Fall for Me (Danvers #3)(54)
“So why did you think I was carrying twins?”
“Miss Denton, you were carrying twins. I’m afraid you have experienced what we call vanishing twin syndrome.”
Nick stood up, still holding Beth’s hand. “What exactly is that?” he demanded.
“It’s when two heartbeats and fetuses are detected on your first ultrasound, indicating twins, and on your next ultrasound visit, one no longer exists. Due to doctors requesting ultrasounds earlier in pregnancies, this is detected much more than it used to be.”
Beth sat forward and, in a panic, grabbed her stomach. “But where is my baby? How could it just not be there? It’s only been a month since my last appointment.”
The doctor laid a hand on her arm, trying to calm her down. “Miss Denton—Beth—since it was so early in your pregnancy, one twin was just reabsorbed by the other one. There is little evidence when this happens that the other twin ever existed, other than the first ultrasound.”
Choking back tears she asked, “Did I do something that caused this to happen?”
The doctor looked at her in sympathy and patted her hand again. “No, Beth, there is nothing you did that caused this to happen. The usual cause is a chromosomal defect. It’s nature’s rather harsh way of handling a pregnancy that isn’t viable.”
Seeing Beth’s agitation, Nick sat back down beside her and gripped her hand. “What about the remaining baby?” he asked. “Will Beth have problems with the pregnancy?”
“Everything looks perfectly normal with the baby you are carrying. Since the loss of the twin happened in your first trimester and you had no bleeding or cramping, there is no reason to believe that your pregnancy won’t continue on normally.” The doctor rose to her feet and said quietly, “I’m going to give you some privacy. When you’re ready, the nurse will bring you to my office and I can answer any other questions you might have. Please take all the time you need.”
When the door shut behind her, Nick helped Beth off the table and pulled her into his arms. She stood stiffly, unable to feel anything other than the darkness that was descending on her. Sensing her detachment, he pulled back to study her face. “Honey, it’s going to be all right. Let’s get through this and then we’ll go home.”
Beth turned vacant eyes on him and said, “I caused this. I’ve hid, lied, and avoided eating, and I starved one of my babies to death to keep from proving my parents right. I killed our baby, Nick. What kind of person does that? I was supposed to take care of them, but all I could think about was myself. What kind of mother does that? You should hate me; I hate myself.”
She saw Nick’s face pale as he started shaking his head in denial. “Stop it. You didn’t do this. You heard what the doctor said—this happens so much it has a name. Don’t do this to yourself. Let’s go talk to the doctor and she can tell you that you didn’t cause this.”
Beth pulled her arm out of his grip and walked to the door. “I’m not going to talk to the doctor; I’m going to the car. You can go if you want to. Hurry, though. We need to eat on the way home. I’m not going to starve my last baby, like I did my other one.”
“Beth . . . princess.” Seeing that there was nothing he could say at this point that would get through to her, Nick handed her his car keys and told her he would be out after he talked with the doctor. As she walked out the door, he slumped back into the seat.
* * *
Nick dropped his head as tension raced through his body. “Fuck!” What in the hell had just happened? He had barely recovered from the shock of finding out they were no longer having twins when Beth threw him for an even bigger loop. The blank look on her face threw him more than the doctor’s words had. She truly believed that she had killed one of their babies. The look on her face went beyond grief. It was the look of someone who had become their own judge, jury, and executioner. She had found herself guilty of something so heinous that she couldn’t deal with it without shutting down.
He knew in that moment that pushing her to voice her fears to the doctor was hopeless. At this point, she wouldn’t believe a word that anyone said. He should probably be grateful that she mentioned breakfast, but somehow that only made things more eerie. Someone in a normal frame of mind would be too upset to think of food. For Beth to want to eat now, after what had just happened, gave credence to her belief that she had starved her baby to death.
Getting to his feet, he opened the door and followed the nurse to the doctor’s office. She probably assumed that Beth would be coming back to accompany him, but he didn’t see the need to explain it to her. He would tell the doctor about Beth’s eating problems and, hopefully, get some reassurances from her that it had not affected the babies. At this point, he would never admit anything otherwise to Beth. Whether the doctor knew it or not, Beth was so fragile that one more blow might break her, and that was something that he could never allow to happen, even if he had to save her from herself.
When he left the doctor’s office and settled in the car beside a still-quiet Beth, he, at least, had answers that he could share with her when she was ready to listen to them. He would give her a few days to deal with her grief. They both needed that. He was more upset than he could have imagined. Somewhere along the way, he had gotten very possessive of Beth and the babies and it was a huge blow to realize that there were no longer two babies. Yeah, he could give her a few days, but after that, she was going to listen to him. After they had a meal that he no longer had any desire for and after Beth was settled, he would call Suzy to get her support, too.