Ecstasy Untamed (Feral Warriors #6)(69)

Fox and Tighe turned away, Tighe clasping Fox's shoulder as they headed back into the house.

Faith looked up at Hawke and found him watching her with a look of pride in his eyes that lifted her spirits more than Tighe's and Fox's words combined. "You did great," he said softly.

She rolled her eyes. "I did terribly. I couldn't kill a balloon if you held it still for me."

He chuckled, and she stepped forward and curled her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his chest. His chin brushed her hair. "Fox is right," he said. "More than anything, you need to start believing, Faith. Believe that you were meant to be marked. That you can do this. Even if you turn into a mouse."

She jerked back, peering up into his face. "A mouse?"

He chuckled, setting butterflies to flight in her chest. "That one's a joke. I think." His hands framed her face, and he watched her with so much tenderness in his eyes, she thought she might melt beneath it. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

Her heart sang at his words, tears pricking her eyes. "I think I do. Maybe almost as much as I love you. But I almost wish you wouldn't. Your loving me scares me, Hawke. What if I turn into the enemy?"

He stroked her hair. "You're not going to turn into the enemy. And I couldn't stop loving you if I tried. There's so much good in you, Smiley. You're strong, you're giving, you're sweet. Your smile lights me up inside like a dozen suns, and your kiss turns me to putty. You're worth every risk. Any risk."

She was stunned by his words, humbled. And deeply moved. The love she felt for him swelled until she thought it would consume her.

He kissed her, his fingers sliding into her hair, his lips lingering, brushing over hers, the touch sparking an instant fire inside her. He groaned, sliding his tongue into her mouth, one hand gliding down her back to press her hips tight against him. Kissing her temple, he murmured, "You're going to be a valuable member of the Feral team, Faith. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to see to that. You'll have a purpose here. A home. No matter what happens."

She pulled back to stare up into his face. "What do you mean, 'no matter what happens'?"

A shadow passed over his features, his eyes troubled. "Nothing." He tried to kiss her, to end the discussion, but she turned her cheek, avoiding him.

"Tell me what you meant, Hawke."

He sighed and shrugged. "Nothing. I just . . . I don't know what the spirit trap did to me. I know it damaged me. And the damage is getting worse."

"You're supposed to be getting better. You're immortal."

"I know." A look of resignation crossed his face.

"No, Hawke. You can't tell me I'm going to succeed against all odds, yet give up yourself. While you're finding a cure for me, how about finding one for what's happening to you, too?"

His mouth tightened. "We've tried everything."

"Then try something else," she snapped, then covered her mouth, ashamed of herself. Her anger crumbled beneath the caress of gentle eyes. "I just found you. I don't want to lose you." Her voice cracked on the last.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close within the shadows of the trees. The scent of flowers and new grass, of spring's rich promise, felt wrong somehow, in direct counterpoint to their talk of death and loss.

"Even if the worst happens, you won't be alone this time, Smiley."

"I haven't been that alone."

"No?" He peered down at her. "Have you lived with an enclave since you lost your own? Have you ever lived with anyone other than the occasional street kid who needed a place to sleep for a while?"

She shrugged. "I'm fine that way."

"No. You're not. I can see the loneliness in your eyes." He stroked her hair. "Why didn't you go with your enclave that day when the warning came that your village was about to be attacked?"

"It was a long time ago, Hawke."

"I want to know what happened. It's part of who you are."

She pulled away, turning to look out over the woods, reluctant to go back there, to that time, to that day, even though . . . so little had actually happened. When he pulled her back against him, she relaxed, looking up at the canopy above, and told him.

"We were living in Belgium early in the First World War. One of the Therians in our enclave was particularly gifted at clouding the minds of humans and getting the information he wanted from them. He'd been out scouting and came upon a German who told him that they were planning an imminent attack on the human village where we lived. The Therian raced back to warn the enclave. My best friend, a human, lived in that town. It was her father who used to call me Smiley. He'd shown me more patience and kindness than anyone in my enclave, and I'd often pretended he was my real father. I begged our leader to give me an hour so that I could warn them, but he said no. I went anyway."

"They didn't wait." Hawke's tone as his chin settled on her crown was heavy with understanding.

"No. On some level, I think I'd known they wouldn't. In my youth, I said good riddance, but . . ." She shook her head. The horrors of the attack and the days that followed were something that she would never forget.

"Were you able to save your friends?"