Black Moon (Alpha Pack #3)(39)

"Nick, I'm fine," she tried to reassure him. But he wasn't buying.

"Mac, I know why you left Dallas. And even though Kalen isn't a patient of yours, the possible repercussions to you are just as devastating. He's more troubled and volatile than anyone you've ever dealt with, even the man who attacked you years ago."

Why did the man always have to be so reasonable? "True. But I honestly don't believe Kalen will hurt me." She had to believe that.

"I hope you're right." He leaned forward, his expression earnest. "We know Kalen is standing on the edge of a cliff, and it's not going to take much more to send him over. He needs all of us to be there, showing our support, ready to yank him back, if he's going to survive."

"I can't disagree with that." She paused. "Did you hear what happened at breakfast?"

"About Ryon getting knocked out of his seat by one of his ghosts? I heard. And?" He waited for her to explain.

"It wasn't one of Ryon's spirits," she said. "Kalen created the thing as an illusion and scared the hell out of him for kicks."

"Damn, I was afraid of something like this happening." He gazed at her, troubled. "But I didn't pick up on it and neither did anyone else, as far as I know. How did you figure out what he'd done?"

"I felt his emotions. I read his intent through them."

His brows drew together. "And just how did you manage that when no one else could?"

"Because last night he claimed me as his Bondmate," she said with difficulty. Her face grew hot. "Without my permission."

"He did what? Jesus f**king Christ!" His laugh was completely devoid of humor as he shook his head. "I ought to shoot him now and put him out of everyone's misery."

She winced. "That might be a bit harsh. There were two of us getting hot and heavy, after all." At hearing her own words, she finally began to think that she might have been a little too hard on her lover. He had tried to explain, and she hadn't been willing to listen.

"I'm sorry, but in my old clan of born shifters, the penalty for claiming a Bondmate without consent is either banishment or death."

Never before had she heard him refer to his old life. She wondered where this clan was located and where they might be now. Whether anyone there missed him. But as curious as she might be, that was a line she didn't feel comfortable crossing with her boss, and they had a more immediate issue to discuss.

She brought the topic back to the purpose of his visit. "Well, you're not really going to shoot him or you wouldn't be here discussing our well-being with me. What do you think I should do?"

"He needs to talk with someone about his struggles, past and present," Nick said. "I know things aren't easy between the two of you right now, but he needs you."

"You think I should give him another chance."

"I think you should do what you know in your heart is right. I think his success in defeating Malik depends on his happiness with you."

"No pressure, huh?" Dammit! It was becoming very apparent he wasn't going to give up until she saw his point. Slumping in defeat, she nodded. "Okay. I'll try, but that's all I can promise."

"Noted." Visibly pleased, Nick stood. "Are you sure you're all right after that dizzy spell? Do you need me to call Melina in to take a look at you?"

"No, thanks. I'm all right now."

"Hmm." Which meant he'd probably do it anyway. "Well, take it easy and I'll see you later."

Giving Nick a halfhearted smile, she watched him walk out. And wasn't surprised when Melina hurried in less than a minute later.

"What the hell does he mean, you weren't going to tell me you've been dizzy?" she bitched.

Back to the exam room. And just think-only eight more months to go, give or take.

Yippee.

* * *

You won't be alone. We'll be there with you every step of the way.

But they couldn't follow through, no matter their good intentions, Kalen thought. The darkness inside him was taking root like a plant that had been dying of thirst for too long. He curled on his side and stared out the bedroom window at the deceptively bright day. At the lush forest beyond, beckoning his panther to go for a run. But even that small happiness had been taken away, unless he wanted to risk being drawn to Malik's lair again.

Idly, he gazed at his hand resting on the bed. Focusing on his panther, he allowed a tiny bit of a shift and one of his sharp claws grew from his index finger. A deadly weapon fit to skewer an enemy. Especially when he was one of them.

The claw would make a perfect razor blade.

Heart pounding, he placed the tip of the claw against the inside of his left wrist. Could he do it? Make a couple of deep gashes and simply wait until the pain was ended for good?

Nick's friendship, the Pack's support, even Mackenzie's love, were conditional. They would accept him as long as he didn't f**k up-which he did, frequently. He had nothing. No real home, a mate who didn't want him, and only an evil bastard who did. He would end up hurting everyone he'd never wanted to care about.

I will terminate you, Nick had said.

Why wait?

Then the memories of making love to Mackenzie stole into his thoughts unbidden. Of holding her close, skin to skin, just listening to her breathe. The bittersweet images gradually eased the turmoil in his mind. Calmed the desperation. Despite the heartbreak of the path he'd traveled to get to this point, he wasn't ready to give up.