Burn (Songs of Submission #5)(21)

—We have a no touching rule in effect—

—Only until you commit yourself to me—

I knew where this was going, and I wanted it, dangerous as it was.

—What if I don’t commit myself?—

—You will—

—Then what?—

—Then I’m going to take those touchy little hands and tie them to your knees—

—No kissing first?—

—No—

—Not even your cock?—

He pursed his lips and looked at me. His hands slid over the glass. Fuck that, he was not taking control of this conversation. I put my elbows on the table, leaning over it toward him.

—What if I crawled at your feet, kneeled before you, looking up at you as you pulled out that piece of meat between your legs—

He glanced at Darren, who sat in the dark, eyes glued to his computer screen and unaware of our bloops and dings. Then Jonathan leaned forward, mirroring my position on the table, as he texted.

—When I’m done tying your hands, I’m going to bend you over and press your cheek to the mattress. Then tie your ankles to the bed’s legs, holding them spread for me as you stand—

—What if I kissed the tip of your cock? And you took me at the back of my head while you rubbed it along my closed lips, and I opened them—

Our forearms rested on the table, lateral, not touching, as we watched each other and our little glowing screens. Our phones dinged and blooped and buzzed rapid fire, like electronic jumping beans.

—I’m going to put my thumb on your clit, then move it up to your ass**le until it’s wet—

— In one move, you put your whole shaft down my throat—

—I’ll lean my wet thumb on your ass**le until it yields to me—

—I flatten my tongue on the base of you as you pull out of my mouth—

—My thumb will enter you and you’ll groan and strain against your ties—

—I look up at you and open my mouth for you to f**k it again—

—I’ll kneel and lick your cunt until you beg for me to f**k you—

—You tighten your grip on the hair at the back of my head—

—I won’t—

—and press your c**k into me until my tongue touches your balls—

—I’ll spank you until you can’t do more than sob—

—Cruelly, you f**k my mouth and I love it because it pleases you—

—When you least expect it I will enter you and f**k you. Hard. Two strokes, then pull out and rub my wet dick all over—

—Spit drips down my chin and onto my chest—

—Your ass**le will be fresh and wet and ready for me to slide into it. You will scream—

—oh—

—Then you will moan—

“I heard it,” I said, pulling off my headphones. “The click.”

“Me too,” said Darren. “Okay, all I have to do is—”

“Slide over, I have to get out.” I bumped him, and when he didn’t move fast enough because he was wound around the equipment, I stood on the back of his seat and climbed over him.

The bathroom was probably nicer than anything I’d ever seen, and I didn’t care. I didn’t have to pee. I slapped open the door and Jonathan was right behind me, closing it behind us. I put my arms around him.

“Behind your back,” he growled and laced my hands behind me. My back was against some kind of counter, I felt more than saw cabinets, a toilet to my left, and a tile floor. Mostly, I saw Jonathan. His hands were on the cabinets, his face an inch from mine.

“Touch me, Jonathan. Please.”

“Commit yourself to me.”

“Oh, God. Don’t—”

“Commit. Yourself. To. Me.” He said it softly and firmly, half whisper, half scream.

“I’m yours. Touch me.”

“You don’t even know what you’re promising.”

“Yes, I—”

“I cannot watch you walk away again. If you commit yourself, you’re mine. You will set your limits, and I will honor them. You will be exclusive to me. You will submit yourself to me sexually. Completely.”

“Yes.”

“People will know.”

I thought I would have agreed to do anything for him, but that stopped me dead in my tracks. “Why can’t we be discreet?”

“I want everything. I want to take you out. I want us to be tied without worrying about who sees us, and I don’t want men looking at you like you’re single.”

“Fine, then Carnival’s going to put me on stage in a collar.”

He raised an eyebrow as if he found that interesting, not repulsive. “You crossed that off your list.”

“Figurative collar. If everyone knows already, I might as well let them have their way and put one on me. But it won’t be your collar; it’ll be theirs.”

“Tell them that’s not acceptable.”

“I’m not in a position to negotiate.”

He bent his knees a little to get his face level with mine. “You don’t know the power you have.”

My hands were still behind my back, but my shoulders sagged. I was uncomfortably aroused, and though I was happy my pu**y remembered sex fondly enough to moisten, the sweet physical desire was in opposition to the shitstink in my heart. “I just want us to be secret for a while.”