit. As if he somehow wanted to pull me close. Closer. Like he couldn’t get enough of me.

I felt the same way.

I’m changed. Completely changed. I thought my crush on him was overwhelming and all I did was watch him. Yearn for him. Wish he would really look at me, talk to me, get to know me.

But now, it’s all different. Now I know what it’s like to be held in his strong arms, to feel his mouth on mine, his taste…

No one ever told me it could be like this. Of course, none of my friends have boyfriends, just innocent crushes. I felt the same way about Nick. That’s all it was. A silly crush, a slight obsession, I’ve done this countless times. Lots of hopes and wishes and dreams wasted on pretty boys who never noticed me. Who never noticed any of us because first, we go to an all-girls’ school and they didn’t even know us. And second, I’m part of a…bookish crowd.

Wow. Just looking at what I wrote I feel like an old lady. ‘Bookish crowd.’

Fine. Some might call us nerds. We call ourselves highly educated and properly informed. Old lady words.

Well, my tiny circle of friends would die if they saw Nick and knew that I kissed him. DIE. I want to die right now just thinking about him. His smile. His eyes. His body (OMG his body). His hair…

It was a mess earlier. Overgrown and curling at the back of his neck, sun-kissed from all the time he spends working outside. It’s like it doesn’t know whether to be straight or curly so it sort of goes everywhere. I love it. I wish I’d touched it. Just gripped his head and plunged my fingers into his hair, holding him close as he kissed me again and again.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Michael almost caught us out in the stables, and Nick moved away from me so fast it was almost impressive. I could hardly stand, my knees were shaking so bad and everything inside of me quaked and burned. I watched him walk out of the stables barely looking at me, Michael following after him and the second they were gone I fell to the ground like I was boneless. A crumpled heap on the floor and my skin buzzing as if I’d been electrocuted. I couldn’t stop touching my lips.

I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven. All because of a kiss. A touch.

All because of Nicholas Fairfield.

If I play my cards right, I’ll have a boyfriend for the summer. A real, bona fide boyfriend. Someone to create memories with, to do things with.