Eclipse (Twilight #3)(122)
"Don't say that. You know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry it's not in the way you want, but that's just how it is. You're my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are . . . when you let your guard down."
He smiled the old smile that I loved. "I'm always that," he promised. "Even when I don't . . . behave as well as I should. Underneath, I'm always in here."
"I know. Why else would I put up with all of your crap?"
He laughed with me, and then his eyes were sad. "When are you finally going to figure out that you're in love with me, too?"
"Leave it to you to ruin the moment."
"I'm not saying you don't love him. I'm not stupid. But it's possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I've seen it in action."
"I'm not some freaky werewolf, Jacob."
He wrinkled his nose, and I was about to apologize for that last jab, but he changed the subject.
"We're not far now, I can smell him."
I sighed in relief.
He misinterpreted my meaning. "I'd happily slow down, Bella, but you're going to want to be under shelter before that hits."
We both looked up at the sky.
A solid wall of purple-black cloud was racing in from the west, blackening the forest beneath it as it came.
"Wow," I muttered. "You'd better hurry, Jake. You'll want to get home before it gets here."
"I'm not going home."
I glared at him, exasperated. "You're not camping with us."
"Not technically - as in, sharing your tent or anything. I prefer the storm to the smell. But I'm sure your bloodsucker will want to keep in touch with the pack for coordination purposes, and so I will graciously provide that service."
"I thought that was Seth's job."
"He'll take over tomorrow, during the fight."
The reminder silenced me for a second. I stared at him, worry springing up again with sudden fierceness. "I don't suppose there's any way you'd just stay since you're already here?" I suggested. "If I did beg? Or trade back the lifetime of servitude or something?"
"Tempting, but no. Then again, the begging might be interesting to see. You can give it a go if you like."
"There's really nothing, nothing at all I can say?"
"Nope. Not unless you can promise me a better fight. Anyway, Sam's calling the shots, not me."
That reminded me.
"Edward told me something the other day . . . about you."
He bristled. "It's probably a lie."
"Oh, really? You aren't second in command of the pack, then?"
He blinked, his face going blank with surprise. "Oh. That."
"How come you never told me that?"
"Why would I? It's no big thing."
"I don't know. Why not? It's interesting. So, how does that work? How did Sam end up as the Alpha, and you as the . . . the Beta?"
Jacob chuckled at my invented term. "Sam was the first, the oldest. It made sense for him to take charge."
I frowned. "But shouldn't Jared or Paul be second, then? They were the next to change."
"Well . . . it's hard to explain," Jacob said evasively.
"Try."
He sighed. "It's more about the lineage, you know? Sort of old-fashioned. Why should it matter who your grandpa was, right?"
I remembered something Jacob had told me a long time ago, before either of us had known anything about werewolves.
"Didn't you say that Ephraim Black was the last chief the Quileutes had?"
"Yeah, that's right. Because he was the Alpha. Did you know that, technically, Sam's the chief of the whole tribe now?" He laughed. "Crazy traditions."
I thought about that for a second, trying to make all the pieces fit. "But you also said that people listened to your dad more than anyone else on the council, because he was Ephraim's grandson?"
"What about it?"
"Well, if it's about the lineage . . . shouldn't you be the chief, then?"
Jacob didn't answer me. He stared into the darkening forest, as if he suddenly needed to concentrate on where he was going.
"Jake?"
"No. That's Sam's job." He kept his eyes on our pathless course.
"Why? His great-granddad was Levi Uley, right? Was Levi an Alpha, too?"
"There's only one Alpha," he answered automatically.
"So what was Levi?"
"Sort of a Beta, I guess." He snorted at my term. "Like me."
"That doesn't make sense."
"It doesn't matter."
"I just want to understand."
Jacob finally met my confused gaze, and then sighed. "Yeah. I was supposed to be the Alpha."
My eyebrows pulled together. "Sam didn't want to step down?"
"Hardly. I didn't want to step up."
"Why not?"
He frowned, uncomfortable with my questions. Well, it was his turn to feel uncomfortable.
"I didn't want any of it, Bella. I didn't want anything to change. I didn't want to be some legendary chief. I didn't want to be part of a pack of werewolves, let alone their leader. I wouldn't take it when Sam offered."