Death Wish (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #5)(20)

This was the first time Shaz had heard about the hit. He paled but said little, nodding thoughtfully as I spoke. Arys’s temper quickly flared, and a muscle in his jaw twitched.

“You shouldn’t have gotten involved with the dreamwalker, Alexa. You can do nothing for him. Hell, you can’t even keep yourself out of trouble.”

“What?” I stared at him, unable to believe what I was hearing. “That’s what you focus on out of everything I’ve said?”

Arys looked annoyed. “This is demon stuff you’re messing with. Shya isn’t going to put up with any shit. If he wants the kid, he’ll have him. You have bigger problems, like almost taking a bolt to the head.”

“I can’t help but wonder what things would have been like for me if Shya and Veryl hadn’t lured me in. I can’t stand by while they do it to someone else. Don’t make me feel bad about that.” It wasn’t worth arguing with him, but my feelings on this were valid.

Arys scowled. “I don’t want to lose you. Why must you hold that against me?”

“You know I don’t. But, this is my life, and I’m tired of having it manipulated by others. I can make my own decisions. They may not be the best ones, but they are mine to make.”

“The dreamwalker’s life is not yours to save.” Arys’s tone was low and smooth but deadly. “You won’t be any help to him or anybody else if you’re dead. Or worse. I don’t control you and neither does Shya. If you want to run around alone taunting people to take a shot at you, go right ahead. Maybe f**king up a few too many times will cure you from your insane obsession with death.”

“Don’t be a dick, Arys,” I warned. I looked at him through wolf eyes, staring intently until he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

We faced off across the living room, adversaries in the heat of the moment. Arys brought out my feisty, defensive nature like nobody else. I think we both enjoyed the conflict; we fed off the fire.

“So, if you guys are done,” Shaz broke in. “Well, even if you’re not done, I’d like to state for the record that I think finding out who has a hit out on Lex is more important than arguing about whether or not she can take care of herself. I think she’s more than capable.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly. His support meant a lot, but it would have meant more if he hadn’t just been getting his rocks off with someone else. It wasn’t fair of me to think like that.

Arys smirked and Shaz gave him a derogatory look. It still astounded me how much Shaz had changed since we’d first met. I tried to pinpoint exactly when he’d matured from a frightened teenager to the Alpha wolf he now was. Had one specific event brought it forth, or was it always there beneath the surface? The years had gone by so fast. So much had changed, including us.

“I can’t let myself be intimidated by an ass**le with a crossbow. I caught that damn thing, Arys. Inches from my face.” I refused to let him plant the seed of worry. “I know I’m not invincible, but I have power, and I’m finally learning how to use it.”

“We’ll find out who it is,” Arys declared. “But in the meantime, all I ask is that you be careful. Don’t be so reckless.”

He was hiding something, some thought or fear. There had been a time when Arys considered my ties to the human world to be little more than an inconvenience. What had changed?

The vampire looked between Shaz and me, contemplating. “As long as you’re here, pup, there’s something else you should know.”

“What?” Shaz was immediately suspicious.

I shook my head and shot Arys a warning glare that he ignored. Keeping his gaze on Shaz, he told him all about the journal and the twin flame revelation. Hearing the twin flame information repeated didn’t make it any easier to swallow. If anything, it was harder because I was coming to accept it as true.

My white wolf looked devastated. He sat heavily on the end of the couch, staring at the floor. “So it’s not just circumstance. You’re really part of him.”

I knew what he was thinking. He was wrong. I exchanged a look with Arys. He must have seen the helplessness in my eyes.

“Don’t miss the point, pup,” he said. “Alexa and I are halves of a whole, but we were never meant to exist together. Not without a reason. And, the odds of us finding out what that reason is before our bond destroys us are slim.”

When Shaz looked up, he had a heartbreaking weariness in his eyes. “I think I knew. Somewhere deep down inside, I knew it would be him.”

“It isn’t like that.” I went to him, grasping his hand desperately. “I always said you balance out what he does to me. It’s true. I need you.”

I truly did. Shaz had always been my source of comfort, my wolf, the one who made me feel like I belonged somewhere. I had always felt that he was just as much a part of me as Arys was.

“I am a danger to her, Shaz. It’s you that grounds her.” Arys’s expression betrayed nothing, though his tone held a somber note. “We’re bonded outside the natural scheme of things. If I’d remained mortal, I never would have known her. But, you still would have.”

Shaz let out the breath he’d been holding. “This is a lot to process. It’s just so… huge.” He turned intense wolf eyes on Arys. “Why the hell did you wait so long to tell her?”