Heaven and Hell (Heaven and Hell #1)(103)

Instantly, Sam pulled away. My limbs tightened to hold him to me but he was stronger. He rolled off and suddenly I felt cold and, for the first time since our first date, I felt strangely alone.

His hand came to rest on my belly and his mouth came to mine. “Later. Now, I gotta crash.”

“Sam –”

His hand pressed in, his head moved back an inch and he cut me off with a quiet yet firm, “Later, baby.”

I stayed silent. This was important, at least to me. And it was growing more important every day.

But Sam Cooper gave a lot and he didn’t take very much. He didn’t want to do this now that was clear. So I felt I had to give that to him.

So I let it go but still whispered, “Promise?”

His hand slid up my body to curl around the side of my neck and he whispered back, “Promise.”

I studied him in the dark and decided Sampson Cooper would honor his promise.

“Okay, honey,” I said softly.

Then I lifted up, touched my mouth to his, pulled away then rolled off the bed. I went to the bathroom, cleaned up, went back to the bedroom, tagged my nightie from under the pillow, located my discarded underwear, tugged on both and joined Sam in bed.

Without delay, his arm shoved under me and he curled me into his side.

Yes. Okay. Everything would be okay.

I settled.

Memphis jumped up on the bed and sprawled on the side I wasn’t using considering I was on Sam’s side.

Then Sam crashed.

Then Memphis did.

A little later, so did I.

Chapter Seventeen

You Okay?

Eleven days later…

“You okay, babe?”

I turned my head from watching Sam standing in my yard, talking to my brother Kyle to Paula who was standing beside me, holding my plastic cup refreshed with lemonade, part of the many refreshments my mother brought to see us through the day.

It was early afternoon of my yard sale and after we finished up, Dad, Kyle and Sam were going to haul anything left to the Goodwill. Then we were going to Paula and Rudy’s for a barbeque. Then Sam and I were driving to Indianapolis, staying the night at the Hyatt and getting on a plane headed to North Carolina late the next morning.

Not that there would be much to go to the Goodwill. Firstly, an everything must go sale stated pretty clearly that the person having it wanted everything to go and not many people were adverse to a bargain. Secondly, everyone in America knew I was with Sam, which included everyone in Indiana so practically everyone in Indiana showed up.

We had our first person arrive at five thirty in the morning.

Sam didn’t even open the door. But he and Memphis got out of bed and walked to it then I heard him shout, “Come back on time. Eight o’clock. No sooner.”

Memphis yapped her concurrence.

Then Sam wrote a note, put it on the door and came back to bed. It didn’t stop a few people from knocking but he didn’t get up again. At seven thirty, my posse showed and we started dragging stuff out to the yard. The minute we did, all the doors on the cars lining the road in front of my house and down the side streets opened and they descended en masse.

Half the stuff was gone by nine o’clock.

Another quarter of it was gone by ten thirty.

Now it was two in the afternoon and only the dregs were left. I’d been so busy, I’d barely noticed if Sam was inundated by admirers (though I did notice many occasions he was chatting with people but just like him, he seemed to take this in stride). My house was empty save for Sam and my suitcases. I’d hired professional cleaners to come in on Monday and I’d given Mom power of attorney to close on the house for me, something that was happening on Thursday.

It had happened.

All that was Cooter and I was gone except for the dregs sitting on my lawn. I’d sifted through everything and there was nothing left. I’d even sold nearly all of my clothes except ones I’d bought in the months after he died and when I was on vacation.

I felt relief about this and it ran deep. I also felt a shimmer of elation. It was done. I could move on. Any memories I had were no longer physical, they were only in my head and those would fade.

That said, it was only a shimmer of elation because the answer to Paula’s question was no, I was not okay.

And I was not okay because Sam had broken his promise.

At first, I’d been patient and given him time. We were busy sorting through the stuff in the house, renting a small storage unit for anything I intended to keep and going on approximately three billion, four hundred and twenty-seven viewings with Paula (none of them fruitful, alas). Then there was hauling stuff to the storage unit, dinners at Mom and Dad’s, Paula and Rudy’s, Missy’s, Teri’s or meeting them at restaurants. There was also finding and hiring a cleaning firm. And working with Teri to arrange travel to North Carolina. And also Sam’s workouts and frequent telephone conversations with his crew of badasses and Ozzie.

But after awhile, the hard work was done and it was mostly waiting for the yard sale to happen sprinkled with an occasional (fruitless) viewing.

When we had time on our hands, Sam filled it. He did this by telling me he wanted to visit the places he’d frequented when he’d lived in Indianapolis.

I’d been surprised. I knew he lived in Indy for several years but I didn’t know he held any nostalgia for it.

This was because he hadn’t told me.