Burn (Breathless #3)(52)

“What are you thinking about, baby? Because it’s definitely not my dick. Not that what you’re doing doesn’t feel good, but your head’s not in it.”

She sighed and rocked back on her heels, her fingers still wrapped around his length.

“Sorry, Ash. My fault. I was just thinking about a hundred different things.”

She wondered if he’d punish her. It’s certainly what Michael would have done. And his punishments weren’t kinky pleasures. They hurt. They were meant to hurt.

Ash’s gaze narrowed as he continued to study her. “What the hell is going through your head right now? Whatever it is, I don’t like it.”

She pursed her lips, almost allowing the word “nothing” to slip out. It would do no good to deny him. He’d only push her until she gave him the truth. He liked bluntness and honesty. He liked knowing what was going on in her head.

“I was wondering if you’d punish me for zoning out,” she said quietly. “And I was thinking about Michael’s punishments and the fact that he would absolutely have punished me for not giving him my full attention. And his punishments aren’t kinky pleasurable punishments like yours. They . . . hurt. Just hurt. There’s no pleasure in them.”

There was a spark of rage in Ash’s eyes that made her withdraw her hand instinctively. Darkness tracked over his entire face and she immediately regretted the fact that she’d been so honest. She shouldn’t have brought up Michael. Not brought him into Ash’s apartment. Into their lives.

She lowered her gaze, knotting her fingers together between her knees.

Above her, Ash swore but she didn’t look up. Then his hands closed gently around her shoulders and lifted upward until she was standing right in front of him. He pulled his pants up and refastened the fly.

“This is one of those times when we’re going to talk, but we’re going to do it with you in my arms.”

He didn’t look angry, and relief coursed through her. Damn it, but it was hard navigating the waters of a new relationship. Always worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing was exhausting. She didn’t want to screw this up. She was already half in love, okay maybe a lot in love with Ash, and she wanted to see where things would take them.

Ash turned her toward the couch and then sat, pulling her with him. His hands slid over her body, up her arms, before giving her another gentle squeeze. He cupped her face, thumbed the small area right at the corner of her mouth where there was still the faintest hint of a bruise.

“Told you before, I’m not your father. You aren’t my daughter. We aren’t playing daddy/daughter roles here. You’re a grown woman, free to make your own choices. And if that sounds contradictory to the kind of relationship you and I have, it’s not meant to be. You have a choice whether to submit to me. I can’t make you. Can’t force you to make decisions you don’t want to make. Don’t want to make you do that. Ever.

“Which means that I’m not into punishment for things you supposedly do wrong or to displease me. That just makes me an ass**le, and that’s not who I want to be with you. Now, when I feel like reddening your ass because it turns us both on? Yeah, I’m down with that. And it’ll happen often if I have my way about it. But as for pulling out a crop and inflicting pain on you for no other reason than you did something wrong, or you pissed me off? Not going to happen. Ever. Because that would make me no better than the bastard who hit you because he was pissed that you dumped him.”

She nodded, understanding where he was coming from.

“Do you really get it, Josie? It pisses me off to think of him meting out pain to you because of a supposed infraction. I am never going to touch you physically or sexually when I’m pissed. I may say shit that hurts you. I have a temper. But I’m not ever going to hurt you purposely.”

Again she nodded, some of the tension lightening in her chest.

His voice lowered until it was soft, his gaze finding hers, warm and tender.

“Baby, what I need you to understand is that your relationship with Michael was not good. It wasn’t healthy. And it’s not indicative of the kind of relationship you thought you were getting with him. Maybe that works for other people, and if it does, more power to them. As long as both the man and the woman are down with it and the woman consents. If that’s what she wants and needs from the guy she’s with, then fine. But it doesn’t work for me. I’m a demanding bastard. You and I both know that. But I’m not so egotistical and arrogant that it’s all about me all the time. If there’s something you don’t like or something you don’t want, then all you have to do is tell me. We’ll talk about it. Figure out if it’s really important. And we’ll find a way to work around it.”

She battled a smile but it broadened her lips and relief registered in his eyes.

“Was going to do this when I got here, but seeing you on your knees, naked and waiting for me . . . Let’s just say I forgot all about what I was going to do. But you’re here in my arms now, and I think this is the next logical step.”

She cocked her head to the side and looked inquisitively at him.

“Let me go get it out of my briefcase.”

He turned, easing her onto the couch, and then slid from underneath her. He strode toward his discarded briefcase, rummaged around for a moment and then returned carrying a long, rectangular box.