Giving In (Surrender Trilogy #2)(38)

He closed his eyes briefly as the pain of that phone conversation hit him all over again. The knowledge that he’d done that to her. Had pushed her too far too fast too soon. He’d been remiss in not checking in more frequently with Chessy, but guilt had kept him from making another call. He’d been a fool. It wasn’t a mistake he’d make again. Ever.

Not again. This time it would all be up to her. She was in the driver’s seat except when it came to matters of her health. That he would solidly take over and he felt zero remorse for what he was embarking on. Kylie needed someone. And that someone was going to be him.

He gathered her gently in his arms and carried his precious bundle inside, kicking the door shut behind him. Bypassing the living room, he walked into his bedroom and eased her down on the bed.

She never even stirred when he pulled the covers from beneath her and then repositioned her so her head was resting on a pillow. He slipped off her shoes but left her clothed. He was in no way taking advantage of her weakened state and she’d be freaked-out enough when she woke in a strange bed. He wanted no question in her mind that he’d not so much as touched her.

He slid the covers up over her body and then tenderly pushed the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind one ear.

For a long moment he simply stood there staring down at her, filled with the sense of rightness. She belonged here. In his bed. In his home. She didn’t know it yet, but this was where she was the safest. Where he could protect her from whatever threatened her. He’d move heaven and earth to ensure she felt protected.

Had she ever truly felt safe with anyone except her brother? He knew she had good friends, a tight circle of people, only a handful. But he wondered if any one of them ever truly saw to the heart of her. If she ever confided her darkest fears and secrets.

Everything he’d learned about her had been from a third party. But he wanted her to trust him enough to share her past with him herself. Not because he had any morbid curiosity. What he did know sickened him. He simply wanted her trust and knew it wouldn’t be given easily.

But she’d already said that she trusted him on some level. Had said somewhat in bewilderment that she seemed to just blurt out things to him she wouldn’t ordinarily confide. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

Only time would tell. He was a patient man when the reward was worth it. He hadn’t become the success he was by being impulsive or impatient. And he knew that Kylie would present the biggest challenge of his life. Be the ultimate test of his patience and endurance.

He’d have to be strong enough for the both of them because she needed that above all else. And perhaps she would chase his own demons away. She’d certainly challenge his entire lifestyle, his dominance, things he’d ordinarily never surrender to any woman.

She required special handling. He knew this, acknowledged it. It was new territory for him and he didn’t try to delude himself into thinking it would be easy. He needed control. He didn’t just desire it. It wasn’t some kink he enjoyed. It was a necessary component of his existence and yet he’d give it up without a moment’s thought for this fragile woman lying in his bed.

It was unnerving. He could admit that. Tendrils of fear clutched at him, because for the first time in his life he was contemplating giving up the one thing he held dear above all else. Control. It wasn’t something he’d ever do lightly. It wasn’t something he’d even ever considered until now.

Love was sacrifice. It was making the ultimate compromise.

Love? Was that what he felt for Kylie?

He shook his head in confusion. He wasn’t at all sure what his feelings for this woman were. It was certainly too soon to be in love with her. Their relationship was tenuous at best. They had only a fledgling trust that had begun to build and that may have all been ruined on their last night together.

He certainly felt more for her than he’d ever felt for another woman. That much he could acknowledge. But he’d never considered himself in love with a woman before. To be so would have meant relinquishing control over his tightly held emotions. And he’d never entertained such a thing. Until now. Until Kylie.

“Fuck me,” he muttered.

He was in deep. Way deep. And this was by far not a slam dunk. The path before him was long, winding and uncertain at best. It would be the biggest risk of his life. And it all came down to his earlier question. Was she worth it?

Even as he posed the question again, his answer was still the same.

Yeah, she was worth it. God only knew why but there it was. He couldn’t simply walk away from her, no matter that it was the path of least resistance.

He was stuck, for lack of a better word. In between a rock and a hard place no doubt. His fate, his future, was in the hands of this delicate woman and the hell of it was she had no idea. No inkling that she had him so tied in knots.

He massaged his nape, weariness assailing him. He’d wrapped things up in Dallas a day early, eager to be back, to see for himself how Kylie was faring. Now he realized he never should have left, no matter that this contract was huge for his company. She’d needed him and he’d failed her. Just as he’d failed her their last night together.

That would all end now because going forward she was his primary concern.

THIRTEEN

KYLIE climbed through the heavy veil of sleep, realizing at once that something was very different. Oddly, no panic registered. Just a sense of . . . well-being. She felt warm and safe.