Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3)(115)

Sean didn’t say anything. He just stared at her.

She tried again. “Um…How did you find me?”

Sean’s gaze wavered for a brief second then glued back on. “I got the hotel name from Jasmine. I checked in at the bar to see if anyone had seen you. I met your…friend. He said which beach he recommended.”

By the way he said friend, Krista could tell he didn’t think much of the connection.

“I had to talk to somebody, Sean. I didn’t do anything with him, if that’s your worry.”

“It wasn’t my worry, Krista,” he answered quietly, eyes still glued to hers.

Krista wanted to ask what his worry was then, but didn’t think she would like the answer. She kept quiet for a minute, unable to meet his troubled gaze. After a while, too long for her taste, he finally spoke.

“I’m not sure what to say. There is a lot on the table between us.”

She tried to keep the tears at bay. “Look, I’m sorry for the things I said to you the other day. They seemed right at the time. Hindsight is 20/20, you know? It’s my forward thinking that needs glasses.”

Sean did his classic sigh and got up. He paced toward the window, directing his unwavering gaze elsewhere.

“You were right about the things you said. All of it. You have a way of cutting to the wick with me. You call me on my bullshit. I need that.”

Well…that was unexpected. Krista was suddenly back in that swirling water; she had no idea which end was up with this conversation. She chose to keep quiet and wait it out.

After a while, Sean turned back to her. His expression was grave. “I almost lost you today.”

“Honestly, Sean, I didn’t intend to surf waves that big. I just got caught on the wrong end. I didn’t go looking for danger or anything.”

“I know. You never actively look for danger, but it finds you anyway. Or you always find it without knowing you were looking. Unlike Kate, I don’t blame you for your close call. I take that responsibility unto myself.”

“Wait…what? I’m trying to tell you guys—I wasn’t all depressed and looking for thrills. Seriously. Why doesn’t anyone believe me? I planned to worry about my heart tonight with a bottle of something strong. This accident has nothing to do with you, Sean. Well, I mean, other than the fact that you saved my life…”

Sean was still staring at her. He was still troubled. It was like he was brushing away all her covers and exposing her gushy insides. It was disconcerting, to say the least. She looked down at her hands and started to fidget until she heard a rustle of fabric and peeked under her eyelashes. Sean had turned back to the window.

“I told Tory I needed to slow down. I told him I would hand in my resignation if the job I had done thus far wasn’t satisfactory.”

That took Krista by surprise. Sean was dancing to his own rhythm with the conversation. Krista figured she might just play as his side show act for a while instead of as a participant.

To that end, she commented with, “Oh.”

“He told me I had beaten his expectations. Those are tall words coming from Tory. Not many people live up to his expectations, let alone beat them.”

“Well, that’s good.” Krista stopped herself from adding “right?”

“Yes, that is good.”

Krista nodded even though his back was to her. Where the hell was this going? She waited, silent, even though she was extremely uncomfortable with the possible outcomes for his thought process.

“Tory asked what finally made me realize I was working too hard,” Sean continued.

“Uh huh.”

“I said you left me.”

Krista’s stomach dropped. He said it in past tense, so in his mind they weren’t together. So that was bad. On the other hand, he came to San Diego. So that must be good. Silence was definitely the right way to go on this one.

“He said he was wondering how long it would take you. He was surprised you stuck it out for as long as you did. He said Emily didn’t wait as long. He said you must really care for me to ‘cope’ for so long. That was the word he used, cope. He thought the situation was as funny as it was familiar. Called it the ‘follies of youth’.”

“Oh. Hmmm.” Krista’s skin was prickling. She was waiting for the hammer to drop.

“He said we were a good team. Hoped we would continue to be. It was a hint, obviously, and I heard it loud and clear.”

That was good. This was going in the right direction. Albeit slowly and randomly.

Sean turned back around. His eyes traveled the length of her and his face was pained. “He got another call he had to take and had to quickly say goodbye. I was sitting in my house for the call. I hadn’t decided to come to San Diego yet.”

“Oh?” Get to the damn point!

“If that call had lasted five more minutes, you would be dead.”

Hammer.

That was a pretty realistic view of the current events.

Sean stepped closer, his eyes were glistening. His face was peeled of every defensive layer he possessed. The result was raw pain.

“If I hadn’t filled up the car last night even though I didn’t really need it at the time…If I hadn’t decided to skip fast food because the drive-thru line was too long…If that idiot hadn’t been at the bar when I asked about you…Krista, there are a million and a half things that might have delayed me. A million and a half. If any one of those things happened, you would be dead. As it was, it was a narrow miss.”