Give Me Tonight(39)

"So I did," he said lightly. "Yes, I've noticed a few changes in you." A teasing note entered his voice. "Welcome ones."

"I know things I didn't know before. And I can't ride as well as I used to. I'm not that Adeline Warner anymore."

"Why is it so important to be different from the way you were before? I wouldn't disclaim everything about the old Adeline if I were you." His cool, sensible manner made her feel a little better. She envied his control, his lack of fear. How wonderful it would be to look at the world as he did and believe that every­thing was rational and in perfect order. "There were a few things about you I'd come to admire."

"How am I different?"

"There are thing about you I didn't notice before, I guess." Ben paused and let go of her arms, bracing them on the wall behind her, forming a circle that enclosed her securely. "You're softer, somehow. You have more compassion. And you have the sweetest smile I've . . . " Their eyes met in the darkness, and Addie felt every bone in her body dissolve. Weakly she leaned back against the wall, her breath shorten­ing. "You've always seemed pretty callous for a woman," Ben continued. "On the outside as innocent as a baby, on the inside as hard-hearted and cash­ minded as any painted cat in Abilene—"

"What's a painted cat?" she whispered, and he laughed quietly.

"Ever hear of a bawdy house, honey?" The word "honey" was a casual endearment that everyone used. But when Ben said it, it was an audible caress.

"Oh," she said, her face coloring. "How can you be so rude when—"

"We seem to have a problem understanding each other, Adeline. How did you manage to learn so many new words and forget so many old ones?"

"I . . . I don't know."

"The way you look right now is different from be­fore. As if you need someone to take care of you. You've leaned on Russ in the past, haven't you? He's solved your problems, shouldered your burdens. But for some reason, you haven't been leaning on him lately. Why not? Have you two had a falling-out? Is that the problem?"

"No. Don't ask questions, I'm tired of questions, and I don't need someone to take care of me—"

"Yes, you do. There's been a hungry look in your eyes for days. A look of needing a man. Isn't Jeff ful­filling his role as your nearly-betrothed?"

Flinching, she turned away and tried to leave, but he wouldn't let her. His hands rested on her shoulders, and the hint of strength in his grip promised to in­crease if she didn't hold still. The protective walls around her heart seemed to crumble. The more she tried to steel herself against him, the more helpless she was. There was a dreamlike stillness between them, as each tried to see into the mystery of the other.

"No, he isn't," Ben said huskily, breaking the si­lence. "And you're looking for something better. So you're beginning to see him for what he is, hmmn?"

"No, I'm not! I mean, yes, I know what he is, and I like him just fine!"

"You like him for his looks and his money, and of course, his amiable personality. And at the same time you despise him for being a weak fool. No woman can stand a man who'll let her control him."

She glared at him, the line of her jaw showing through the delicate roundness of her cheek as she clenched her teeth. "You're making me sound awful. I'm not like that. "

"I've had you figured from the first moment we met. Oh, there've been some revisions along the way, but I've still got you down right."

"You couldn't begin to understand me," she said, her voice locked high in her throat.

“You know what a mavericker is, Addie?"

“A cattle thief."

"An entrepreneur. He doesn't let anyone stand be­tween him and what he wants. I'm that way by nature, Addie, and so are you. And neither of us has respect for any folk who'll let us take advantage of them. I have a feeling it won't be long before Jeff's charms are going to pall, and you'll start looking for someone who won't let you manipulate him. Don't look so of­fended. You know it's the truth. "

"It is not," she said swiftly. "You don't know the first thing about me, or about what's between me and Jeff."

His smile was taunting. "Don't I?"

"No," she said coolly. "Jeff is more than man enough to take care of me. And I don't manipulate him!"

Ben grinned, noting that her paleness had been re­placed by a healthy flush of indignation. "Be honest. You lead him around by the nose. "

"I don't!"

He smiled mockingly. "Such impressive loyalty to a man who doesn't know the first thing about you. I'd bet my last cent your conversations with him aren't worth a good cuss. But maybe it isn't his mind you're interested in. Possibly he provides a good roll in the grass. Admittedly his looks are passable, and then there's that mighty attractive ranch his father owns-"

"My relationship with Jeff is none of your beeswax!"

"None of my what?"

"You know what I mean!"

His eyes twinkled, and she realized he was laughing at her. "Yes, I know what you mean."

She was struck by the thought that he was Russell's mortal enemy. She desperately wanted it not to be true. "Ben . . . you would never hurt my father, would you?"