Hawk (A Stepbrother Romance #3)(22)

"What are you working on?"

"Homework."

"It's Thanksgiving."

"Tomorrw’s Thanksgiving and I still have work due. The term’s almost over. I have tests and stuff," I said, exasperated.

The world blurred and my fingers hovered over the keyboard. I picked up the laptop and I wanted it throw it through the window, but I carefully moved it to the desk next to the bed. I couldn't afford another one. Once it was out of the way, I fell back against the wall and started sobbing. May climbed on me and hugged me earnestly in that overeager little kid way, squeezing the air out of my lungs. I hugged her back just as fiercely and rocked on the bed.

"They know something and they won't tell me," I murmured to her.

"I know," May said.

She was always too damn smart, and nosy.

"May, promise me you're not going to go snooping around or something. Okay? Tom’s dangerous. I can feel it."

She nodded and we sat there like that. My sister sitting on my lap was remarkably soothing. After a while, I was at least resigned to finishing my work. May grabbed a book from her room and sat with me while I put my finishing touches on the world's worst history paper. If Hawk was there, he'd figure out a way to force me to care about conquistadors. I just wanted to get it over with. It was a general ed requirement and I needed to knock them all out before I was accepted or rejected into the intense, grueling marine biology program.

That would take me even farther from home, to Lewes in southern Delaware. I was excited about it before, but now it meant leaving May in this place with no one to call for help if there was trouble. The idea made me nervous. May sat cross-legged reading a book on the bed, one eye on me while I worked. I finished the damn paper, set up my bibliography, put the computer away, and stacked up biology textbooks full of markers where I was supposed to pick up reading. I leaned back and rested the heavy text on my stomach.

May said, "Can I stay in here tonight?"

"Yeah, if you want."

"I'll be back."

She left and came back in her Hello Kitty pajamas and climbed into the bed next to me. I shut off the lamp and used the desk light to read. I'm sure May had grand plans of staying up all night, but she was dead asleep by eleven. When I started having trouble stringing the words together on the page, I closed the textbook, laid back, and let sleep take me.

I woke around two in the morning, spinning in the weird vertigo that comes from waking beneath an unfamiliar ceiling. May lay on her side, curled up next to me, chewing on her blanket in her sleep. I tugged it out of her mouth and sighed. She stirred but didn't wake. Then I heard the noise of an engine and light flashed through my window, which looked out over the backyard. I cracked the blinds and looked out.

The carriage house was open and Tom's big Mercedes rolled out, the headlights casting harsh shadows across the backyard. The car rolled on and disappeared, red taillights like angry eyes fading into the dark. I sat back on the bed and noticed May was awake. Her voice was very small, more a breath than a whisper.

"He does that a lot."

"Does what?"

"Goes out in the middle of the night."

"Any idea where?"

I regretted asking as soon as the words escaped my lips.

"No, but sometimes he's gone until the morning."

"Good," I shuddered, and leaned back into the bed. "Just go to sleep. It's not our problem."

May nodded and curled up, and was asleep again so fast I hoped she'd forget it even happened.

It took me longer. By the time I fell asleep again, the sun was starting to peek up and I could only find a hazy half sleep, tormented by dreams, or memories, of Hawk. It was not the first and not the last time I hoped this was all a horrible dream and I was napping on that last day of school. Any minute I'd wake up and he'd be at the door with his goofy grin, ready to take me on a real date and do what we should have done years and years ago. When I woke for real, my dream was left dashed on the floor. I woke May and shooed her out of my room, fell back on the bed, and dozed off until almost noon.

I dressed in my Sunday best, even though I was never a churchgoer, and descended the stairs. The house smelled right, warm and welcoming. There was a turkey in the oven and my mother fussing over a dozen dishes in the kitchen, and I decided it was a bad time. I ended up outside, on the back porch, for the next two hours, staring at nothing. I just wanted to be alone and outside was the best option. May came and tugged on my arm around two in the afternoon and I walked in through the kitchen.

"Help me get this ready," Mom said.

Sighing, I joined in without argument. I mostly poured various dishes into serving ware and carried it out to the dining room. It looked like a Norman Rockwell painting, with potatoes and stuffing and creamed corn and real cranberry sauce, and the turkey on a serving platter in the middle of the table. Around two-thirty, Tom appeared with Lance in tow, both of them in ties. The last of the food was moved to the table, I place a bowl of warm crusty dinner rolls on the table, and everyone sat down.

The tension in the room was like an over-tight violin string, and it was plucked every time I looked at Tom. He hadn't spoken to me since the night before and I wasn't seeking him out. He didn't look tired or anything, he just looked around the room and sniffed the air.

"Smells delicious, honey."