Forever My Love (Berkeley-Faulkner #2)(107)

She looked at him mutinously. “Why are you going to London?” she asked, by now indifferent to the answer.

Alec did not reply but continued to stare at her with unfathomable eyes, and Mira became contrite as she realized what she had wrought with her careless words. She was supposed to have more faith in him than anyone else, and instantly she had assumed the worst about him. He had promised yesterday never to judge her, but she had just judged him without reason, like so many others did. What kind of faith is that? she berated herself.

“Alec,” she said gently, stepping close to him once again and laying a small hand on his upper arm. She could feel the bunched hardness of the muscle underneath her palm, betraying the tenseness that camefrom deep inside him. “I spoke without thinking. Of course I don’t believe that you would be unfaithful to me. But where you’re concerned I become jealous very easily… and you must remember that this is all as new for me as it is for you. I’ve never been in love before, and there are many things I am in the midst of learning.” As she spoke, she inched closer and let her br**sts press against him. “We have so little time together… don’t be cross because of my thoughtlessness.” She sought a sensitive nerve on the side of his neck and gave it a lingering caress with her mouth. “Tell me,” she murmured softly, “why you’re going to London and leaving me here to long for you.”

Alec stood there under her beguiling ministrations, the tender caresses and coaxing words, succumbing to her spell even as he marveled at her ability to pull all the anger out of him. It was a talent of hers that would continue to develop as she came to understand him better; she could charm him as no one else could, and she could make up after an argument so sweetly that he was almost grateful for whatever had caused it in the first place. It was, he reflected wryly, almost worth going out of his way to disagree with her.

“It’s about Holt,” he said, draping his arms over her shoulders and pulling her closer. “There’s a slight chance that Carr and I might be able to find out who killed him, or at least some of the reasons why—”

“No.” A chilling premonition crawled through her at his words. Perhaps it was wrong of her to be so afraid of the future, but she knew how it felt to have happiness wrenched away from her. It had happened before, and there was no certainty in her heart that it would not happen again. “Alec, no. You’re seeking revenge for something that should be left in the past.”

“I’m not looking for revenge. Just answers. That’s all I want.”

“You can’t bring Holt back. The answers won’t change anything. Name of God, it is selfish of me tosay this… but I need you now, and he doesn’t. I know you and he were close, but—”

“We were like brothers,” Alec said quietly. “You wouldn’t understand how it was, what it was like when he was murdered. And you don’t know what it feels like to have someone that close to you die… without dignity, without warning.”

Mira’s face was white, her eyes glittering. A strange feeling took hold of her, tightening around her throat, a combination of fear and dread and helpless anger. Yes, she did know what it felt like. Her own mother had died with far less dignity than Holt Falkner… for that matter, lived with far less dignity.

“No, I suppose I don’t know how it feels,” she said tonelessly, pulling away from Alec and walking to the other side of the room. “But I do know that I haven’t the right or the ability to keep you from doing this. All I am going to ask is that you keep from putting yourself in danger unnecessarily.”

His eyes flickered over her assessingly, but for once he could read neither her mood nor her thoughts. “Of course I won’t take unnecessary risks. All I’m going to do is talk to a few people, pay a few calls, ask a few questions.”

She nodded slowly, her face set and perfectly serious, as if she were aware that he was telling her something less than the truth. Alec did not smile again, wondering briefly what she would say if she knew where he was actually going. The sound of Rosalie’s footsteps alerted both of them to the fact that their fifteen minutes were over. Alec threw an aggravated glance at the door.

“I’m going to tell her we need more time alone,” he said, and Mira shook her head.

“We don’t, really.”

“The hell we don’t. I’m not going to leave without settling this first.““There’s nothing to settle. You’re leaving… I’m staying here… and I’ll be here when you return.”

The words should have eased the nagging sensation in Alec’s gut. Why, then, did he feel as if she had just slipped far away from him? Was she the one in need of reassurance, or was he? “Mira…” he said, gritting his teeth and starting across the room toward her.

The door opened. “I hope you’ve had an enjoyable chat,” Rosalie said cheerfully.

Her comment was greeted with a heavy pause.

“Let’s just say a typical ©ne,” Alec muttered.

Sensing the explosive tension in the room, Rosalie cleared her throat lightly, her eyes darting from Mira’s distant expression to Alec’s grim one. “Would you like me to come back in another few minutes?”

“No, thank you,” Alec said, trying to conceal his frustration as he took his gaze from Mira. “It appears that our conversation is through. Lady Berkeley, you may as well know that I am leaving immediately for London. Before I go, however, I would like to speak with your husband.”