Blonde & Blue (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #4)(66)

“I know you’ll never love me the way I want you to. But, I know you feel something for me. And whatever that is, I need to know. I think you owe me that much.”

What was it about Kale that brought me to my knees? He was one of the strongest people I knew, having survived more than most could dream of. All he had to do was turn those passion-filled eyes on me, and I became weak.

“I owe you more than that. I’m so confused … so much is going on, and I’m starting to feel like I’ve reached my limit on how much I can take. I want to escape, and the only way I know how is by giving in. Giving in to you, to the bloodlust … I see everyone around me doing the same, and I can’t take anymore.”

The emotion burst forth as the place deep inside where I tried to bottle it up reached capacity. I wanted to cry, but I refused to let the blood tears fall. Screw that.

Kale touched the faded bruise outlining my left eye. With a shuddery breath, I drank in the comfort of his soothing touch.

“Sometimes fighting so hard to make everything right is what brings you down in the end.” Pulling me against him, Kale murmured into my hair. “Some things have to happen, and you have to learn to let them.”

Breathing in his heady scent of leather and soap, I found the solace he always promised me. I longed to believe that there would be meaning in all of this. It was hard to think that such horror as the bliss I knew when I killed and the indiscretions of both myself and Shaz could have any kind of purpose.

“I just want to be free from it all.” The burning in my veins was driving me crazy. Kale was as much of a drug to me as the bloodlust was.

Slipping a hand into my hair, his voice dropped to a whisper. “Let me love you the way I should have when I had the chance.”

I gazed up at him, smitten and conflicted. I wanted to say yes. It was on the tip of my tongue, but what came out was, “I can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to…”

“It’s that you never let yourself feel anything other than pain and agony. Really, Alexa. That’s getting old.” In a brazen move, he claimed my lips in a tender kiss that left me dizzy.

I groaned and pulled away, but he held tight to my hand. “Why do you always have to be right? Maybe that’s what’s getting old.”

I shook my head and stared at our joined hands. How did I make it clear to him what I felt when I didn’t really know? From moment to moment it changed. Overwhelming desire became mind racking guilt, and somewhere in between was what I really wanted.

Before I could utter another word, I gasped as the cold undead power of Arys rose up with an icy blast inside me. He strode through the door with eyes blazing in anger.

I jerked my hand from Kale’s and immediately felt like an ass. Kale merely regarded Arys’ approach with indifference while I quaked with tension and fear.

My dark vampire was fuming. As he drew closer I felt it burning inside me, hot and bitter. I drew myself up and faced him, ready for the fit of temper I could tell was coming.

Arys cast a furious glare Kale’s way before turning it on me. “What the hell are you doing here? Last night’s torture session wasn’t enough for you. Fuck, Alexa! When did your death wish get so bad?”

“Excuse me?” I looked up into Arys’ gorgeous face, finding myself torn between defensive anger and nervous laughter. “I’m not a child, Arys. Don’t talk to me like I’m incapable of taking care of myself.”

“You mean like you did last night?”

Kale regarded us both before his pensive gaze settled on me. “You were tortured?”

“Not really.” I shrugged as if it was no big deal. I didn’t want the both of them all over me with the scolding. To Arys I said, “I don’t have a death wish.”

“Like hell you don’t,” he scoffed. Turning his midnight blues on Kale, he scowled. “Funny how you weren’t around last night when she could have used you, but when there’s a chance of getting some tail you show up.”

My stomach dropped. I opened my mouth to spit out a panicked reply, but Kale beat me to it. He was more prepared for this moment than I was.

“Ah yes, here we go. Say what you will, Arys. I don’t owe you an explanation, and if it’s an apology you’re expecting, you’ll be disappointed.”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the least. You’ve been after Alexa for a while now. So now that you’ve gotten a taste, I know you’ll be backing off.” The threat was there, spoken in low tones. Arys’ menacing calm was more frightening than his temper tantrums.

Kale reclined against the bar, fixing Arys with a disaffected stare. “Alexa can make her own decisions. Sounds to me like you have bigger worries right now than whether or not I have a thing for your girl.”

“Yes!” I interjected quickly, angling my body so I stood between them but could see them both. “We do have other things to worry about. Things that I plan to take care of after sunrise.”

“What?” Arys’ attention was quickly diverted as I’d hoped it would be. “Oh, hell no. You are not taking them on without me.”

“Yes, I am. I’m going in with four wolves as well as the dagger Shya gave me. I’ll be fine. Let me draw on your power if I need it, and they won’t stand a chance. Give me some credit. These aren’t the first vampires I’ve hunted.”