Fever (Breathless #2)(28)

Not knowing what else to do, she leaned into his chest, burying her head on his shoulder. He seemed surprised but then he wrapped both arms solidly around her, surrounding her with his strength and warmth. He rubbed a hand up and down her back and he pressed kisses to her hair.

And he waited. He sat there with her firmly in his embrace, and he remained quiet, almost as if he could see her struggling to work up the courage to tell him what he wanted to know.

There was no way he’d want her after she told him everything. No way in hell. One part of her was relieved. It solved the issue of him taking over and butting into her life. But a huge part of her was devastated.

Jace was pure temptation. He did and said all the right things. Things that went straight to her heart, and worse, they inspired the one thing that she’d given up long ago. Hope.

“It’s a really long story,” she said against his shirt.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. We have all night. I’m here. I’m listening.”

God, he was too good to be true. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, sucking in the smell of him. And then finally she drew away.

“Why don’t you let me get a blanket. We’ll get comfortable on the couch and sit in front of the fire. You talk and I’ll listen. Deal?”

She took a deep breath and then took the plunge. “Deal.”

Chapter eleven

Jace pulled her into his arms and she snuggled against his side, curving her body into the hollow of his shoulder. He arranged the blanket around them and tucked the ends securely over her body. When he was done, he kissed the top of her head and she knew it was time.

Time to lay bare her soul. To tell him all her shameful secrets. The things that haunted her sleep to this day. He simmered with impatience—had been all evening—and yet he’d displayed remarkable restraint. He was likely ready to strangle her, but this wasn’t easy for her and perhaps he knew it.

“For as long as I can remember, it’s always been Jack and me,” she said quietly.

Jace tensed against her. “Who the f**k is Jack?”

“My brother,” she said truthfully. It wasn’t a lie because he was her brother. It didn’t matter that they didn’t share a parent. Jack was her guardian angel. And now she was his.

His grip around her loosened the tiniest bit and he went back to smoothing his palm up and down her arm.

“Nobody wanted us when we were young, and so we were in and out of foster homes. Sometimes we got split up. Other times we were together. Mostly in group homes of some sort. As we got older, we rebelled, especially if we were going to be placed apart. We got into trouble. A lot.”

Jace kissed her temple and left his lips there a long moment, offering her silent support.

She pondered a moment the best way to get the nuts and bolts of her past out without spending a lot of time on details. The story wasn’t pretty. It definitely wasn’t all hearts and flowers. The very last thing she wanted was for Jace to feel sorry for her. But he needed to know enough to understand what he was getting into. Just like he wanted. She knew he wouldn’t want her after finding out the mess she was. But at least she had one more night where she could pretend that things were very different for her.

Sadness gripped her and she knew it showed in her expression. Jace brushed his knuckles down her cheek and she could see his frown from the corner of her eye.

“Tell me, Bethany. It won’t make a damn bit of difference.”

But she knew it would. It always did. It always would.

She sucked in a deep breath and plunged forward. Better to have done with it quickly. Like ripping off a bandage instead of peeling it slowly. “When I was eighteen, I was in a bad car accident. I was in the hospital for months. Broke both legs. It really sucked. I had to basically learn to walk again. Lots of therapy. The pain was overwhelming. I got hooked on painkillers. In the beginning, my using them was absolutely a legitimate medical necessity. When I took them, everything was better. No pain. They made me confident, able to face the world. They made everything seem not so bad and hopeless. I began to need them, not for physical pain, but for emotional well-being. When I tried to go off them, it was horrible.”

A low growl escaped Jace’s throat and she blinked back tears. Of course he’d disapprove. He was probably disgusted with her weakness. Jace didn’t strike her as a person who ever needed anything or anyone. He was strong. She wasn’t. She never had been.

“That was what the drug possession charge was for,” she mumbled. “I was no longer able to get the prescription from my doctor and the pain and psychological effects were so horrible. I just couldn’t cope. So I did something stupid and I bought them . . . illegally. What’s bad is that I didn’t even use them. I got caught in a sweep. Didn’t have a prescription. Got arrested for having a schedule-three controlled substance. I got off with a slap on the wrist, but it was a hard lesson to learn. Even though I got off pretty light, it f**ked up a lot for me. It’s hard to get a job when you have that arrest on your record. No one wants to hire an addict.”

Jace squeezed her to him and she felt him tremble against her. Anger? She couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t bear to see the censure in his eyes. She’d beat herself up enough over the years. She wasn’t going to let someone else do it for her.

“You said Ash and I were a relapse. You said that night that you’d had a threesome before. Where does that fit in?” Jace asked quietly.