Darkness Avenged (Guardians of Eternity #10)(47)

At the time she’d been relieved to have someone explain what and who she was. But that relief hadn’t lasted long.

“He returned for me once he realized I could be of use.”

Santiago’s features hardened. “I can imagine.”

“Yes, I’m fairly certain you can,” she said softly, struck by a sudden revelation that he was one of the few who truly could understand.

Was that why she felt so drawn to him? Because they shared similar scars from their past?

Well, that and the fact that he was insanely gorgeous, sexy, powerful, and fiercely loyal.

“Nefri?” he prompted, frowning in confusion.

“I wasn’t placed in the pits,” she said, turning to glance down the shadowed hallway. More to hide her expression than to make sure they were alone. Although the fear swirling through the air was muted as Melinda remained in a deep sleep, it was still potent enough to prevent any unwelcome trespassers. “But I was trained to become a weapon for my clan chief.”

“You defended the clan?” he easily guessed.

She nodded. “When we were being attacked, but more often I was used in our battles to conquer other clans.”

Santiago muttered in sympathy as he cupped her face in his hands, gently urging her head back to meet his searching gaze. In that moment, Nefri’s earlier speculations of why she found this man so fascinating were instantly dismissed.

Yes, he was gorgeous and sexy and loyal. And yes, they both had suffered.

But it was his swift empathy that truly touched her heart.

What other vampire would so easily understand that far from taking pride in her battle prowess, she was horrified by what she’d done?

“You were forced to kill?”

Disjointed memories of bloody battles and mangled corpses flared through her mind, making her wince. “More times than I can count.”

His fingers skimmed down her throat, his touch offering a blessed comfort. “It’s no wonder you’re so desperate for peace.”

She knew she should push away his hand. His ability to offer her a sense of safety was as dangerously alluring as his potent sensuality.

Instead, she leaned into his lingering touch.

Foolish.

So very foolish.

“That wasn’t even the worst,” she said, the ancient pain a dull throb that never truly went away.

He scowled. “You don’t have to go on.”

“No, please.” She stiffened her spine. She knew herself all too well. If he allowed her to scurry behind her defensive walls, then she’d never crawl back out. “Let me finish.”

He gave a slow dip of his head. “Okay.”

“The fighting was something I learned to endure, simply because I had no choice.”

“Survival can be a bitch,” he said. He, of course, understood exactly what she meant.

“Yes.”

His thumb rubbed the sensitive hollow just below her ear. “What was your breaking point?”

“When my chief started hiring me out as a weapon for other clans.”

“He pimped you out?” He made a sound of disgust, although it hadn’t been unusual in the past for the chiefs to use their people for profit, whether it was as soldiers, whores, or just for sport.

“I was always available to the highest bidder,” she said. “No matter what they wanted me to do.”

He shook his head, his thumb stroking the line of her tightly clenched jaw. “It wasn’t your fault, cara,” he murmured. “You were at the mercy of a man consumed by greed and ambition.”

“It didn’t matter if it was my fault or not. The outcome was the same.”

Accepting he wasn’t going to be able to convince her that she was blameless, he studied her with a brooding gaze. “What did you do?”

“I bided my time and when I felt prepared I entered the battles of Durotriges to become a clan chief.” She didn’t have to say that she’d nearly died during her trials, or that she’d been forever altered by staring death in the face over and over. Only a small percentage of vampires went into the battles and came out the other side. It was accepted that they would gain a greater appreciation for life. Their own and others. Which made them particularly suited to becoming a clan chief. “I wasn’t ever going to be a weapon for anyone again.”

“And never out of control again, eh, querida?”

She nodded. Being stronger than every creature around her had taught her the danger of giving in to her emotions.

“When I become angry or frightened the people around me end up dead.” She shivered. “Sometimes a lot of people.”

The dark gaze swept over her upturned face. “And so you created a clan dedicated to peace?”

“Yes.” She smiled wryly. It had seemed so simple. She knew there had to be like-minded vampires who wanted to build an oasis of peace. The only rub was finding someplace where they could be safe from the demons who would take their desire for tranquility as a sign of weakness. They had to be protected. “And I went to the Commission to discover if there was a place where we could be separated from the violence of this world.”

“That’s when they sent you beyond the Veil?”

She lifted her hand, her fingers brushing over the golden medallion that remained warm to the touch no matter what the temperature. “With the assistance of this.”