Hannah's List (Blossom Street #7)(65)

I liked her, too, and it was starting to concern me.

"She's funny. And generous." Apparently, Linda wasn't finished singing Macy's praises. "The other morning she brought in homemade granola bars for everyone. Did you try one?" When I shook my head, she went on. "Too bad. Anyway, Macy said the recipe began as a treat for her bird feeder and she just kept throwing stuff in. It tasted so good, she turned it into granola bars and bought birdseed for the feeder."

I grinned, although I was determined not to let Linda-- or anyone else--know what was happening between Macy and me. Not that anything was happening. But I'd actually kissed a woman I professed to dislike. To complicate the situation, I hadn't stopped thinking about that kiss. Correction, I couldn't stop thinking about it. An even bigger mystery was the fact that it had felt so...I'll admit it-- kissing Macy felt right. Everything about the two of us together was so wrong, it simply hadn't occurred to me that I'd enjoy holding her in my arms. Kissing her...

The rest of the day I felt a sense of expectation. No one needed to spell out what caused this feeling. I was waiting for Macy, and that just plain annoyed me.

She never did show up.

Friday morning I arrived at the gym in a bad mood. It didn't take Ritchie long to comment.

"What's with you, man?"

I mumbled something noncommittal about lack of sleep, which was true enough. I did my regular three-mile jog on the treadmill, speeding up the pace so I finished a minute earlier than usual.

I was in the shower by the time Ritchie appeared in the change room. He made some remark I didn't catch and I ignored him. To my surprise he was smiling when we met at the lockers. I'd assumed he'd give me a wide berth, which was what I wanted. Instead, he was chortling away, acting as if he knew something I didn't.

"I've seen that look before," Ritchie said.

"What look?" I asked, letting my impatience show.

"The one you're wearing. You've got a woman on your mind, and I'll bet I know who it is."

I could see there was no use trying to keep this to myself, so I blurted it out. "I kissed Macy."

My brother-in-law hooted. "I knew it." He aimed his index finger at me. "Didn't I say so? Didn't I tell you that you've got a thing for her? Would you admit it? Oh, no, not you. Not the great Dr. E."

"You haven't even met her," I reminded him.

"True."

"Then how can you claim you've known all along that I have this so-called thing for her?"

"Easy," Ritchie said, opening his locker door and turning his back to me. "You talk about her constantly."

"Because she irritates me."

Ritchie threw me a knowing look over his shoulder. "Irritates you enough to kiss her."

True. But I'd rather not discuss it anymore.

"So, you kissed her," Ritchie went on. "Why is that such a big deal?"

"This was a real kiss," I muttered. "Not a friendly little peck on the cheek."

"In other words, you sucked face."

I cast him a pained look. "How old are you? Fourteen?"

Ritchie shrugged off my censure. "Why are you so shaken up? You kissed her. You've kissed other women since Hannah died. Right?"

I sat down on the bench and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Those weren't real kisses. That kiss with Macy was hot." I paused for a moment, trying to explain. "I always thought I'd feel guilty if I ever kissed another woman. Really kissed her, I mean."

"And you didn't?"

"No, and that bothers me." There was a whole lot that bothered me about that kiss. The fact that I wasn't consumed by guilt was merely the first of a long list.

"You want to feel guilty?" Ritchie demanded. "Do you think Hannah's looking down on you in disapproval? Is that it?"

"No." I shook my head for emphasis. "I don't know what I feel." That was a big part of the problem. What I'd expected to feel was regret and it hadn't happened.

"I guessed all along that Macy was the one," he crowed again.

"She isn't." I stood and reached for my jacket. I was sorry I'd said anything because Ritchie just wouldn't drop it.

"You enjoyed kissing her, didn't you?"

I could feel it coming. I decided then and there not to answer.

"Kissing her has you all twisted up inside and now you're confused."

He got that right. I was more than confused, I was completely bewildered by what had taken place between Macy and me. "I'm not even sure I like her," I said.

"Oh, you like her," Ritchie insisted in that annoying way of his.

I refuse to believe I'm that easily read. Ritchie's my closest friend, but there are times he can be a real pain in the butt.

"Do you have plans for tonight?" Ritchie asked as we left the gym.

Today was Friday, when I used to volunteer at the free medical clinic until the incident with Shamika and her abuser. A replacement had been found and in some ways that was probably best.

"I'm going to call Leanne," I said, and instantly felt relieved at having made a decision. No, at having made that decision. We were supposed to talk about seeing a movie this weekend, anyway.