Burn (Breathless #3)(53)

He tucked the box under his arm and resumed their earlier position. Him on the couch leaned against the arm with her on his lap, his arms firmly around her. He held the box in front of her so they could both see it and then he carefully opened it, revealing a stunning choker.

She gasped as he took it out and held it up. She knew what it was. He’d told her he was having one made. But she’d never imagined it would be so exquisite.

“I want you to wear this, Josie. I want you to understand what it means.”

“I’d love to, Ash,” she said softly.

He held it up, wrapping it around her neck. She turned so he could fasten it in back and then turned back to him, taking in his fierce expression.

“It’s perfect,” she said. And it was. “It’s absolutely something I would have chosen for myself.”

He smiled. “Yeah, it’s you. It suits you. I wanted something to match your eyes, but I also wanted something that reflected your personality. Your vibrancy.”

Tears bit the corners of her eyes and she sucked in a breath so she didn’t lose the battle and let them fall.

He touched her cheek, stroking tenderly over her skin and then slipped his fingers down to trail over the collar resting at the hollow of her throat.

“Want you to understand what this means, baby,” he said again. “I know it’s fast, but just because it’s fast doesn’t mean it’s not real. I saw my two best friends fall hard and fast. Very fast. I know it can happen and that it can last. I want you and me to last. Not saying we’re there yet. But I want us to get there. And I want you to understand the significance of this collar. In some ways it’s even more important than an engagement ring. Not that you won’t have that too. When it’s time, you’ll have the rock and you’ll have my commitment. But this collar is every bit as important as a ring and those formalities.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” she said, her voice cracking as she stared down at him in awe.

“Say you understand its meaning and say you’ll wear it. Then we’ll get to the other parts of the conversation I want to have with you.”

She nodded and then lifted her fingers to touch the collar. “I won’t ever take it off, Ash.”

Satisfaction gleamed in his eyes and then he pulled her down into a long, breathless kiss. When he pulled away, his eyes were half-lidded and smoky with desire.

“Now, to get back to your relationship with Michael.”

She made a face but he put his finger to her lips.

“I get that it’s not a good subject. I understand you not wanting to talk about it or even being afraid to bring him up when you’re with me. But darling, this is you we’re talking about. I’m not going to pretend that your relationship with him didn’t happen and I’m not that much of an ass**le to forbid any mention of your past and the things that affect you. You never have to be afraid to say anything to me. If it concerns you then it concerns me and we talk about it. Got it?”

“Yeah, I get it. I just didn’t want him here, you know? Your apartment is our world and I hate bringing him here.”

“I understand, baby. But here is where you should feel the safest bringing up shit from your past that hurts you. I don’t want you ever holding out on me. Now, what I was going to add was that your relationship with Michael was all sorts of f**ked up. And I’ll tell you why I think that. I don’t want you thinking I’m judging you or thinking you were an idiot for being with him. But what I’m going to say is important and it has bearing on what you and I have now.”

God, she loved this man. If she hadn’t already acknowledged that she was falling hard and fast for him, these words, completely and utterly sincere, amazingly awesome words, would have sealed the deal for her. Where else would she ever find a man like this? Someone who was so caring and considerate. So tender and gentle with her and yet rough and demanding when she needed it?

He was, in a word, perfect. And she hadn’t thought perfect men existed except in fantasy land.

She settled into his arms, warm and content, waiting to hear what he’d say next.

“Michael took from you in your relationship but he didn’t give shit back. And I know this from what you’ve told me. He expected things from you. He punished you when you didn’t comply. But he didn’t give you anything back. You said he was cold and distant. He was never affectionate. He didn’t give you the things you needed. And he didn’t reward you when you did something that pleased him.”

She pursed her lips in distaste because Ash had nailed it right on the head. And the hell of it was she’d never seen it while she was in the relationship with Michael. She’d wrongly assumed that all relationships like the one she had with Michael were that way. Ash was fast proving her wrong.

“He didn’t show you affection. He didn’t do things for you because he knew you’d love them. And, baby, that’s wrong. Your relationship with him was all about him. Not about you. It was about what he could take from you without having to give back. And that’s ten sorts of f**ked up. It’s no way for a man to treat a woman he’s supposed to cherish and protect.”

“You’re not like that,” she whispered.

His eyes flared. “Thank f**k you feel that way, baby. I wouldn’t be pleased at all if you thought I wasn’t giving you back what you needed from me. And if it ever comes to that, I want you to let me know. Because I’ll fix it. I won’t ever consciously do it. But if it does ever happen, I expect you to give me a loud wake-up call.”