Fall for Me (Danvers #3)(57)
He took a deep breath and hoped he didn’t scare her away. “So I know Suzy told you I went to see your parents today.” He felt her nodding against him and he continued. “I talked to your mom and dad for quite a while. I told them how damaging their comments on your weight have been to you. I also told them about our loss and, you may find this hard to believe, princess, but they were devastated.”
Beth jerked around to look at him. “No way. That’s not possible, Nick.”
“Honey, it is. It seems that my words to them that night at Suzy’s had gotten them thinking. I’m not saying that they have suddenly became Ward and June Cleaver, but they want to do better. I don’t think they really know how to be typical parents, so it may be a long road.”
“I don’t want to see them!” Beth said fiercely.
“I know, princess, and they aren’t going to push you. Let’s just file it away for another day, okay?”
He felt Beth relax against him. “They still insisted on calling me Nicholas or young man, though. Well, except for when I was leaving.”
Beth started giggling. “They were so glad to get rid of you that they slipped and said, ‘Good-bye, Nick’?”
Smiling, Nick said, “Nope. When I told them how much I loved their daughter, your father said, ‘Take care of my girl, son.’”
The room was deathly quiet and Beth had gone stiff in his arms. Maybe he should have tried a more romantic declaration of love. “He called you son?”
Nick pulled her around to face him. “You did catch the other part, right?”
Beth gave him an innocent smile, saying, “I don’t believe I did. Could you repeat it?”
He smiled at her indulgently as he said, “I love you, Beth Denton. Please be the woman by my side, the mother of my children, and the siren that I adore for the rest of our lives.”
Next, Nick pulled Beth on top of him and asked, “So, do you have anything to tell me, princess?”
Beth looked down at him just as her stomach growled. “I’m hungry?”
Nick dropped his arms in defeat. “Oh, God, I give up.”
Laughing, Beth lowered her lips to his and teased her tongue along his mouth’s seam. Just as his lips parted, she pulled back and said, “I love you, too, Nick. I was afraid I would never be able to admit that to you, or even to myself. But I do love you, so much. There is no one else on this earth that I would rather have as the father of my baby than you.”
Nick reached up and cradled her head with his hands to finish the kiss that she had started. Food was soon forgotten as they made up for the weeks they had been off course. Nick tried to take it slow but Beth urged him deep inside her as she wrapped her legs tightly around his hips. He was powerless to deny her anything and soon his hips were pumping in a hard rhythm. His heart melted as she told him several more times how much she loved him. Would he ever get tired of saying it or hearing it?
He now knew he had spent his whole life going from woman to woman never involving his heart because it was already taken. He was born to love this woman in his arms and to be the father of the child she carried . . . and all of the other children they would have. No matter where they were, she would always be home to him.
* * *
Beth snuggled against Nick as they ate a late dinner on the couch. She even turned on ESPN so he could watch football while they ate. She admitted that she had been hiding food in the couch. Nick paused with his slice of pizza hovering near his mouth. He dropped the pizza back to his plate and turned off the television. Pulling her onto his lap, he rested his forehead against hers. “Ah, baby, I had no idea. I wish you could have talked to me about what was going on in your head.”
A tear rolled down her cheek at the emotion in his voice. “Me too, but I couldn’t. It’s still hard. I . . . I have a problem, Nick. I would like to think that the trauma of what happened has cured me, but I can’t be sure. The fear has always been there just below the surface since I lost the weight. I could blame it on my parents, and they do deserve some of the blame, but not all of it.”
“Talk to me then, princess. Tell me why you feel the way you do because I see nothing but beauty regardless of what size you are.”
With a sniffle, Beth took a deep breath and admitted, “I’ve never liked myself. For a big part of my life, I was overweight and disgusted by the reflection in the mirror. I became so obsessed at avoiding mirrors that I only kept a small one to apply makeup. I avoided seeing my full body; it was too horrible. Finally, several years ago, I went to the mall to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding. The dressing room was made of floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Suddenly, I could no longer escape the person looking back at me. I begged out of my friend’s wedding and, from that moment on, I only ate enough to get by. There was nothing healthy about the diet I put myself on, but it worked. I lost the weight and I lost it fast. If I thought my parents were critical before, it got even worse. They badgered me about regaining weight. I completely stopped eating in front of them. I moved out of their house and got my own place just to escape their scrutiny.”
Nick rubbed her back and waited quietly for her to continue.
“I finally found a happy balance with food. I found if I exercised every day, I didn’t have to exist on just the bare minimum. No matter what number the scales showed though, I still cringed every time I stood in front of a mirror. I wore small clothing sizes, but I still felt like one meal could change that immediately. I have lived in terror of gaining back the weight—as my parents predicted—and of never regaining control.”