Brazen (Brazen #1)(10)

He was asleep on his back, one arm over his head, tucked beneath his pillow. The other arm rested across his abdomen. Her gaze dropped lower. As soon as it came to rest on his groin, she looked guiltily away.

She wasn’t here for some madcap seduction. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. She shouldn’t have come at all. It would only make things more awkward than they already were.

She turned away, biting her lip to squelch the betraying quiver.

“Jaz?” Zane’s sleepy voice reached her, and she froze.

She turned back around, careful to keep her gaze in a neutral location. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ll go.”

Zane looked down as if just realizing he was naked. He swore and yanked the sheets up to his waist. She turned around again and started to walk to the door.

“No, don’t go, Jaz. Give me a minute, okay?”

She stopped, gripped by indecision. She heard him scramble out of bed, and when she peeked around, she saw him pulling on a pair of shorts. When he was done, he reached over and turned on the small lamp by his bed. Then he walked over to her and put a hand on her arm.

“What’s wrong, Jaz?”

She felt pretty stupid when it came down to it. She’d been gone for a year, and before that, it had been months since she’d last come to his room in the middle of the night. Of course he wouldn’t have expected her to come barging in. She hadn’t thought beyond her need for comfort, something he’d given her more times than she could count.

“I shouldn’t have come,” she said quietly. “I didn’t think.”

Zane pulled her toward the bed. He put both hands on her shoulders and pushed her down until she sat on the mattress. Then he sat down beside her.

“Of course you should have come,” he chided. “I didn’t think. I should have realized that after what happened, you’d have trouble sleeping. Is there anything I can get you?”

She looked over at him. How could she tell him what she most needed? “I just didn’t want to be alone,” she said.

He moved over until he was on the other side of the bed. He shoved the covers down then patted the spot beside him. She hesitated for a brief moment before crawling up beside him. She positioned herself so she faced away from him.

He reached down, pulled the covers up and wrapped one arm around her waist. When she snuggled back against his chest, he pulled away so that a small space separated them. She regretted the distance immediately. She knew why he’d done it, and instead of thrilling her as it might have under other circumstances, his awareness of her reinforced the breach that was opening up between them. A breach that she wasn’t altogether sure she could overcome.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop Toby,” he said. “I’ve made damn sure it won’t happen again, though.”

“It’s not your fault I’m such a f**ked-up mess.”

“Turn over,” he commanded as he pulled at her waist.

Surprised, she shifted and rolled her body until they faced each other. He stared intently at her, and suddenly she wished he hadn’t turned the lamp on. It was much easier in the dark when he couldn’t see her.

“I know we don’t talk about what happened six years ago, and maybe that’s not a good thing. I think our silence has sent the wrong messages, made you think we’re ashamed of you in some way.”

When she opened her mouth to speak, he silenced her with a finger to her lips.

“Seth and I don’t talk about it because we don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I think now, we might have made a mistake. Maybe we should have been talking about it a whole lot so you could get it out of your system and quit dwelling on it.”

She cast her eyes downward, unable to keep staring at him.

“If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s fine, but if you’ve got the notion Seth and I think less of you, then you need to get that out of your head quick.”

Silence descended between them. She chanced another look up at him to find him studying her, his eyes soft with understanding.

“Can I sleep here?” she asked. “I—I don’t want to go back to my room.”

He accepted her diversion without argument. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, only he lingered a little longer than usual. She could hear the catch in his breath as he withdrew.

“I’ll get the light,” he said, as he rolled away abruptly.

He reached up and extinguished the light, plunging the room back into darkness. It was a moment before she could dimly make out his features from the narrow beam feeding into his doorway.

She eased over, turning her back to him once again. She wanted him to put his arm around her waist like he had before, but he didn’t move. She let out a small sigh of disappointment and stared at the door.

Zane listened to her uneven breathing, knowing she wasn’t close to sleep. Which was fine, because it wasn’t like he was going back to sleep anytime soon.

He wanted to touch her, ached to touch her. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to hold her in his arms and tell her that it would be all right. He wanted to make love to her, to explore every curve, kiss her silky skin.

He closed his eyes, willing himself back to sleep. But his mind wasn’t cooperating, and his body damn sure wasn’t either. Every muscle was wound tighter than a rattlesnake ready to strike. If she’d fall asleep, then at least he could get up, take himself away from temptation.