Heaven and Hell (Heaven and Hell #1)(90)

I looked at Dad and lifted my hands to both his cheeks.

Then I whispered, “Please don’t let him get his claws into you. I couldn’t bear that, Dad. It happened, it’s over, we deal with what we have to deal with now, we bury it where it belongs because he’s dead and we move on. I love you. I always did, I always will. We all made mistakes, including me. You didn’t let me down. I didn’t reach out so you could hold me up.”

“Hon, I understand you see it that way but I’m your father and I knew. You didn’t say it. We didn’t see it. But deep down inside I knew and I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t –”

“Really,” I interrupted him, “we don’t have to do this.”

His hands came up, fingers wrapping around my wrists and he pulled them down between us and shook them while he said, “Yes, Kia, we do.”

I closed my mouth.

Dad held my eyes.

“Your mother and me, we talked about it all the time. We couldn’t figure out if you loved him and put up with it because you did. Or if he’d broken you and you were showin’ a brave face. Missy talked to us, told us you were not ready to go there and we just needed to keep an eye on you and be there when you were ready. She said if we pushed, we might drive you closer to him and deeper into that mess. But it went against everything I was not to step in. I talked to Cooter least half a dozen –”

At his words I felt my body jerk.

“What?” I whispered, my eyes wide, shocked.

“I talked to Cooter.”

“You did?”

“Half a dozen times. First to feel him out. Then I laid it out.”

I took a step back and stared at him.

Then I asked, “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“You laid it out for Cooter?”

Dad nodded, studying me.

“What’d you say?”

“I said you were not my girl anymore, I didn’t know what was goin’ on but if what I suspected was goin’ on was actually goin’ on, if it didn’t stop, I’d stop it.”

I shook my head. “But… when did you do this?”

“Year ago,” Dad answered then finished, “Too late.”

“What did he say?”

“Gave me a bunch a’ shit about how he loves you, everything is good, you can get moody and you been tryin’ to get pregnant and it wasn’t happening so you were out of sorts.”

I blinked.

Then I asked, “What?”

“Honey, though I hope everything is all right in that department, God works in mysterious ways and maybe –”

“I wasn’t trying to get pregnant!” I said kind of loud.

“You weren’t?” Dad asked, looking perplexed again.

“Uh… no,” I threw out a hand. “I mean, seriously, the man beat me.” I powered through Dad’s flinch. “What kind of idiot would I be to have a kid with a guy like that?”

“Kiakee –” Dad started.

“He lied to you, point blank,” I informed Dad.

“Kia –”

I whirled then informed Sam of something he couldn’t miss seeing as I was being loud but also he was only three feet away, “Cooter lied bald-faced to my father.”

“Baby, seriously, you look pissed and surprised but this is that piece of shit you’re talkin’ about, how can you be surprised?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know but I am.” I threw up my hands. “I mean, he didn’t just lie. He lied about me trying to get pregnant! I mean, how messed up is that?”

My voice was rising.

Sam just rose, physically, and came to me.

With both hands on my neck, he bent his face to mine and whispered, “Calm down. He’s a dick. You know this. Baby, he put a hit on you. This is the least of his sins. Let it go.”

I glared into Sam’s eyes.

He was right.

I sucked in breath.

Then I let it go.

But I was still pissed so I turned to Dad, Sam’s hands dropped and I laid it out for my father.

“Right, you know everything now. And it’s bad. And I can’t say I’m not scared. And I also can’t say that I have my head straight about all that’s gone on. What I can say is, I don’t need the additional guilt of thinking you and Mom are beating yourself up about this. I understand how you feel and I’m sorry you feel that way, Dad. But the bottom line of it is, I picked him, I married him, I stayed with him and I put up with his shit without asking for help. I brought this on you, you didn’t marry him. So please, I need you to work through it and get past it because it’s done, that part at least. We all need to move toward letting it go. Can you do that for me?”

I watched my Dad’s face get soft and in an equally soft voice he promised, “Yeah, Kia, honey, I can do that for you. I can talk to your Mom too. What I can’t say is that it’ll happen tomorrow but I can say I promise we’ll try.”

I nodded.

Dad wasn’t done.

“But what we’ll need from you is to know where you’re at.” His eyes strayed to Sam before coming back to me and he whispered, “First time in a long time, standing right in front of me, I see even a hint of my Kiakee. I’m glad to have her back but I know there’s work you gotta do. What your mother and I need is for you to let us in and help you do it.”