Grounded (Up in the Air #3)(85)

I held perfectly still, now officially eavesdropping from inside of a bathroom stall.

“Oh, please. Take your guilt and get the f**k away from me, Tristan. I want nothing to do with it.”

“The guilt isn’t what I was talking about,” he said, his voice low and raw. “It’s you I think about. Always you.”

She snorted inelegantly. It was very un-Danika-like. “Please! You stopped trying to call me years ago. I haven’t heard a word from you since right after rehab, when you went on your repentance tour.”

“I didn’t trust myself, Danika. I needed my sobriety. I’m nothing without it, and you were a lovely trigger for me. That look in your eyes, after all that I’d done… The way you looked at me like I was scum, and knowing that I deserved all of your antipathy. I knew that if you looked at me like that again, I’d hit rock bottom, and this time I wouldn’t come back from it.”

“I’m with someone, Tristan,” she said brusquely.

“And if you weren’t? Would you be willing to talk to me—to spend time with me, if you weren’t with someone?”

“No! Bad things happen when we get together, Tristan. You and I are nothing but trouble. Time hasn’t changed that. Please, just stay away from me.”

I heard movement and then Tristan’s agonized whisper, “Danika, I’m so sorry. I’ll never stop missing you. You were my best friend. Can you ever forgive me for what I did?”

Danika’s answer was quick, sure and final. “I forgave you a long time ago, Tristan, but I will never forget. Please keep your distance.”

The door opened and closed. Twice. I waited a few more minutes before coming out, feeling guilty for being so nosy. I should have said something the second I heard them talking, but instead, to spare us all an awkward moment, and yes, because I was curious, I’d overheard that painful and personal exchange.

I compounded my sins by immediately telling James what I’d heard. I wanted to hear his take on it.

His brow furrowed and he shook his head. “I really don’t know what happened between them. Frankie is close friends with both of them, but even she won’t talk about it. I assume they used to date, because Tristan is so obviously in love with her, but even that is speculation on my part. And I know that he had something to do with the injury that gave her that limp, but that’s all. I don’t know what caused that injury, or what his part was in it. He just mentioned to me once that Danika used to be an amazing dancer, and that he’d ruined it for her.”

“That’s awful,” I said.

He nodded. “Yes. There’s a lot of bad baggage there, but what he said to you at lunch the other day was actually the most I’ve heard him talk about it in one sitting. Neither of them are forthcoming about it. We’ll probably never know all of the ugly details.”

I knew that he was probably right.

“Do you mind if I go and check to see if he’s okay?” James asked.

“Not at all,” I reassured him, thinking that he was the sweetest, most thoughtful man in the world.

Danika approached me, looking more serious than she had for most of the night. Every time she had sought me out before, she had been beaming, ecstatic to give me the news of another sale.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that little exchange in the bathroom,” she said, meeting my eyes steadily.

I thought I must have blushed down to my toes. “I am so sorry about that.”

She waved me off. “It was hardly your fault. You were just using the restroom. But I saw your shoes under the stall, and I wanted to explain myself. I probably sounded like a cold bitch.”

I stopped her, holding my hand up. “You didn’t. I understand completely. Sometimes protecting your heart is the only way to keep your sanity.”

She nodded, her mouth firm. “Yes, exactly. I won’t get mixed up with him again, and I refuse to lead him on. When I was younger, and stupid, I thought that he was the most wonderful and exciting thing in the world. I fell crazy, stupid, jump off a cliff in love with him. It was like being in love with a tornado. And when he was done with me, I felt like I’d been in a tornado. It took me years to pick up all of the pieces he’d left me in, but I did it, and I won’t go back. These days I want stability in my life. I need it.”

I nodded. I could well understand that. When you’d been through hell, stability was heaven.

She seemed to see that she’d made her point. She patted me on the shoulder and walked away.

Blake had come to hover near me when James had gone to find Tristan. As on top of things as ever, she was able to direct me to him, as well.

He was outside, speaking to Frankie and Tristan in a private patio area. James had his back to the door, his hands in his pockets.

I approached the three of them tentatively, not wanting to intrude.

Tristan was sucking on a cigarette like his life depended on it, his eyes wide on Frankie as she threw her arms in the air and spoke to him in a low voice, obviously giving him a piece of her mind. He’d taken off his tuxedo jacket and loosened his tie. The crisp white sleeves of his tux were rolled up to reveal tatted up forearms. He’d played well at being clean cut for a few hours, but his bad boy had obviously broken back out.

Tristan saw me first. He exhaled. “Bianca, help me! Frankie is a little termagant. Please tell her that one cigarette is not going to kill me.”