Brazen (Brazen #1)(35)

But he had to address this thing between them. He had to do something to assuage the constant ache. It wasn’t just sexual either. His chest hurt half the time and the other half he felt strangely empty.

He stood outside of Jaz’s room and tapped lightly on her door. When he heard her soft call to come in, he pushed the door open and stepped around it.

She was sitting on the bed, her back propped against the half dozen pillows she insisted on sleeping with. She was wearing only a thin T-shirt that touched the top of her navel and a pair of lacy panties.

When she met his gaze, her cheeks became a dusty pink, and she grabbed for the covers. “I thought you were Carmen.”

He said nothing. He walked over to the bed, sat down on the edge and drew one leg up so he was turned toward her.

“I’ve missed you, Jaz,” he said simply.

He reached out a hand to touch her cheek. Her eyes closed briefly as if she found pleasure in his gesture. He stroked his fingers over her skin and pulled her hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered.

Slowly he lowered his head, closing the distance between them. He slid his hand behind her neck until his palm cradled the base of her skull. He pulled her to him to meet his kiss.

A soft sigh escaped her, and he felt a tremor work its way through her body.

“I want you, Jaz. I’ve argued with myself. I swore I wouldn’t touch you, but at the moment, I can’t think of a single reason why I can’t make love to you.”

As she pulled further away, he could see shadows in her eyes. The sight did funny things to his heart. He wanted her to shine. He wanted to make her light up. It was only now that he realized just how much his rejection had hurt her.

“I won’t push you away again, honey,” he murmured as he trailed a finger down the line of her jaw.

She sighed heavily. “There are things you need to know, Zane. I have to be honest with you. I can’t hide the truth from you anymore.”

Jasmine watched as he processed her statement with a look of wariness. He glanced uncertainly at her.

“What do you need to tell me?” he asked cautiously.

His hand paused in its descent, and she reached up to cup it, wanting to touch him in some way. She wasn’t sure how he would take her revelation. She wasn’t really ready to tell him, but if he was here for why she thought, she couldn’t allow matters to go further without him knowing everything.

Zane appreciated bluntness. He wasn’t much into games or long, drawn-out dramas so the longer she pu**yfooted around the issue, the more annoyed he’d become.

“I slept with Seth last night.”

Zane blinked in surprise. “Slept? As in slept like you do sometimes in my bed or are we talking about something else?”

“As in I was a virgin when you and I had sex, and then I had sex with Seth. He was my first. Well, technically you were my first,” she corrected and groaned inwardly at the mess she was making of things. “He was the first I had actual intercourse with.”

Zane’s hand fell away from her face, and he dragged it through his hair, a look of confusion marring his features.

“But why? I mean I noticed that things weren’t good between you and Seth, but I assumed it was because of what happened between you and me.”

If she didn’t make him understand and understand soon, she was going to lose him before she ever got her mouth open. She leaned forward, curling her feet underneath her so she pressed into his chest. He was stiff against her.

She moved her hands up his body, and then she cupped his face between her palms. “I love you, Zane.”

He looked even more confused by her declaration.

“But I love Seth, too.”

Understanding flickered in his eyes, something she hadn’t expected.

He reached up and took one of her hands from his face. He turned it over and pressed his lips to her palm. “What happened with Seth?”

“He was furious with me,” she admitted. “I snuck into his room and seduced him. Things were good until he realized I was a virgin. Then he got pissed and we didn’t finish. He hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“Does he know you love him…me?”

“I told him I loved him. I haven’t told him I love you. He won’t accept that I love him, so I can’t imagine he’d take the news that I love you both any better.”

Zane sighed. “We’ve both hurt you badly.”

“I haven’t handled it well.” She shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? I don’t always understand it myself. There aren’t any rule books for something like this.”

She studied his face, looking for disgust, anger, anything to let her know that she’d just lost any chance of earning his love. But all she saw was the same understanding she’d seen earlier.

“Does it make you angry?” she asked hesitantly.

His lips twisted, and he gave a little shrug. “To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel. I suppose I should be angry. Jealous even. But I can also understand how you have feelings for us both.”

He studied her for a long moment. “What is it that you want, Jaz? Because I want you happy above all else.”

She hesitated, gathering her courage and praying that what she was about to say wouldn’t drive him away.