Falling Light (Game of Shadows #2)(37)

“Do you even know why you’re angry?”

She grimaced. “This doesn’t make any sense. It isn’t rational, and I know it’s not fair, but I’m mad at you because you’ve been with Michael for so long when I wasn’t able to.”

Astra’s face went blank. Then she barked out a laugh. “That explains it too,” she said. They fell silent again. Astra sighed and looked over the water. Her expression turned dreamy. “I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not that you don’t remember home,” she said. “We could see colors that humans can’t even imagine. When we heard the vibration of each other’s energy, it was like listening to the most beautiful singing imaginable. I remember everything, and it hasn’t made it any easier to be here.”

On impulse, Mary reached out and touched Astra’s knee. Astra covered her fingers with a gnarled, blue-veined hand. She felt a subtle, delicate probing through their joined hands, quite unlike the straightforward vigor and assured authority in Michael’s presence.

In a deliberate act of trust she forced herself to maintain physical contact. She thought she caught a glimmer of approval in those bird-bright eyes before Astra’s manner changed.

“Come on, fool,” the old woman scolded, leaning forward to reopen the plastic container of food and shove it under her nose. “Eat a biscuit. Michael told me everything that happened yesterday. You’ve accomplished some undeniable miracles, but that body of yours has taken some harsh punishment. There’s a limit to what you can demand of it. Be nice to it and feed it something.”

“I’m pretty tired,” Mary admitted. Obediently she chose a biscuit, broke it in half and took a bite. To her intense pleasure, it was light and flaky and rich with a buttery taste. It melted in her mouth. She bolted the rest of it down and, having rediscovered her appetite, she reached for a slice of bacon.

Astra poured her another cup of tea. “I’m glad the Lake likes you and decided to bring you two here.”

Mary stared, the half-eaten piece of bacon held suspended in front of her open mouth. She lowered her hand, swallowed hard and looked over her shoulder. The sun had crested the horizon with a glorious blaze of color. The serene water winked with a reflected array of light.

“I had a dream about the Lake last night,” she said. “But I thought it was just a dream.” Feeling like the fool Astra had called her, she hurried on to say, “I mean, I dreamt that I had a strange conversation with this entity that—it didn’t seem to make any sense, so I thought I made it up.”

Astra chuckled. “Since when did you get to decide that all creatures have to make sense? You don’t make sense all the time. You just said so. What does ‘make sense’ mean anyway, operate on human logic?”

Her cheeks washed with color. She muttered, “I’m newly reawakened to all this, remember?”

“I know, I know.” Still grinning, Astra shook her head. “Don’t mind me laughing at you. You managed not to jump in after it when it sang to you, like a lot of humans do when they hear the water spirits. They’re beautiful but eerily seductive. Half the time you can’t trust a word they say. Whatever the Lake coaxed out of you made it happy, so you did just fine.”

Mary stared at her, appalled. “You trusted it with our rescue?”

“I trusted it as much as you can trust any wild creature, to do what is in its own nature,” Astra said. She looked out over the water with a flash of calculation in her black eyes. “I figured you and Michael would end up either safely dead or back here. Turns out I was right.”

Mary threw her half-eaten piece of bacon in the fire. She snapped, “It creeps me out how you and Michael talk so casually of killing and dying. I like being alive, thank you very much. It’s taken me a lot of hard damn work to get here. I would appreciate it if you would treat my life with more respect.”

Astra looked at her, all amusement gone. “I do, you know,” she said. “In all the ways that really matter.”

She covered her face with her hands, breathing hard.

She forced herself to think of the difference between physical death and total dissolution. If they died, they could be reborn. If they were destroyed, they were gone forever. She remembered the keening noise that had come from Michael’s trapped spirit, a sound so unbearable she would do anything to avoid hearing it again.

“Okay,” she muttered. “Like I said, I’m still getting used to this. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Astra told her. “I’m too old and jaded. I’ve had this single goal in front of me, leading me around like some damned pillar of fire for so long I sometimes forget about other things that are also important. You’re right to remind me. All life is sacred.”

“Speaking of which,” Mary said. Astra’s attention sharpened on her, her black gaze hardening. “I promised Nicholas that I would see if there was anything I could do for his father as soon as I could.”

Astra hunched her thin shoulders in the shabby denim jacket. “Jerry is very sick.” She gave Mary a keen look. “Maybe you can do something to help him. It would be a blessing if you could. He’s an old friend and a good ally. But you also almost died a couple of times yesterday, and I know you’re running on empty. There’s no shame in admitting that it would be asking too much from you.”