Heroes Are My Weakness(99)

“It scared me.” A heartbreaking sniffle.

“Sure it did. It would have scared me, too. Scamp told me I should have explained to you that just because grown-ups argue doesn’t always mean something bad will happen. Like when Theo and I argue. We like to argue. But we’d never hurt each other.”

Livia cocked her head at Annie, taking that in.

Annie could have lifted her down and waded out with her, but she hesitated. What else could she say to undo the damage? She traced her thumb along Livia’s cheek. “Sometimes people argue. Kids and grown-ups. For instance, your mommy and I had an argument today. It was my fault, and I’m going to tell her I’m sorry.”

“You and Mommy?” Livia said.

“I was confused about something. But here’s the thing, Livia. If you get scared every time you hear somebody argue, you’ll be scared a lot, and none of us want you to feel like that.”

“But Theo’s voice was really loud.”

“Mine, too. I was very mad at him.”

“You could shoot him with a gun,” Livia said, trying to sort out a situation that was too complicated for her.

“Oh, no, I would never do that.” Annie tried to find another way. Hesitated. “Can I have a free secret?”

“Uh-huh.”

Annie rested her cheek against the top of Livia’s head. “I love Theo,” she whispered. “And I could never love anybody who tried to hurt me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t get mad at him.”

“You love Theo?”

“It’s my free secret, remember?”

“I remember.” The sweet sound of her breathing hummed in Annie’s ears. She wiggled. “Can I have a free secret?”

“Sure.” Annie braced herself, afraid of what was coming next.

Livia turned her head to gaze up at Annie. “I didn’t like Scamp’s song.”

Annie laughed and kissed her forehead. “We won’t tell her.”


THE JOYOUS REUNION BETWEEN MOTHER and child would have brought Annie to tears if she hadn’t been so cold. Theo drew her into a weak patch of sunlight and examined her wounds. She stood before him dressed only in her orange camisole and white panties, her wet wool socks collapsed in origami folds around her ankles. After she’d pushed Livia through the crevice into Theo’s arms, she’d discovered that her sodden jeans had picked up just enough extra bulk to keep her from squeezing through, and she’d had to take them off.

Theo checked the long scratch running down her abdomen, joining her other cuts and bruises. His right hand curved around her buttocks to keep her from pulling away, not that she wanted to. “You’re all cut up.” He pulled off his parka and wrapped her in it. “I swear to God I’m ten years older than I was when you went in there.” He pulled her against his chest, a place Annie was more than happy to rest.

Jaycie’s gratitude had made her forget her anger at Annie, and she finally wrenched her gaze away from Livia long enough to say, “I can never thank you enough.”

Annie tried unsuccessfully to stop her teeth from chattering. “You may not want to . . . after you hear why Livia . . . went in the cave.” She reluctantly drew away from the comfort of Theo’s chest and moved a few steps closer to Jaycie and Livia, but he came up behind her.

“You can talk to Jaycie later,” he said. “Right now, you need to get warmed up.”

“I will in a minute.” Jaycie was sitting in the shelter of a boulder with Livia curled in her lap, Annie’s coat draping them both. Annie looked at Livia. “Liv, I’m afraid I’ll say it wrong, so you’d better explain to your mom.”

Jaycie hadn’t overheard her daughter speak, and she was visibly confused. Livia turned her face into her mother’s chest.

“It’s okay,” Annie said. “You can tell her.” But would she? Now that they’d left the cave behind, had Livia lost her need to speak? Annie drew the parka tighter around her and waited, hoped, prayed . . .

The words that finally emerged were muffled, spoken against her mother’s breast. “I was scared.”

Jaycie gasped. Cupping her daughter’s cheeks, she turned her small face up and gazed into her eyes with wonder. “Liv . . .”

“?’Cause Annie and Theo was fighting,” Livia said. “It made me scared.”

Theo’s curse was no less heartfelt for being whispered.

“Oh, my God . . .” Jaycie pulled Livia to her again in a fierce embrace.

The tears of joy that filled Jaycie’s eyes made Annie suspect she hadn’t taken in the content of Livia’s words, only the miracle of her daughter’s voice. Now, while emotions were high, was the time to rip off the bandage of secrecy that Jaycie had plastered over the past and open the scab that had grown there.

Annie drew courage from the way Theo’s body settled protectively against her spine. “You might not know this, Jaycie, but hearing grown-ups argue reminds Livia of what happened with you and her father.”

Jaycie’s joy dissolved. Her mouth twisted in pain, but Annie pressed on. “When she heard Theo and me arguing, she was afraid I might try to shoot him, so she went in the cave to hide.”

Theo spoke vehemently. “Livia, Annie would never do that.”

Jaycie slipped one hand over her daughter’s ear, symbolically sealing it off. The tightness around her mouth testified that the gratitude she’d been feeling toward Annie was fading. “We don’t have to talk about that.”