Forever My Love (Berkeley-Faulkner #2)(102)

“If my son’s behavior has been what I expect it has,” Juliana said, “then it is fortunate for you that I am here to explain it to you. He is a Falkner, through and through, and Falkner men are jealous, brutish creatures—”

“I wouldn’t put it that way.” “Don’t contradict me, child. I know what I am talking about. I married one, and raised two, and have been surrounded by the rest of the pack for years. Alec is the one most in need of reforming. But he has endured and thrived under special circumstances. You must be aware that his father died when Alec was not yet a man?““Yes.”

“My son was forced to be a man too soon, and that has made him unique, and very hard, and inclined to demand too much, not only from himself but also from others. He is at once excessively cynical and excessively idealistic. I will tell you the reason why he is still unmarried: he has always wanted the perfect woman while believing in his heart that she does not exist. Of course, that is not so unusual, my dear… every man dreams of marrying a golden-haired angel, and in his folly, my Alec was no different. And then he met you. You are neither golden-haired nor, I suspect, an angel… and the discovery that he wants you has bitten deeply into his former convictions. It goes against the grain, it upsets his sense of Tightness and order.”

“I understand that.” Mira’s smile was strange and bewildered. “But, my lady, I do not understand why you are… why you have…”

“Why my allegiance is with you? Because my son wants and needs you… and I want what is best for him. I do not mind the rumors I hear about you… not because I don’t believe them, mind you. After having become acquainted with you, I am certain that there are many more scandals you have been involved in that have not yet been discovered. I do not condemn you, however, because at your age I was far more of a hoyden than you could ever be. Do you think that I was born with lily-white hands or that I was sheltered and petted all of my life? Think again! There is a likeness between you and me… except that there is a softness about you that I was fortunate enough to lose long ago, while you will probably never lose it. Yes, there is a likeness… though at your age I was made of tougher material, and while my face was not so comely as yours, my figure was better. Has this blasted mixture soaked into my eyes long enough?”Jarred by the abrupt change of subject, Mira remained stupefied and silent until Juliana repeated the question. “Yes… yes,” she said, jumping up and going to the elderly woman. “Keep your eyes closed for a moment—they will be sensitive to the light. They are watering, but that is good.” Slowly she lifted off the handkerchief and took it to the pier table, setting it down on the silver tray. Giving Juliana a dry square of clean linen, Mira sat down on the sofa with her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Very gradually the paper-thin eyelids lifted, and Mira found herself staring into a pair of eyes that approached the silvery shade of Alec’s. They were reddened slightly from the acid of the plants, but much clearer and brighter than before.

“Yes,” Juliana said, sounding faintly breathless. “Yes, it has worked. My sight is improved.” She blinked and looked around the room slowly, her canny sharpness replaced temporarily by an expression of wonder. Then she dabbed once more at the rivulets running down her cheeks, saying gruffly, “My eyes are still watering from those deuced weeds.” “It will stop soon,” Mira said gravely, respectfully. After Lady Falkner had left, Mira did not know how to answer Rosalie’s impatient questions. Although Alec’s mother had left with a satisfied smile on her face, nothing had been resolved… had it? Juliana had indicated that she would not tell Alec about the visit, nor would she approach her son on Mira’s behalf. What had the meeting actually accomplished? Very little… but somehow Mira was reassured by the knowledge that in Juliana Falkner she had a strong ally.

Another day passed by, and Rosalie began to make alarming hints about possible solutions to the dilemma. Perhaps, she suggested, they could go riding and stop at the Falkner estate on the pretext that Mira’s horse had lost a shoe. Perhaps they could call on LadyFalkner at a time when Alec was there. Horrified at the prospect of her friend’s well-intentioned meddling, Mira refused all of Rosalie’s ideas vehemently. Unexpectedly Rand lent his support to Mira’s side, telling his wife that Alec was not a man to be taken in by such transparent tricks.

“Mira has a right to her pride,” he said to Rosalie in private, sitting on the edge of the massive bed they shared and pulling her close to him.

“Pride! This has nothing to do with pride. One has only to look at her to see how unhappy she is—”

“Fleur, I understand that your motives are the best—”

“I just want her to be as happy as we are. It’s true that I would not have chosen a man like Lord Falkner for her, but she seems to think that he is the only one… I wish I could convince her that somewhere there is a man capable of giving her his whole heart—”

“Why can’t Falkner?”

“Because he is a Falkner.”

“Perhaps she sees him with different eyes than you do.”

“She doesn’t see him at all. She’s blind where he is concerned. Rand, do you think there is a chance that he really might love her?”

He smiled and pressed his lips against her forehead, closing his eyes in contentment. “You cannot force love,” he murmured, kissing her neck and then the softness of her earlobe, “or create it when it isn’t meant to be, or destroy it when it is destined to survive. Don’t you”—his lips touched hers gently— “agree?”