Heroes Are My Weakness(104)

He hurled the stone into the water. “If you have to move out of the cottage while the island mafia fixes their mess, you can stay at the house. Take over as much of it as you want. Elliott and Cynthia aren’t arriving until August, and by then, you’ll be back where you belong.”

This was Theo the caretaker speaking, nothing more, and where she belonged was back in the city reclaiming her life. The boathouse flag snapped in the breeze. She squinted her eyes against the sun glinting off the water. Her stay on the island this winter had been a time to regenerate. Now she saw herself with clearer eyes, saw where she’d been and where she wanted to go.

“Everything is too uncertain for you in the city,” he said. “You need to stay here.”

“Where you can watch out for me? I don’t think so.”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his parka. “You make it sound so terrible. We’re friends. You might be the best friend I’ve ever had.”

She nearly winced, but she couldn’t be angry with him for not loving her. It wasn’t in the cards. If Theo ever did manage to fall in love again, it wouldn’t be with her. It wouldn’t be with anyone so closely attached to his past.

She had to put an end to this right now, and her voice was as steady as could be. “We’re lovers,” she said. “And that’s a lot more complicated than friendship.”

He pitched another stone in the water. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“Our relationship has always had an expiration date, and I think we’ve reached it.”

He looked more peeved than heartbroken. “You make us sound like spoiled milk.”

She needed to do this right. She needed to free herself, but also avoid stirring up his all-too-ready feelings of guilt and responsibility. “Hardly spoiled,” she said. “You’re gorgeous. You’re rich and smart. And sexy. Did I mention you’re rich?”

He didn’t crack a smile.

“You know me, Theo. I’m a romantic. If I hang around any longer, I might fall in love with you.” She managed a shudder. “Think how ugly that would be.”

“You won’t,” he said with deadly sincerity. “You know me too well.”

As if what he’d revealed to her about himself had made him unlovable.

She curled her fingers into fists inside her coat pockets. When this was over, she’d feel like shattering into a million pieces, but not yet. She could do this. She had to. “Let me give it to you straight. I want a family. That means as long as I stay on the island when I don’t have to, as long as I keep entertaining myself with you, I’m basically wasting time. I need more discipline.”

“You haven’t said anything about this to me.” He seemed annoyed, maybe hurt, but definitely not inconsolable.

She pretended to be confused. “Why would I?”

“Because we tell each other things.”

“That’s what I’m doing. Telling you. And it’s not at all complicated.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

The constriction around her heart tightened. He hunched his shoulders against the wind. “I suppose I’m being selfish wanting you to stay.”

She’d had enough misery for one day. “I’m getting cold. And you’ve been up all night. You need some sleep.”

He looked down at the wharf, then up at her. “I appreciate what you’ve done for me this winter.”

His gratitude was one more gash to her heart. She turned into the wind so he wouldn’t hear the tremor in her voice. “Right back atcha, pal.” She straightened her shoulders. “I have to pee. See you later.”

As she left him standing on the wharf, she blinked her eyes against the tears she couldn’t let herself shed. He’d given up on her so easily. Not really surprising. Duplicity wasn’t in his nature. He was a hero, and true heroes didn’t pretend to offer what they weren’t prepared to give.

She crossed the road to her car. She had to leave the island now. Today. This very minute. But she couldn’t. She needed her Kia, and the big car ferry wasn’t due for eight more days. Eight days, during which Theo could show up at the cottage anytime he wanted. Unbearable. She had to fix that.

As she drove back to the cottage, she told herself her heart would keep beating, whether she wanted it to or not. Time healed—everyone knew that—and eventually, time would heal her. She’d keep herself focused on the future and take comfort from knowing she’d done the right thing.

But for now, comfort was nowhere to be found.





Chapter Twenty-three


TO ANNIE’S RELIEF, LIVIA HADN’T fallen back into muteness, and she happily showed Annie a turtle she’d made from Play-Doh. “I don’t know what to say to her,” Jaycie whispered while Livia was occupied. “I’m her mother, but I don’t know how to talk to her.”

“I’ll get Scamp,” Annie said.

Annie fetched the puppet, grateful for the distraction from her own painful thoughts and fervently hoping Scamp could guide the conversation Jaycie needed to have. She propped the puppet on the kitchen table across from the two of them and turned her attention to Jaycie. “You are Livia’s beautiful mother. I don’t believe we’ve formally met. I am Scamp, otherwise known as Genevieve Adelaide Josephine Brown.”