Finding Perfect (Fool's Gold #3)(92)

Looking at her, seeing the disappointment in her eyes, was nearly the toughest thing he’d ever done, but he would be damned if he’d allow anyone to make him flinch.

“I do, too.”

“Do you?” she asked. “When you first arrived we were all impressed by your financial generosity,” she continued, her blue eyes dark with disillusionment. “Your reputation elsewhere was that of a man who cared about others. One who gave back to the community. So when you indicated you wanted to move here, we welcomed you as one of our own.”

She pressed her lips together. “I don’t know all the details about what happened with Pia, but I do know that she is a loving, giving young woman. To see her unhappy pains me. It pains us all.”

His body tensed. He squared his shoulders. “I didn’t hurt Pia. We had a deal. She changed her mind.”

“If she’s not hurt, then why was she crying over you?”

Pia crying? She’d been so sure when she’d left. How could she be wounded?

The mayor drew in a breath. “I’m sure you have some measure of guilt for all this, but fear not. It will pass. Peter will be taken care of, and Pia, too, because that’s what we do here. We protect our own.” She put her hand on his arm. “I want to believe you’re a good man trying to be a better one. But from what I can see, you’re getting in your own way when things get personal.” She stared into his eyes. “For your own sake, and for Pia and Peter, maybe it’s time to risk more than your money.”

With that, she turned and left. Raoul watched her go, feeling the slice of every honest word. He had never been what Hawk had raised him to be. It was all on the surface.

He crossed to the window and stared out at the town.

He’d wanted to settle here, to make a difference. He’d thought he would grow old here. But that wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t belong. No one would say it to his face, but it was true. He deserved to be run out with pitchforks and torches.

He swore, not knowing which was worse—that he’d lost Pia, or that he’d broken the heart of a little boy who’d been foolish enough to believe in him.

He continued to stand by the window, waiting for the day to pass. He needed it to be dark so he could slink home without being seen and figure out what he was supposed to do next.

“APPARENTLY MARSHA GAVE him one of her famous talks,” Charity said, as she and Pia sat at the Fox and Hound having lunch. “She wouldn’t give me details, but I’m sure she got inside his head and messed with him.”

Pia felt awful. Not only was she still hurting from missing Raoul, she felt terrible about Peter’s situation. While she agreed that Raoul had given the boy the impression he would be there for him, she knew the man she loved would never deliberately hurt anyone. It seemed there were no winners in this situation.

“Did she say how he looked?”

“No.” Charity studied her. “You really do love him, don’t you?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I thought this would disillusion you.”

“No. He has a good heart and he’s a good guy. None of this is easy for him.”

She thought about his past, how Caro had betrayed him. How he was afraid to trust.

“Everyone needs to give him a break,” she said firmly.

Charity hesitated. “Marsha thinks he might be leaving town.”

Pia’s breath caught. “Leaving? Why? He’s settled here. He has the camp, which is what brought him here. There are plans for special classes and intensive learning. He would never give that up.” The camp represented his future.

She looked at her friend. “There’s no way he would make the decision on his own. What happened? Did Marsha run him out of town?”

“No, but she made it clear she was disappointed. How will he handle that?”

“I don’t know,” Pia admitted. Would he leave? If he didn’t feel comfortable in town, he might. She hated the thought of Fool’s Gold without him.

“I’m sorry,” Charity told her.

“Me, too,” Pia said. “I want him here. I want him to stay. While I’m at it, I want him to love me back.”

“You don’t get to decide any of that,” her friend reminded her.

If only things could be different, Pia thought sadly. But they weren’t.

RAOUL’S PLAN TO WAIT until dark lasted about an hour. He paced in his office, tried working, then had to fight the need to throw the damn computer across the room.

He was furious and ashamed and disappointed—all with himself.

He’d come here with big ideas for finding the right place, the right way to give back. Being like Hawk, changing lives, had driven him. Everything about Fool’s Gold had appealed to him. The friendly small town had made him feel welcome. Then what had he done? Blown it.

Years ago, in college, he’d screwed up big-time. Hawk had been the one to get him back on track. Since then, Raoul had managed to find his way on his own. Until now.

He couldn’t figure out where it had all gone wrong. With Pia, he supposed it had been when he’d offered to marry her so he could have everything he wanted without putting any part of himself on the line. He’d taken the easy, safe way out, and it had all gone to hell.

He should have known he couldn’t have it all for free. That was like making a deal with the devil. If it looked too good to be true, it was.