Existence (Existence Trilogy #1)(22)
I ran my hands up his chest, hoping to hold onto him a little while longer and pretend I really was safe. His hands slipped into my hair and tilted my head back as he took the kiss deeper. I drank him in. I needed this sense of normalcy. This false sense of security. Leif was real and represented all things secure. I needed that connection to the world. I needed what he offered right now. However, dancing dangerously in the back of my mind, were thoughts of another mouth, which seemed to stir things much wilder inside of me. A craving that represented all the things I feared. I closed my eyes tighter, trying to fight off the desire to have Dank’s arms pulling me close, his perfectly sculpted lips against mine. This was safe. Leif was healthy for me.
He broke the kiss and pulled back only a little and his breathing, I realized, was ragged, unlike mine. He appeared dazed. “That was even better than I’d imagined,” he said breathlessly. The familiar twinge of guilt I’d been dealing with since Dank had gotten under my skin reminded me this was the right choice.
“Okay, you two either need to get a freakin’ room or come up for air so we can go get some food. I’m starving.” Wyatt’s teasing voice broke into the little world we’d been lost in among the throngs of people.
Leif winked at me and slipped his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s eat,” he said, grinning like a little boy who’d just been given candy. I’d clung to him because of what he represented in my life not because I desired him, but I pushed it out of my mind. Thinking about it just made the guilt worse.
* * * *
“After tonight’s game I don’t see how the scouts can keep away,” Wyatt said, grinning across the booth from Leif and me.
Leif chuckled. “One game won’t bring down the college scouts, you know that.”
Wyatt lifted a French fry to his mouth. “A couple more like that one and they will descend,” he said, sure of himself.
Leif’s thumb rubbed my hand. He’d started holding my hand whenever we were together. It was sweet.
“Oh, gag, did they have to come here? I mean, really, why doesn’t he just take octopus-girl to a hotel and let us eat in peace?” Miranda said in an annoyed voice as she flashed a knowing look my way. I glanced over to see Dank walk in the door with a very clingy Kendra at his side. I reached for my soda and decided to study the business cards placed under the Plexiglas on top of the table.
“I think the only way she can get any closer to him is if she wraps her legs around him and he is forced to carry her.” Miranda said in a disgusted tone.
Wyatt chuckled. “Alright, Miranda, leave the poor girl alone. It looks like the rock star has his hands full with keeping her from mauling him. He doesn’t need you making snide comments.” Miranda giggled and leaned over and laid her head on Wyatt’s shoulder.
“Mauling? I like that one. Wish I’d thought of it.” Wyatt shook his head as he crammed another fry into his grinning mouth.
Leif sighed. “She has issues that make her act like she does.” I stared up at him and realized he seemed concerned rather than amused.
Miranda rolled her eyes. “You would know. You dated her for like three years.”
Leif gazed down at me. “Yes, I did, but only because the one girl I wanted seemed to dislike me so completely.” I smiled and squeezed his hand. “I was stupid.” It was true. Getting to know Leif had taught me that judging others wasn’t only wrong but it caused you to miss out on friendships with special people.
His eyes got serious and he leaned down and stopped right before his lips touched mine. “You’re brilliant. Maybe a little slow on the uptake, but brilliant nonetheless.” His lips touched mine gently. Again, I felt safe. A deep growl startled me and I pulled back, staring up at Leif to see if he’d been growling. The confused frown on his face told me it hadn’t been him. His thumb brushed across my bottom lip and the growling started up again. It definitely wasn’t Leif making the animal noises. “You okay?” he asked softly.
“Sorry, I thought you said something.” I explained, forcing a smile. He grinned and dropped his hand from my face. The growling subsided and I glanced around the room.
Dank sat in a corner booth beside Kendra, who appeared to be talking excitedly to another cheerleader beside them. His dark eyes watched me with a possessive gleam. It’d been him. He’d growled. How was he doing that? I could feel Miranda watching me and I didn’t want her asking me any more questions. I turned back to my food and forced a French fry into my mouth. Leif and Wyatt had resumed talking about the game, so I had time to get my focus back on my friends and off Dank. Leif leaned back against the booth and released my hand, slipping his behind my shoulders and then gently pulled me against him.
Miranda smiled. “So, when are we going to go pick out our dresses for the Homecoming Dance?” she asked me. I frowned at her. Leif and I hadn’t talked about the Homecoming Dance. We were dating exclusively but he hadn’t said anything about taking me to the dance. I’d already decided to stay home and watch old movies and eat popcorn that night. Miranda flicked her eyes from me to Leif a few times as if assessing the situation.
“You’ve asked her right?” she asked with an annoyed tone. Leif turned his head and gazed down at me.
“I just assumed that it was understood. Was I supposed to ask?” The concerned frown on his face was adorable. I smiled up at him, hoping to reassure him. I didn’t like to upset him. He seemed so emotionally tender.