Heaven, Texas (Chicago Stars #2)(118)

How could he have stood up there at that microphone and talked to Gracie like that, no matter how humiliated he’d been by her rejection? The glimpse he’d had of her face as she’d run away would stay with him for the rest of his life. She’d believed every damning word he’d uttered, and the knowledge filled him with shame. At he same time, the echo of her words to him was scalded in his brain.

I can’t marry you, Bobby Tom. I deserve something better.

And she did. God help him, she did. She deserved a man, not a boy. She deserved someone who loved her more than he loved his own legend. His legend. For the first time in his life, the thought filled him with disgust. Whatever legend he’d had his behavior last night had destroyed, and he didn’t even care. All he cared about was getting Gracie back.

He was suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of panic. What if she’d already left town? Her moral fiber was the toughest thing about her, and now that it was too late, he understood how important her principles were to her. Gracie always meant what she said, and once she’d made up her mind she was right about something, she didn’t change it.

She’d said she loved him, and that counted for a lot with her, but by playing fast and loose with her affections and not respecting her feelings, he’d put her in a position where she couldn’t back down. When he’d looked into her face last night and heard her say she couldn’t marry him, she’d meant every word, and not even a public declaration of his love had been good enough to keep her.

A whole range of alien emotions bombarded him, but the most unfamiliar was desperation. After a lifetime of easy female conquests, he realized he’d lost his confidence. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so certain that once she got away, he’d never get her back, but now he knew he was going to lose her forever. If he hadn’t been able to win her on his home field, how could he hope to earn her love anywhere else?

“Well, well. Seems like the hometown boy got himself in a speck of trouble last night.”

He lifted his head and gazed through bleary eyes at Jimbo Thackery, who was standing outside his cell with a nasty smirk on his face.

“I’m not up to trading insults with you right now, Jimbo,” he muttered. “What do I have to do to get out of here?”

“The name’s Jim.”

“Jim, then,” he said dully. Maybe it wasn’t too late, he thought. Maybe she’d had a chance to think things over, and he could get her to change her mind. He swore before God Almighty that if she’d marry him, he’d buy her her very own nursing home for their first wedding anniversary. Before that, however, he had to find her. Then he had to convince her that he loved her more than he’d ever even thought about loving any other woman. He’d do whatever it took to make her forgive him.

He sat up straight on the edge of the bed. “I have to get out of here.”

“Judge Gates hasn’t set bond yet,” Jimbo said, taking open pleasure in his misery.

He pushed himself painfully to his feet, ignoring the acid churning in his stomach and the fact that his bad knee throbbed like a son of a bitch.

“When will he?”

“Sooner or later.” Jimbo pulled a toothpick from his shirt pocket and stuck it in the corner of his mouth. “Judge doesn’t like it when I call him too early in the morning.”

Bobby Tom could just make out the wall clock on the other side of the bars. “It’s almost nine o’clock.”

“I’ll call him when I get a chance. It’s a good thing you’re rich because you’re facing some serious charges: battery, disorderly conduct, criminal damage to property, resisting arrest. Judge isn’t gonna be too happy with you.”

Bobby Tom was feeling more desperate by the second.

Every moment he spent behind bars meant Grace was slipping farther away from him. Why had he behaved like such an ass last night? Why hadn’t he swallowed his pride and gone after her right then, gotten down on his knees if he’d had to and told her he was sorry. Instead, he’d wasted all that time acting tough and talking trash so he wouldn’t lose face with his buddies, something that had been a hopeless proposition from the beginning after his sickening performance at that microphone. He could no longer even remember why he’d cared so much about their opinion. He enjoyed his friends, but they weren’t the ones he wanted to live his life with or bear his children.

He couldn’t hide his agitation as he limped over to the bars. “I’ll do whatever I have to, but just not right now. I only need a couple of hours. I have to find Gracie before she can leave town.”

“I never thought I’d see the day that you’d make a fool of yourself over a woman,” Jimbo sneered, “but you sure did last night. Fact is, she doesn’t want you, B.T., and everybody knows it now. I guess those Super Bowl rings of yours weren’t enough for her.”

Bobby Tom grabbed the bars. “Just let me out of here, Jimbo! I’ve got to find her.”

“Too late.” With one last smirk, he flicked his toothpick at Bobby Tom’s chest. His heels clicked on the hard tile floor as he made his way to the door and disappeared through it.

“Come back here, you sonovabitch!” Bobby Tom shoved his face between the bars. “I know my rights, and I want a lawyer! I want a lawyer right now!”

The door stayed firmly closed.