Fighting for Love (Second Chances #4)(77)
Today we both achieved something amazing and we did it together. I missed him so much and I couldn’t wait to visit Maddy and tell her all about it.
Sep. 19, 2007
I visited Maddy today to tell her the good news about her daddy and how one day he was going to be a famous fighter with everyone knowing his name. I could just imagine the sound of her little giggle as I told her and the way her eyes would sparkle with pride. She would be almost three years now if she was alive. The pain is still there, especially when it gets closer to her birth date, but Jace and Lexi always make sure I’m okay. I wouldn’t have made it through any of the hard times without them.
For the rest of the years after that, Shelby constantly talked to Maddy about me and how much I loved her and how amazing of a father I would’ve been to her. Never once did she talk about herself; it was all about me. There wasn’t a day that went by when she didn’t mention my name or rave about how proud she was of me for all of my accomplishments. Shelby might have made some wrong decisions, but she was the most selfless, caring, loving, and passionate woman I knew.
I loved her, I wanted her, and I didn’t deserve her.
“Are you ready for the fight tonight, son?” Carter asked, rubbing his hands together. “Because by the way you trained this past week I think you could take on Kyle with your hands tied behind your back.”
“I’ve never been more ready in my life,” I stated wholeheartedly. Packing up my gym bag, I headed for the door. “I’ll meet you at the arena later this afternoon. There’s something I have to go do.”
“Don’t be late,” he hollered after me.
This is one fight I’m not going to be late for, I thought.
My conditioning was done and I had four hours before I needed to be at the Sleep Train Arena in Sacramento. After reading Shelby’s journals last night there was something I wanted to do, and I didn’t want to wait to do it. It just so happened that both places were located in Sacramento. Before arriving at the cemetery, I stopped at one of the local florists and bought a dozen pink sunflowers. Shelby always did lilies, but I wanted to give Madelyn something different … something from me.
I didn’t know exactly where her family’s plot was in the Grove Park Cemetery, but I had time, so I walked around the hundreds of headstones until I found the Dawson family plot. When I saw the statue of a baby angel I knew that was where I would find her. Slowly, I walked toward it, grasping the flowers in my hand. The closer I got, the easier I could see the words on her grave stone.
MADELYN AVERY REYNOLDS
OUR LITTLE ANGEL
OCT. 23, 2003– OCT. 23, 2003
Bending down on my knees, I put her flowers in the vase attached to her headstone and traced her name with my finger. “Maddy,” I choked out, swallowing hard. “It’s me … your daddy’s here.”
“I’m so …” I started to say, but stopped when my chin started to tremble uncontrollably.
I wiped away the tears in my eyes, but more came and they wouldn’t stop. Leaning over, I kissed her name on the cold gravestone and let my heart bleed out for her and for Shelby. A part of me was taken away and I never knew; a part of my soul. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, hoping I’d be able to calm myself down enough to talk to my daughter. My heart ached as if someone crushed it in their fist, and to make it worse I felt the same pain in my gut. I hurt when Shelby left, but nothing could compare to the emotional pain of knowing you lost a child.
“Maddy,” I murmured, my body shaking, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been by here sooner, but I wanted to come by and tell you that I love you. I would’ve given anything to have been able to hold you just once, or even to see what you looked like. There are so many things I wish I could do with you. I would’ve shown you how to ride a bike, teach you how to swim, and even learn how to punch the little boys if they bothered you. I would’ve taken you fishing even though your mother absolutely hated touching the bait.” I stopped and laughed as a vision of Shelby baiting her own hook with a worm came to mind.
“I bet you wouldn’t have been scared to touch the worms. No, not my little girl. You would’ve been a fighter just like me. It just so happens I have a tough one tonight, little angel. I’m sure you’ll send me some good luck, right?”
Closing my eyes, I leaned over and put my forehead to the soft, green grass below, letting the tears flow freely. I sat there for about an hour, feeling the wind all around me and hearing the tree branches as they swayed back and forth. There was no one in the cemetery except me, but for some reason I didn’t feel alone.
“I promise I’ll come back again and talk to you, Maddy. There are so many stories I could tell you about your mother. When I come back, I’ll tell you one.”
Getting to my feet, I kissed my fingers and placed them on top of her gravestone. “Good-bye, my little angel.”
I’ll be back.
“YOU’RE UP NEXT, SON. ARE you ready for this?” Carter asked.
Jumping in place, I closed my eyes and stretched out the muscles in my neck and arms. “I’m ready,” I growled low. “That f*cker’s going down tonight.”
Carter chuckled. “That’s what I like to hear. Remember, stay focused. He’s going to taunt you and say some things to get your hackles up. Don’t … let … him … break your concentration, you hear me?”