Hanging On (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2)(90)

“Oh?”

Moose shrugged and paused to order. Then, “He doesn’t like someone thinking bad about him, you know? Especially a girl. But then, Willie said he deserved it; that he lost it.” Moose shrugged again. “Bad situation all around. I think Adam is embarrassed by it, but also hates that she thinks he is capable of it. So yeah, he’s gonna steer clear. Doesn’t want to worry her, I reckon.”

“I know. Over-cautious.”

Moose just shook his head. “Adam is a deep guy. He has a lot of past haunts, you know? She might ‘a gotten a little too close.”

“For her, too, I think. They are completely opposite, but apparently they share the same horror stories.”

“Makes for an explosive friendship. Great sex, I bet, though.”

“She said they didn’t. Did they?” I asked excitedly.

“Hey now. Whoa there! I was just saying that explosive friendships make for great sex. He said he didn’t stay there that night. Sounded like he didn’t trust himself.”

“Yeah, that’s what she said. Boring,” I admitted blandly.

He laughed. “Probably for the better, Jess. You don’t need sexual drama between friends.”

“Still boring.”

We brought beers over to those that wanted them. Lump and her man had moved toward the table where everyone was sitting, of which there were ten in all—many I had met before, none of which I remembered their names. As Lump neared, Adam got up easily and offered her his seat. Lump declined politely, but it was clear her heels, though cute, were not very comfortable.

I kept trying to tell her: that’s what you get for buying cheap shoes!

Moose offered his seat to me, and I declined as well. I had good shoes, and bare legs. I needed to let things breath a minute! Plus, I wanted to stand up by William. He was looking hot and I was getting horny.

Moose pointed to the chair and said, “Sit.”

“Bigger standin’ like a dog sittin’.”

“What?”

“What was that?” Adam said with a smile.

Everyone was looking at me. “It’s an Irish saying. Or at least I heard it from Claire. Bigger standing like a dog sitting. Dogs are taller when they sit down. Get it?”

“Dogs aren’t taller when they sit,” Brad said laughing.

William was using his hand as a marker to guesstimate.

“They are!” I laughed. “I had the same debate with Claire. We tested out the theory on some stranger’s lab. Nice dog. True, though.”

“It’s true,” Lump affirmed with a nod. “I was there. It wasn’t much taller, but it was taller. When dogs stand their heads stick out in front of them. Not up so much as out. When they sit their body goes at an angle and their heads point up. I dunno, but it’s true. Swear!” She made a motion like she was crossing her heart.

That started everyone on a debate. William gave his opinion that that couldn’t be true—he would know, he breads them. Brad agreed. He would know, he owns them. Other guys said they would know, but had the opposite opinion.

In the middle of a heated debate in which everyone had an opinion with no real evidence, Adam, who hadn’t sat down, took a slow, half-step toward Lump. Her man was off to pee or smoke or God knew what. Probably looking for expensive things to steal.

She tensed up and looked at him sharply. Adam froze, not moving anything but his mouth. “I don’t mean no harm, Betz. I jus’ wanted to let you know that you win the contest. Hands down, you and Jessie win.”

Her face blushed slightly. “The most dressed up contest, or the prettiest contest?”

She did a hair toss when she said “prettiest.” She was such a chick with Adam. Or maybe he just made her nervous and not many people did.

“The your shoes are the least comfortable contest. You’re too late for the prettiest contest, I already won that one. Ain’t that right, Jessie girl?”

“Always had that one down pat, Adam. I’ve never seen a prettier man than you.”

He turned back to Lump and shrugged with nonchalance. “She told me she picked Willie because I was too pretty. Ain’t that like a woman!” He started to laugh. Lump loosened up a fraction. “Now that we got that straight...Betz, please take a seat. My feet are hurtin’ jus’ lookin’ at ya. Jessie, you, too.”

“Adam, these shoes make the outfit,” I said in a haughty tone. “No one will be able to appreciate that if I sit. Look how good my legs look!”

“Adam, please refrain from looking at how good my girlfriend’s legs look,” William said.

Everyone listening started laughing, which was most of the table.

“Jessica,” William said, ushering me toward the chair. “You are making everyone uncomfortable. Do as the menfolk say, sit!”

“Whatever happened to women’s lib?” I cried.

“Women can fight perfectly well seated, thank you very much,” Lump said as she gratefully sat down.

Lump’s idiot man came back smelling of marijuana. Adam scooted out of the way and let head dick hover behind Lump. He eyed everyone suspiciously, but said nothing.

I couldn’t understand it. William had plenty of cute, nice friends that weren’t scary and weren’t violent. There were a bunch sitting at the table just waiting for Lump to talk to them. Couldn’t she find one of those?