Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(45)

Kylie was delighted to hear it. To have it confirmed. She’d suspected, yes, but she didn’t truly understand the enormity of his vow. These two women would. They were both committed to dominant men. Men they were submissive to.

“I freaked out pretty bad on our first official date,” Kylie said, though this was not news to Chessy. “All we were doing was kissing on the couch, but I just kind of shut down and then freaked completely out. Jensen was worried. I wanted him to leave and he finally did only because he worried he would do more damage by staying. But he called Chessy to come over because he refused to leave me alone.”

“He sounds like the real deal,” Joss said softly. “He sounds like he cares a lot about you, sweetie.”

“I hope so,” Kylie murmured. “I care about him. I may even love him. I’m not sure yet. It’s all very confusing. He had to leave on a business trip right after our date and I didn’t sleep at all while he was gone. I don’t feel safe when he’s not there. And I hate that dependency. He came back a day early and I collapsed in the office. He brought me back to his house and has insisted on me staying ever since. I haven’t been to work since last Wednesday.”

“So it looks like he’s only willing to suppress his alpha tendencies in a few areas,” Chessy observed, her eyes gleaming in amusement.

“I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I kind of like them. He’s arrogant and bossy but he’s so gentle with me. He makes me ache. He makes me want things I’ve never wanted before,” she said honestly.

Joss reached for her hand and squeezed. “Then go for it. Give him a chance. And if what he said is true and he’s willing to give up control, then, honey, that is huge. It’s not something a man like him would ever do lightly and I highly doubt he’s ever made that offer to a woman before. Which makes you very special to him.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Kylie said ruefully. “I have zero experience with the whole dominant/submissive thing. And he’s admittedly a Dominant. All his relationships have been with submissive women. But he told me he doesn’t want my physical surrender, that he’d never bring the physical components of dominance and submission into our relationship. He wants my emotional surrender, and that I think is perhaps even scarier than the physical aspects of that kind of relationship.”

“It can certainly make you more vulnerable,” Chessy agreed. “But you have to look at the payoff and decide if it’s worth it. If he’s worth it. Because evidently he’s already considered his options and has decided that you’re worth the sacrifice he’ll make.”

“I understand Jensen’s sacrifice more than most,” Joss said quietly. “I denied that part of myself for Carson because I knew he could never give me dominance. I loved him and I have no regrets, but there was always a part of me that was unfulfilled because submission was something I needed—craved.”

Kylie fell silent, pondering her friends’ words and reactions. If they were to be believed, what he’d offered her was huge. And maybe she’d already recognized the magnitude of what he was offering her, but she’d needed validation from two women who’d know.

“I want to try,” she said honestly. “For the first time, I really want to try. I want what other women have. A normal life. Someone who loves and cares for me. Someone who won’t run from my past like I have and someone who will protect me. And he fits the bill on all counts.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Chessy said challengingly. “And no, I’m not saying you should rush into a physical relationship with him. But it sounds like the two of you are well on your way to something solid. I’m happy for you, Kylie. I like Jensen a lot. Yes, he’s alpha, but it’s obvious he’s very caring and sensitive to your needs. You can’t ask for more than that.”

Joss nodded her agreement.

“I’m scared to death,” Kylie admitted. “More scared than I’ve ever been. But it’s a different kind of fear. It’s not him I’m afraid of. Or having an actual relationship. I’m afraid of screwing this up. Just like I’ve screwed up everything else in my life.”

Both Joss and Chessy frowned fiercely at her. “You are not a screwup,” Joss chastised her. “Honey, you have legitimate reasons to fear intimacy. And Jensen knows that. Give him a chance, but more importantly, give yourself a chance. Trust yourself and your instincts. You’ll never know unless you give it a shot.”

Kylie nodded slowly. “I knew all this. I suppose I just needed to hear it from y’all. Thanks. I really needed y’all today.”

“Like you haven’t been there for us,” Chessy snorted. “Between the three of us, we’ve managed more emotional crises than a psych ward.”

Joss and Kylie laughed, the mood relaxing as the three enjoyed their lunch. Kylie sat back, luxuriating in the feel of something new and delicious. The hope of something permanent and real.

All she had to do was reach out and take it. Jensen had put her solidly in the driver’s seat. It was up to her to make the next move.

FIFTEEN

JENSEN strode into Dash’s office with a sense of purpose. Though the two men had conversed the evening before, Jensen hadn’t shown his hand. Not yet. He’d only said he needed to discuss important business matters with his partner the following morning.