Fighting for Love (Second Chances #4)(3)
Sheepishly, Lexi slumped down in her chair. “Yeah, kind of. She was almost positive you would like him, so she offered me two tickets to see One Direction in concert if I added her boyfriend and Caleb to the after party list. It worked out great, didn’t it? He’s cute and you both seemed to hit it off pretty well. Since you didn’t know it was a blind date, there wasn’t all of that blind date awkwardness that you hate so much.”
Yeah, that’s true, but it could’ve also been the martinis that helped.
“And you never answered my question,” she stated impatiently. “What happened between you and Caleb?” She sat at the edge of her seat, her eyes twinkling with mischief, as if I was going to tell her some big secret. Sadly, there wasn’t too much to tell.
“We just kissed, Lexi. That’s it, I promise,” I replied, taking a seat at my desk and grinning from ear to ear. “He also gave me his number.”
Caleb was a great guy; the first man in a long time that actually made me laugh and smile. I had a good time with him, flirting and talking, and once the night was up I let him kiss me goodnight. He left the ball in my hands by giving me his number, so it was only a matter of calling or not calling him. However, underneath that carefree attitude of his and boyish smile, I couldn’t get over the color of his majestic, emerald green eyes. That color haunted me because they were the same hint of green as the guy I left ten years ago. It was almost like I could never escape the memories of my past.
“Well, are you going to call him?” she asked excitedly.
When my smile faded, Lexi sighed and reached for my hand across the desk. Over the past few years I’d dated different men and I actually slept with a couple of them, thinking that the intimacy would help me move on. I was twenty-seven years old; I wanted a long lasting relationship. So far nothing had worked.
“Shels, you need to stop this. Moving on isn’t easy and I understand that, but if you don’t honestly try to then it’s never going to happen. Whether you call Caleb back or not, you owe it to yourself to be happy. You can’t punish yourself forever. You are worthy of a relationship, you know.”
Her words were the truth, but it didn’t stop my heart from wanting to hold onto the past just a little while longer. There was always that part of me that said, Don’t give up, there is still hope. I’d been saying that for ten years and nothing ever came of it. You could only hold out for so long before life passed you by. Do I honestly want to waste more time?
The answer was no.
Hanging my head and closing my eyes tight, I blew out a shaky breath and finally found the courage to admit my secret, “You’re right, Lexi. I have been punishing myself by holding onto the past, but the truth is that I don’t know how to move on. I can’t seem to let go.”
Squeezing my hand, Lexi breathed a sigh of relief, and with a smile on her face, uttered happily, “Well, it’s about damn time you admitted you have issues. That’s the first step to moving on. Why don’t you call Caleb and hang out as friends? Take things slow and see where it leads. It doesn’t hurt to see what could be there.”
Getting to her feet, she adjusted the camera around her neck and ambled toward the door. “All right, now that I’ve given you a day’s worth of good advice, I have to go. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll take the day off and use that time wisely.” She stopped by the door and turned around, gazing out the window behind me with a sly grin on her face. “You know, it’s a beautiful day out there. A day at the beach would be the perfect time to relax and get to know someone without the pressure of other people around. Just saying …”
She winked at me and disappeared out the door. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was suggesting, so the only issue was if I was going to heed it. Staring at my computer screen, an email from Bryan popped up, but instead of opening it up I turned off my laptop. Today was supposed to be my day off, so I was going to treat it like one. If Bryan’s email was important it would be in my inbox tomorrow morning. For now, it was my time to let it go and enjoy a day at the beach.
It was going to feel good to do something different, and it was only the beginning.
THE MUSCLES IN MY THIGHS and calves burned as I raced through another mile … and then another. Every morning before going to the gym I ran at least three to four miles per my coach’s order, but at the moment I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to go harder. The more I pushed myself the better I became. It was something I learned a long time ago. Some people had things handed to them, while others just sat on their asses not giving a shit about making themselves better. I, on the other hand, worked hard for all that I had, and not a day went by when I didn’t strive to move up another step. It was all I lived for: training and fighting.
Even during the off season I trained just like I would if I was competing. Now my off time was over, and in a couple of days I would have my first fight in the Golden State MMA Tour at the Sleep Train Arena in Sacramento.
Fuck Sacramento.
It was the one city I loved once before, but now hated. I had a worthless excuse of a father who left my mother when I was eight years old with nothing to help support me or my sister. Every day since then I’ve worked my ass off, doing various jobs for our neighbors so I could help keep us afloat until I got old enough to get a real job. As soon as I saved enough money, I packed up my mother and younger sister and left, never once looking back. Recently, my mother followed her dream and opened up her own hair salon, and my sister was in her third year of college studying Marine Biology.