Heaven and Hell (Heaven and Hell #1)(91)

“You’re already in,” I replied firmly and immediately.

Dad studied me for a long moment but his eyes darted to Sam and back to me before he whispered, “Thank you.”

I sucked in another breath as tears threatened again.

Dad’s eyes went to Sam and he stated, “You hold me responsible.”

My entire body grew solid because, after what Sam laid out for Ozzie, I had no idea what he’d say to Dad. The only thing I knew was he’d say it straight.

I wasn’t wrong.

“I don’t,” Sam replied and I relaxed.

“For Kia, you don’t have to –” Dad began.

“I’m not,” Sam cut him off. “I have not been in your exact position but I have been in a position to know that same shit is happening, to feel powerless, to try to run through every option available and think there are none. I said what I said to Oswald not only because he had the power to step in but he was objective and not intimately involved. The consequences you might have faced coming between a husband and wife, that wife bein’ your daughter who was too scared to be open with you so you could have no clue where she was comin’ from, were not the same for him. He compounded that by makin’ an understandable but incorrect decision on how to handle things after Clementine died. I do not hold you responsible, Ford. But it wouldn’t matter if I did because Kia doesn’t.”

I’m falling in love with you, my mind said as I stared at Sampson Cooper, listening to him speaking to my Dad as he had to me for the last week, removing the emotion, lifting the weight, taking action, giving peace of mind and doing it in a time still burdened with the unknown.

With effort, I tore my eyes away from him as this thought seared into my brain, down my spine, radiating out throughout my body and I looked to Dad who was watching Sam, his eyes working, his face suffused with a mixture of feelings he couldn’t hide, concern, gratitude and relief.

Then Dad nodded and looked to the floor, muttering, “Best get on out. Essie’ll wanna be makin’ the parfaits.”

“Sam and I’ll be out in a second, Dad,” I said to him as he turned toward the doors and I felt Sam’s gaze come to me as Dad looked at me.

Then Dad nodded and smiled, opened the door to the dining room and stopped, turning back halfway through and looking at me.

“I love you, my Kiakee, God shined his light on me the day he gave you to me and no matter what has come since I’ve never felt different, not one day, not for twenty-eight years.”

I pressed my lips together and only when I knew I could reply without it coming out on a sob, did I whisper, “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Kia –” Dad whispered back.

“Even then, Dad,” I interrupted him to say. “I just forgot for seven years.”

Dad closed his eyes, opened them, gave me a small smile, his eyes moved to Sam and his smile died, “None of my business, son, and you never have to tell me but I’ll tell you, whatever it was that made you feel powerless, I’m sorry you felt it. You gotta know what that means seein’ as you know I understand it better’n anyone.”

“Appreciate that, Ford,” Sam murmured, Dad nodded at Sam then he let it go and went out the door, closing it behind him.

I watched through the windows until he was gone then I saw through the windows to the outside that Mom was getting up and heading across the deck to the backdoor.

She was done waiting to find out what was going on.

Poor Dad.

“Kia,” Sam called and I looked at him.

“Thank you,” I whispered, his eyes shifted to warm, he started to move to me but I took a step back, lifting my hand.

His brows snapped together, he stopped, his eyes went to my hand then back to my face.

“Please, let me say this,” I said softly, he held my gaze, jerked up his chin and I continued. “Thank you for assuring my Dad I didn’t blame him. Thank you for understanding, not blaming him and sharing why with him. Thank you for taking care of me from practically the moment you met me and thank you for going all out to protect me. I haven’t felt safe in a long time, Sam, a very long time. I didn’t notice it missing but I noticed the instant I got it back and that was when I woke up in your arms in Luci’s villa.”

At that, his entire face warmed, his eyes got intense and he started toward me but I shook my head and took another step back.

He stopped and his head tipped to the side.

“I need to know you understand how much I mean all that I just said,” I told him.

“I understand, baby,” he replied gently.

I nodded.

Then I pulled breath into my nose, sucking in courage, definitely unsure and more than a little scared and went on, “I’m glad, honey, but now I have to be honest with you and tell you I wanted to go to my Dad during that. Several times. I know you felt it but you wouldn’t let me. That was hard on him and it was hard on me and a lot of what was hard on me was having to stand separate from him and watch him go through it without me close.”

Sam held my eyes for a moment before he replied quietly, “I get that.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“But you were doin’ that for you, baby. I didn’t hold you back for you, I held you back for him.”

I felt my eyebrows draw together and I asked, “What?”