Colters' Gift (Colters' Legacy #5)(41)

“You’re scaring me,” she said.

Noah immediately stopped his pacing and then pulled her into a fierce hug.

“I’m sorry. Sit down and we’ll talk.”

He guided her toward the couch and then took the seat next to her. Liam hunkered down into the armchair, but his expression hadn’t eased.

Noah ran a hand through his hair. “We made some calls today. Just trying to discreetly get some information. We have to be careful with who we trust because of what you’ve said about Joel having people on his payroll.”

She nodded.

“The thing is, the whole reason we found out about Joel and that you’d . . . misled us in the beginning was because we talked to a woman who I’m guessing is one of his girls.”

“She knew about me?” Lauren whispered.

“She knew enough that you and Joel were an item. She ID’d your photo and told us who Joel was. But she clammed up after that. Didn’t want anything to do with us. That’s when we came here to confront you with what we’d learned.”

“So what’s wrong now?” she asked with a frown. “I don’t understand. Does he know where I am?”

“She’s dead,” Liam said bluntly.

All the blood drained from Lauren’s face, and she swayed. Beside her, Noah cursed and wrapped his arm around her to steady her.

“Damn it, Liam,” Noah growled.

“What happened to her?” Lauren whispered.

“I spoke to a buddy of ours who’s a detective at NYPD. We took a risk, but we feel he’s trustworthy. In the course of our conversation, he informed us that this woman was found dead in her apartment. Someone beat her to death. It wasn’t pretty. Time of death puts it a day after we spoke to her in her apartment.”

“Oh God,” Lauren moaned. She put her face in her hands, Noah’s words echoing over and over in her mind.

“It doesn’t mean he knows where you are,” Liam said. “What it means, though, is that he likely knows we were asking questions about you and Joel Knight.”

“She died because of me,” Lauren said bleakly.

“Bullshit,” Liam bit out.

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I could have prevented this. It should have never happened.”

Noah took her shoulders in his hands and turned her to face him. His expression was hard and focused. “How was it your fault, Lauren? Is there something you’re not telling us? Now is not the time to be holding back anything. If you have information, then we need to goddamn well know about it.”

She shook away his hands and stood. “Please. Just leave me alone for a minute. God, I need to think.”

Without waiting for a response, she bolted from the living room into her bedroom. She closed the door and leaned heavily against it, her heart beating like the roar of a freight train.

Then she flew to the bed and lifted the mattress, reaching her hand frantically underneath it, reaching for the small memory card she’d taped to the underside.

She tore at it, the tape finally giving away. The plastic chip fell into her hand and she shakily peeled the tape away, staring at it in her palm.

Oh God. This was her fault. That woman had died because Lauren hadn’t had the courage to do what she should have done. How many other women had suffered because Lauren had only wanted to escape and to forget Joel Knight ever existed? And how selfish did it make her that she’d been so wrapped up in her own survival that she hadn’t given a single thought to women she could have protected and saved?

Poor little Lauren. So helpless and naïve. So damn stupid. This time she wouldn’t shake off the blame and tell herself that she’d made mistakes and that everyone made them. She couldn’t say that everything would be all right if she’d only had a fresh start and could forget her past.

Her past was there. Unchangeable. No matter how much she might wish differently. And it was affecting the lives of others. Her own. The women Joel used and abused. Murdered.

Revulsion gripped her.

She could have prevented this if she’d only been willing to stand up and do the right thing.

How ashamed would her family be? The Colters were all about doing the right thing. Standing up against injustice. They’d offered her unconditional support, but what had she offered them except lies and deception? What had she offered the women left to Joel’s abuse and mistreatment?

How could she ever look them in the eye again?

She looked down again at the disk in her hand and she closed her fingers, gripping the plastic card until it cut into her palm.

It was time to get her damn head out of the sand. Joel wasn’t going away. He wasn’t going to stop what he was doing until someone stood up and took him down.

No matter how terrified she was or how ashamed, it was time for her to be willing to bring him to justice. Even if it meant risking her own life to do it.

How could she move on with Liam and Noah, or immerse herself in the Colter family and surround herself with their support and her brother’s support if she knew it was at the expense of so many other women?

There was no future for her until she laid her past to rest. And there was no way to put her past behind her until she faced her demons and had the courage to do what it was she needed to do. What she had to do.

Chapter 18

LIAM stared at Lauren’s closed door, worry gnawing a hole in his gut. He glanced at Noah to see his friend’s expression wasn’t any better.