Hanging On (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2)(92)

John stared at her for a beat, then looked back at Adam. Then to William. He must have not liked what he saw in William’s eyes because he turned his tirade that way.

“What’r you starin’ at, haus? Pretty little thing you brought tonight. I’m thinking she might be good for a threesome. Legs up to her neck, tits for days; probably just as feisty as my bird in bed, huh?”

“Willie...” Adam murmured a warning.

John saw that he was getting an effect. He looked at me through the opening between Lump and William. “Want me to make her scream for you haus?”

“Shut the f**k up you soft dicked cur!” Lump spat. “How dare you talk to my friends, or about my friend, that way! What the f**k is wrong with you?”

John’s eyes must have changed, because Lump stepped forward to meet the challenge. Then she hesitated fractionally. Her dress and shoes were not good for this sort of thing, and she knew it.

William forgotten, John faced off to Lump. “Soft dicked cur did you call me? I don’t even know what a cur is, but you weren’t complaining about my dick the other night.”

He sauntered forward, all cocky pride, choosing to pick on the dressed up lady instead of all the big men. I’d never met such a coward. And that was saying something.

“Oh, sorry, you’re right.” Lump paused when John smiled triumphantly. “Tiny, soft dicked cur, I should have said. You weren’t much better than nothing, and if I knew where a dildo shop was around here, I wouldn’t have bothered. It’s a mistake I won’t make again. And a cur is a coward, or a mangy dog. Take your pick you f**king cunt.”

“Holy Christ,” I heard someone say.

John had had enough. He was ready to fight, and his target was chosen. He was preparing to strike a woman. It was the first time Lump had ever dated someone that wanted to beat her up. Often a man would wander into her fists by getting grabby on the dance floor, but she never brought a savage around. This was a first. And it was testimony to how off she was these days.

Plus, what an idiot John was. Did he think a bunch of guys would stand around while another guy beat on a girl? The whole situation was beyond ridiculous.

Lump turned to Adam and softly said, “Adam, I can’t do much in these shoes.”

“Say no more,” Adam replied quietly, his eyes on John. “I’ll take out the trash. Willie, I might need a hand. Moose, get the girls clear. Brad, stop looking so scared.”

There was some laughter behind John, which made him half turn to see if anyone was laughing at him. That’s when it all happened. Adam rushed, quick as lightening. He spun John, then reached around to get him in a full nelson, arms around head and neck.

John bucked, throwing kicks haphazardly, landing a shot to Lump, and one to Moose. Lump, just like Adam said, got caught on her dress and stumbled on her heels before succumbing to gravity and toppling backward onto me.

Moose got kicked again, trying to protect Lump, but this time it was near the groin area. He let out a whoosh of breath, bending to cover the soft part of himself. William executed a perfect dead leg, making John yell out, the kicking with his right leg stopping.

Adam got the full nelson in action and lifted the smaller man off the ground. John tried to backwards head butt, but Adam just leaned his face back so John hit chest before his air started to get cut off.

I saw the ceiling after that for a while. Moose had fallen on Lump, moaning and rocking. Lump was entangled in my dress and necklace. I was yelling at her not to move or she might hurt me or break things. Or worse, rip my dress, which would be more than a little embarrassing on the way out.

I saw Adam carrying the top half of John, William the other half. Jim, one of the friends, was walking them out.

I let my head and arms fall against the floor as Lump tried to instruct a crowd of boys to be useful. She apparently needed Moose hauled up in a certain way so as not to expose her crotch.

I could barely breath with all the weight, but for some reason, it didn’t seem to matter. My head was starting to get light.

“Up ya git,” God said from the heavens.

“I always thought God would have a deeper voice,” I muttered, feeling my body lifted by a few corporal hands.

“What’d she say?” God said. Deaf fecker. Which explained the unanswered prayers…

I couldn’t explain why that was so funny.

I fixed and adjusted my br**sts and chest, trying to get everything tucked in. It was hard, because someone was trying to cover me with a jacket. Which made it funnier for some reason. Laughter was bubbling out of me, making me slightly dizzy as well as hazy.

In another world I saw Lump lean down to Moose. Her dress was intact and shootes made it through.

Did I just think shootes? Shoez? Shhhoooooeeeeezzzz—what a funny word.

“You okay, Jessica?”

Lump was unnaturally close.

“Oh sure, not a problem. Our dresses still look great, Lump. Betz. I think it is really cute that Adam calls you Betz. And everyone else started. He is really a nice guy, you know. You should be friends.”

“Are you hurt or anything?”

“Don’t think so. Hit my head, but it is made of wood, so that doesn’t matter. She’s a witch!” I laughed.

Why did I feel so drunk? I’d only had three beers on a full stomach, so drunk was impossible. All the pandemonium probably.