Highland Warrior (Campbell Trilogy #1)(99)

“It’s nothing,” she dismissed. “No more than a scratch.”

His jaw hardened. “I never should have let you go, it was too dangerous.”

“I needed to be there. I needed to explain.”

“Your brothers will understand.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I’m confident that it will all work out for the best.”

She lifted her chin. “I don’t share your confidence. It’s my brothers’ lives at stake.” Her voice thickened with emotion. “I just got them back. Please don’t take them from me again.”

“I’m not taking them from you,” he said with exaggerated patience, each word uttered with careful precision. It was clear he was near the edge, holding himself by a very thin thread. “I’m trying to protect them.”

“How?” she asked, incredulous. “By arresting them?”

“While they are in my custody, Colin can’t do anything to them. If I can clear their names, they’ll be out of his reach for good. Would you rather I waited until my cousin was forced to send his men after them? Your brother and his men are outlaws—they can’t stay here indefinitely. Eventually they will need to face what they’ve done.”

Caitrina felt as though she were beating her head against a rock. The law. Duty. It was always the same. “Is that all that matters to you? The law?” She held his gaze, knowing where his rigid adherence to law and order came from. “You are not your brother, Jamie. Don’t hurt mine to bury the memory of yours.”

He flinched at the reference to Duncan. His eyes flared and she wondered if she’d gone too far. “You know nothing of what happened with Duncan. This has nothing to do with my brother, only with yours. I thought you wanted Ascog restored to Niall.”

“I do.”

“The only way that can happen is with my cousin’s help.”

She didn’t want to hear justification—even if there might be an element of truth. “It’s too soon,” she said stubbornly. His gaze bit into her. “I’m asking you to trust me.”

If only it were so simple. “I do. It’s your cousin I don’t trust. After what he did to you, I can’t believe you would trust him either. Dear God, what if you are wrong?”

“I’m not.”

She heard the unwavering confidence in his voice, but it wasn’t enough. “Well, it’s not a chance I’m willing to take.”

He stared at her with those slate blue eyes, hard and unyielding. “I’m afraid that it’s not your decision to make.”

Jamie knew his words were harsh, but she needed to understand. Caitrina was blind when it came to Argyll—understandable, perhaps, but if she was going to be married to him, she needed to accept his loyalty to his cousin. How could she claim to love and trust him and believe the man he gave his loyalty to a monster? He’d thought she’d started to believe in him.

Her accusation where his brother Duncan was concerned was misplaced, but it pricked nonetheless.

He had to get the hell out of here. No one could penetrate his defenses the way she could. Caitrina had an uncanny ability to make him feel raw, exposed. To make him lose control. She riled his anger with her accusations and persistent lack of faith. What more could he do to prove himself? He’d told her he loved her, yet it had barely seemed to penetrate.

He was confident that he was doing the right thing, though it didn’t make him deaf to her heartfelt pleas. He just didn’t know how else to explain.

“Please,” she said, her eyes soft and beseeching. “If you care for me at all, don’t do this.”

Jamie looked at her, feeling his insides twist. The urge to please her was nearly overwhelming. He ached to take her into his arms and love her until she smiled at him again, until her eyes softened with tenderness.

She leaned closer to him. The innocent brush of her br**sts stirred his already burning hunger—his blood fired from their argument and from the fear of almost losing her in the cave. His need for her rushed over him like a firestorm, blasting him with liquid heat. He fought the urge to bring an end to their argument in the most basic way, because he knew it would not be resolved. But damn, he was tempted.

What was she trying to do to him? Was this what being in love was supposed to feel like? Was it supposed to make him feel out of control? Was it supposed to rip him apart, pulling him in two opposite directions? Was it supposed to make him want to tear his hair out in frustration? If it was, he didn’t need it.

“Care for you? Haven’t you been listening to anything I said? I love you. Do you think I want to hurt you?”

Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I don’t think you care who you hurt. Maybe they are right what they say about you, that you are a ruthless henchman without a heart.”

Her barb had struck flesh. He snapped. His carefully tethered anger whipped around like a banner in a storm. He pulled her to him, not quite sure what he meant to do. “After all these months . . . is that what you really think?”

She seemed to realize that she’d gone too far. “I don’t want to, but what else should I think when you won’t listen to reason?”

“I am listening, but my duties and responsibilities cannot be ignored.”

“What about your duty and responsibility to me? Do I not matter?”