Ecstasy Untamed (Feral Warriors #6)(70)

"No. As much as they cared for me, they didn't believe I could know such a thing. They didn't leave in time."

"I'm sorry." Hawke slid his arm across her upper chest, pulling her firmly against him, anchoring her back in the here and now. "Your leader should be staked and left for the draden for leaving a fifteen-year-old child behind."

She curled her fingers lightly around his forearm as she tilted her head forward and pressed a kiss to his bare skin. "He did what he had to do to ensure the safety of the enclave."

"He could have left someone to wait for you."

"That wasn't his way. He was a rigid man, cold and unbending. They all were."

"You had parents among them?"

"Technically. My mother had little to do with me. And she neither knew nor cared which of the males was my father."

"Others raised you."

"Others fed me, clothed me. I raised myself." She shrugged. "I'd intended to leave them as soon as I was of age, anyway. Circumstances left me on my own a few years early, is all."

"Ten years." He groaned. "It shouldn't have happened, Faith. You were their responsibility."

"They were cold people, Hawke. They cared for no one and nothing but themselves. I didn't understand that at the time. It took years."

"But you care. About others."

"Yes. Humans aren't so different from us. Their bodies are fragile and don't last long, but the hearts and minds and souls that inhabit them are the same as ours. To believe we're better than them is a mistake. We're stronger, yes. But we should use that strength to help them. Not use them to help ourselves."

His chin brushed the top of her head. "I agree."

Her tension drained away with the certainty he understood. She heard it in the tone of his voice and sank back against him. "It was humans who helped me and protected me during those attacks on my village. The same humans I watched die all around me. When it was over, only a few of us had survived, and we banded together. A handful of kids who'd lost everything and everyone. The others weren't Therian, they weren't immortal, but it didn't matter. We became a family, scavenging for food and warmth. We survived.

"I soon realized that there were always kids who were lost and alone, not just during wartime. Runaways. Throwaways. Orphans with no one to protect them. Kids who needed me. After a while, they died or grew up and moved away. Soon, I found myself moving every year or two to another country, another city, and starting over again, finding new kids who needed help. The moving was easy enough since I was born with a gift for language."

"Did you ever find your people?"

She blinked, opened her mouth to tell him she hadn't been looking for them, then shut it again. Of course she had. Not actively, perhaps, but every time she moved, a secret part of her had hoped she'd find them.

"No." It didn't matter, yet even she could hear the sadness in that word.

She felt the quiet sympathy in the brush of his chin and the gentle squeeze of his arms.

"I'm sorry, Faith."

"I'm not. It's a good life, a worthwhile life." She swallowed. "It's where I belong."

He stiffened, releasing her, turning her to face him. "That's where you're wrong." His eyes blazed with soft intensity. "It's not where you belong. Those selfish idiots that gave birth to you and raised you should be strung up by their heels for what they did to you. Not only leaving you behind but making you believe that you weren't worth their time. That you weren't worth anyone's. It's not true." She tried to look away, but he wouldn't let her. "It's not true, Faith. You're worth more than every one of them combined. You're worthy of being chosen a Feral Warrior, one of the greatest honors any Therian can be given." He gripped her face gently in his hands. "I wish you believed that."

"I can't. Because I know I was marked in error."

"No. You don't. At this point, we don't know anything for sure. Except that you're strong and fine and good." He kissed her. "And beautiful." He kissed her again. "And sexy."

She laughed. "Now, that's important."

He smiled, his eyes growing heavy-lidded and sexy as hell. "It's a bonus. For me. Only for me." He kissed her again, this time for keeps, pulling her into his arms, sweeping his tongue into her mouth. That quickly, passion ignited, the kiss turning hot and desperate.

"We need to do this indoors," he whispered against her temple. "I need to be inside you."

Damp heat flooded her body, and she nodded, turning willingly as he tucked her against his side and started back to the house. Love welled up inside her, overflowing, drenching her heart with warmth and beauty. She wished there was something she could do to help him recover from whatever the spirit trap had done to him. At the very least, she'd do as he wanted - learn to fight, work to be the best Feral Warrior she could be. And when her time came, she'd do her best to die a hero's death.

Despite Tighe's and Fox's kindness and encouragement, she knew that Hawke was the only one who truly believed she was meant to be one of them. And only because he loved her and couldn't stand the thought of the alternative. For both their sakes, he was fooling himself, trying to make her into something she could never be.