Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)(33)

I mulled over the many thoughts that fought to be the first out of my mouth. All of the ways I wanted to respond felt wrong.

“I know,” I said, sitting heavily on the couch. “It’s bad. But it’s been bad for a while now, Kale. We were never going to be what we once were. It’s too late for that. I know what you’re going to say, but please, don’t leave just because Arys told you to. Don’t let him make choices for you.”

Kale fisted a handful of his short, brown hair and swore. “He offered me a place with Jenner, acting as your second in Vegas.”

“What?” My jaw dropped, and my fists clenched with the sudden need to hit someone.

I hadn’t heard that part of their conversation, having already fled the scene. Arys was so out of line. This time he’d really done it. The onslaught of anger took me from simmering to boiling over.

Unable to contain it, an explosion of red-hot emotion poured from me. Rather than flow into the surrounding environment, it traveled that direct link to Arys and hit him like a speeding bullet.

I felt the impact, felt him take the hit, and found grim satisfaction in the pain it caused. For a moment the mental door between us was open, and I braced for either a retaliation or an explanation. I received neither.

Arys merely took the assault, knowing what brought on such a vicious outburst. I could feel him inside his small house, secluded from the sun. In that brief moment inside his head, I caught a glimpse of the hell he’d been going through. I remembered that I didn’t suffer alone. The separation was breaking him down too.

I could feel him waiting, but for what I didn’t know. Another attack. A mental tirade. Arys was so calm and willing to take whatever I threw at him. Unable to deal with that reaction from him, I slammed the door between us, shutting him out once again.

My hands shook, and white noise rushed in my ears. The lights flickered. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on containing the excessive force threatening to tear apart my insides. The frat house had been too much too soon.

“Alexa, look at me.” Kale sank to his knees on the carpet in front of me and took my quaking hands in his. “Ground the energy. Come on, you know how to do this. Probably better than I do. Just let it go.”

The power arced from me to Kale, seeking to draw him in as well. Unable to resist my thrall, I felt him begin to fall under my spell. With a frustrated growl, I sought out the earth, letting my wolf’s link to it guide me.

With great effort I aligned my energy with that of the earth. Then with everything I had, I pushed the excess force into the earth. It accepted my offering, bringing me back to a state of balance. I opened my eyes to find Kale staring at me with something like relief and sorrow.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You don’t deserve the hell I’ve put you through. If you want to take off, I don’t blame you for that. But don’t feel like you have to go to Vegas. Don’t let anyone make that choice for you.”

Kale sighed and lightly bumped my chin with a finger. “I haven’t been fair to you. Punishing you for saving me was selfish and cowardly. I acted out because I couldn’t stand that we couldn’t be together. But I understand why now. We bring out the worst in each other. So maybe it’s better that I go, for a while. I’ll be your eyes and ears in Las Vegas. I will still be part of you, just at a safe distance.”

“I can’t believe you’re even considering this.” I leaned in to press my face to his in a wolfish nuzzle. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” His soft chuckle both warmed and crushed my heart. “I think it might actually be good for me. And I know it will be good for you.”

I kissed him, a desperate act that exposed how weak he made me. I didn’t care. “I can’t imagine how you leaving me can ever be a good thing.”

“I know,” he murmured against my lips. “That’s why I have to.”

Chapter Ten

I lay in Kale’s bed, staring at the dust motes playing in the stray beam of light that found its way through a small crack in the blinds. It was nowhere near enough to be a danger, just a mockery of what I’d lost.

After a minute of staring at the shard of light, my eyes began to sting, and I looked away. Kale had fallen into a fitful sleep beside me. He’d tried so hard to reassure me, insisting that maybe Arys’s idea wasn’t so bad after all. No, it wasn’t bad, just cruel.

Arys wanted to separate me from Kale. My dark vampire was so headstrong, so certain that he knew what was best. He didn’t stop to consider what I wanted. He so rarely did.

I pondered his motives, wondering how he’d gotten Jenner to agree to take Kale back to Las Vegas. It didn’t strike me as something Jenner would voluntarily do. The thought of Kale in Jenner’s club didn’t sit well with me. Yet I knew there was trouble in Sin City and that Kale would be a valuable asset there. I was torn, hating that my reasons for wanting him to stay were entirely selfish and despising that I knew deep down it was better for us both if we parted.

The more I lay there thinking about it all, the more crazy I drove myself. Finally I slid out of the bed and went to fetch my phone from my shoulder bag in the living room. There were several missed calls from my sister and a handful of voice messages that I ignored. I selected a number from my contact list and listened to it ring.