Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3)(120)

“You were trying for this?” He wasn’t accusing her, he wanted verification.

Krista smiled, pleased with his obvious delight.

His smile flickered brighter, the corners tugging upwards. “For how long?” The words came out in a breathy gush, his joy was barely contained in the confines of his body.

“Well, I stopped taking contraception two months ago. Or so. Maybe three. Surprise!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Krista shrugged and looked out over the ocean. “There were too many unknowns. I just wanted to see if it would happen. I knew you were in so I just…went with it.”

“You don’t seem as thrilled as I am…”

It occurred to her how this all looked to Sean. He was worried about her, worried that something was wrong, thinking it might be him. He gets home to a positive pregnancy test. He is elated, but then worries she is unhappy because she got a nasty surprise. He had been a nasty surprise. His life was lived in the shadow of that surprise and it never lost its taint. Suddenly his hope was dripping with fear that Krista hated the life they had created.

It was pretty heavy.

She got up and went to him immediately. She went to plop on his lap, but was received with velvet gloves. He was already handling her like a fragile vase.

“Honestly, I’m scared. It was sudden, kinda. I thought it would take longer. And it is a big deal. I can’t drink, I have to take it easy—I mean, life is going to completely change for us, Sean. We have it good. We have it great, actually. But what if I get all stretch-marky and fat and ugly? What if my body never bounces back? And a baby puts strain on even the best marriages.

“And then there is the labor. All that pain. What about the lack of sleep? I won’t have a clue as to what I am doing, Sean. Not a clue. I don’t know anything about babies. What if I screw it up? What if I ruin its life forever?”

Sean hugged her gently. “If my parents didn’t screw me up, we’ll be fine. And we’ve had strain in our relationship before, love—we always make it through. We will always make it through. You can’t control everything, so stop trying. Let life happen.”

Krista laughed and snuggled into his warmth. “Let life happen? Did you find that stenciled on a napkin or something?”

“No, a pillow, but it was a goodie.”

After a few minutes of cuddling, Krista had to lay down the law. “You can’t tell anyone until three months.”

“Why?” Sean was heartbroken already.

“There is a 12.5% chance I will miscarry. After three months, that number dramatically reduces.”

“What, did you look that up or something? Who has statistics on stuff like that?”

“You married a statistician, darling. Although, I am young and in great shape and healthy—my chances might be lower. But still, it’s best to keep that in mind. And if it does happen, it’s okay because it meant that something wasn’t right. We’ll just try again at that point.”

“Okay,” Sean sighed. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, McAdams. I might become a raging bitch. Hormones will probably eat me alive.”

Sean shrugged. “I’ll do whatever I can to support you through this, Krista. Please believe that.”

“You better. Also, if you are up to it, a few of our friends are getting the grill fired up for a celebratory BBQ.”

Sean smiled. “I thought we couldn’t tell people?”

“It’s just Marcus and Ben and everyone those two would tell anyway. Cassie will be along shortly, she is trying to get pregnant at the moment.”

“Gross. Let’s cuddle for a second longer and then go, okay?”

“Okay.”

Sean proved he was serious about helping Krista through it. He made her soup during the month of morning sickness—which was not just reserved for the morning, it lasted all day. He rubbed her belly, he rubbed her feet, and he made her lunches and dinners. He massaged her back when she got bigger, and came to her office for their one-on-one meetings. He even had leisurely strolls with her along the beach after he had his harder workouts. He did everything but quit drinking. She tried to get him to do that, too, since not having her glass of wine with dinner, or a beer with the girls, was unreal hard (misery loves company) but he just smirked and said he failed her.

Chapter Thirty-Five

And here she was. Forty-one weeks from conception. A week late and labor pains to show for it. She was on maternity leave, so Sean had no idea she was in active labor.

Yes, she should have called.

But in reality, he’d just freak out and insist they go to the hospital immediately. He wouldn’t understand that the hospital would only admit people after a certain point in their labor—and she wasn’t there yet—so it would be a constant argument she didn’t feel like having. Instead, she was enjoying a nice glass of white wine and looking out at the ocean. She figured a little alcohol wasn’t going to phase the baby now, no matter what study you ran, so she let her body relax and the pain rise and fall in gentle waves.

A while and harsher pain later, Krista decided she might want to get the show on the road. The pain was slightly more intense and the ocean waves were no longer calming. In fact, they reminded her of the pain. She knew that walking would help speed up labor, as would various other exercises she learned during her horrid breathing classes. Walking was the easiest without a partner, though, so she got up and headed for the door.