Following Me(53)

“But he didn’t?” Garrett asked.

“No, it happened again,” she said. “Not right away, but it did. I just couldn’t figure out how I could do any better. I was everything to him. I tried so hard to be what he needed.”

“If you think that, then why did you end up coming to Chicago?”

Devon could hear the desperation in his voice. He didn’t understand. He didn’t get what she had gone through. This was why she had never told anyone. She couldn’t break the silence only to suffer through disbelief. She couldn’t stand the thought of people judging her, or worse, people pitying her decisions. She had made the right choices for her at the time. Now, what happened if she returned…

Her heart sank at the thought she’d had every day since leaving. Would it all be as it was before? Would he do worse? Or would he realize that she was everything he needed?

“We started in this cycle that I didn’t think would ever break. He would get so angry, and I would take the brunt of it. Sometimes, I just cowered and cried until he forgave me. Other times, I would get angry and storm out. But then, I stopped getting angry. Leaving was not an option. It only made things worse. It made his anger more frequent.”

“You just kept letting this guy…hit you?” Garrett asked.

“You don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head. “I love him.”

“Dev—”

“It got worse,” she whispered. “I had to cancel classes for a week.”

“What for?”

“I could normally hide the bruises…that week I couldn’t,” she whispered, staring down at the carpet. “He never left bruises on my face again. It raised too many red flags.”

Garrett hissed through his teeth at the imagery. He didn’t say anything. What could he say? She didn’t want to look up at him and read what was clearly written on his face, so she pushed through, just wanting to get this story over with.

“But that wasn’t what made me leave,” she told him. “I had just finished my last final for the semester. When I finished, I was supposed to meet my favorite professor in his office to discuss my plans for next year. I got a text, telling me to meet him instead. I rescheduled plans with my professor and rushed to see him. I didn’t want to be late. When I got back, I should have smelled trouble. Candles were lit everywhere. There was a bottle of champagne and even rose petals.”

“That’s a sign of trouble?” Garrett asked.

Devon nodded against his shoulder. “It should have been, but I saw it as a romantic gesture. I saw it as a way to get back to the way it had been. He popped open the bottle of champagne while I stripped down for him. I thought it was going to be that kind of night. It felt like we were finally back on the right track.

“But then, he started asking questions about my professor and why I was going to see him. I told him that I had tutoring, of course, and that my professor wanted to congratulate me for a job well done this semester. It was an odd conversation. I mean, he didn’t like that I had tutoring, but that week off had put me so far behind that I had to use every opportunity to get caught up. He didn’t believe me.

“He grabbed my arm and squeezed as hard as he could, forcing me backward against the bed. He begged me to tell him the truth. I cried and cried and cried, telling him that I had told him the truth. There was nothing more for me to tell.” Devon took a deep breath and then continued.

“I felt like the bones in my arm were going to snap, but the pain evaporated when he yanked a candle off the table and held the flame to my skin. I screamed where it touched me. He said he would stop when I told him the truth. I tried to tell him that I was telling the truth, but he slapped me across the face so hard that I saw spots. He told me I was lying. Whenever the flame neared my skin, burning wax was dribbling down my body. He said that if I didn’t tell him, then I didn’t leave him any choice. I couldn’t convince him, and the pain was blinding. He moved the flames to the area, uh…just above my…” Devon pointed down to her nether region. She blushed but continued. “The feel of my flesh burning so near all those nerve endings was the most intensely painful thing I’ve ever endured, and soon, I blacked out.”

Garrett reached forward and threaded his fingers with hers. She didn’t know where it came from, but it was a sign of strength. Devon sighed and used her other hand to pull down the front of her tiny sleeping shorts.

“See,” she said, pointing at the scar right above her sensitive skin.

“Fuck,” Garrett grumbled.

Devon pulled her shorts back up, ashamed by the conversation. She had made him think she was cheating, so she had pushed him over the edge. Still, even she could see that his punishment was excessive, and her realization had spurred her to action.

He had violated her trust, the one thing she had given over to him completely without him ever having to ask. He had taken everything they’d had and torn it down brick-by-brick for his own deluded sense of control. He had beaten the trust out of her. He had ruined their sex life, ruined their relationship, and ruined her.

“When I woke up, he was gone. A couple days later, I was on the first train to Chicago.”

Chapter Eighteen - The Only Option

GARRETT DIDN’T MOVE for what felt like forever. Devon wanted to see his reaction. She wanted to know that he didn’t think any differently of her. She wanted to know a lot of things, but she wasn’t brave enough to look up at him.