Hannah's List (Blossom Street #7)(86)

This was only the beginning. "As a matter of fact, yes. He's the most untidy person I've ever met. He leaves stuff wherever it falls and then accuses me of hiding it from him."

"That's a good one. Put it on the list."

Winter was really getting involved in this now. "He thinks he's a better chef than me."

"No way!" Alix was appropriately horrified.

"Okay, so he attended a fancy culinary institute, but my training was excellent, too, even if it was from a local school."

Alix pointed to the pad and Winter wrote it down in bold capital letters.

"Anything else?"

"Oh, yes." She went on for three or four minutes, adding items to her growing list.

"That's it?" Alix asked.

"Isn't it enough?"

"I want to make sure you think of everything."

Chewing on the end of her pen, Winter shook her head. "No, that's it."

She looked at her list. Articulating Pierre's faults, seeing them all in one place, made her recognize anew how unsuited they were. The situation seemed hopeless, which disheartened her even more.

"I suppose you want me to list his good qualities now." At the moment, Winter couldn't think of a single one. Not after making this lengthy list of his flaws, which seemed to outweigh everything else. How could she love a man who was completely unreasonable, short-tempered, inconsiderate and a slob?

"I don't want you to list his good points, because I think you'll have a difficult time finding any," Alix said. "I know that's how I felt when I was talking to Jordan's mother."

Winter nearly laughed out loud. "You're so right."

"Instead, do what Susan did and write down how you react when Pierre behaves the way he does. Start with the first one. What happens when he's moody and unreasonable at the end of the day?"

Winter stared at her friend. "What happens?" she echoed. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Do you get moody and unreasonable back?"

"I guess so. If he snaps at me, I snap at him. I don't deserve to take the brunt of his bad moods. No one does."

"Write that across from your point about his mood swings."

Winter did, and remembered the argument they'd had in late March, which had led to the current separation. Pierre had been upset about some incident at the restaurant where he'd been working. Winter couldn't even recall what it was. He'd come over to her place that evening and growled at her and she'd growled right back. Their disagreements usually began that way. She'd look forward to seeing him all day and, five minutes after he arrived, they'd be yelling at each other.

"What do you do when he stands while he's eating the meal you've prepared?"

"I..." Winter slowly wrote it on the pad. "I insist that he sit down."

"What about the messes he makes?"

"I've bribed and pleaded and begged him to pick up his own stuff. I am not his maid and I am not his mother."

"Exactly."

Winter made another notation on the second side of the pad.

"Okay, read me what you've put as your reactions to the first few things that bother you about Pierre."

"Okay." Winter read them aloud. "I get angry back at him. I demand that he sit down, and I bribe and plead with him."

Alix crossed her arms and nodded. "Okay, Pierre upsets you, and you become angry, demanding and manipulative. Do I have that right?"

Hearing it put that way was like seeing something from a completely different vantage point and Winter suddenly realized the role she'd played in their difficulties. "Yes, you're right." Hard as it was to admit, she had to agree. "The problem is, I don't know what to do about it." She sighed. "He just makes me so mad. Maybe I'm not helping the situation but..."

"If Pierre's cranky and upset," Alix said, "you should let him rant and get it out of his system. That's what Jordan did with me. He listened sympathetically and, when I was finished, he gave me a hug." She grinned. "Well, it wasn't always like that. We both had to work at it. After speaking to Jordan's mother, I saw that my reactions contributed to our troubles. Our conversation that day changed our marriage. I'll always be grateful to Susan."

"Your mother-in-law is a smart woman," Winter said. No wonder Pierre couldn't get away from her fast enough. She harped, pouted, retaliated. It wasn't a pretty picture.

As for his own outbursts, Pierre was seldom angry for long. Once he'd vented, it was over for him--but not for her. Perhaps things could change if her reactions to him did.

"He eats standing up out of habit," Winter murmured. "He tastes food in the kitchen at work and he's on his feet, so it's natural for him to do it at home, too."

"What can you do to get him to sit down?"

"Well, I know that getting angry doesn't work. Perhaps if I tell him the meal's ready and politely ask him to sit with me."

"You could try that. Or you could stand and join him," Alix suggested.

Winter laughed, and for the first time since their separation, she felt real hope.

"How'd your mother-in-law figure all this out?" Winter asked.