Black Moon (Alpha Pack #3)(38)

His mouth fell open. "No!" He shook his head, stomach lurching at the mere thought-and that she would even suspect him of having sex with the Unseelie. His panther snarled in displeasure at the image of bedding anyone but his mate. "No way. Not like you mean. I'd never lie to you about that."

She blew out a breath and nodded. Some of her color returned. "Okay. Then how is it that he gets to you?"

"You know part of it. He plays to my insecurities and sympathizes with all of the shit I've been through," he admitted with difficulty. "He tells me everything I've always longed to hear from my father. He tells me how proud he is of me, and when I please him . . . he gives me a blood reward."

She stilled. "His, or someone else's?"

"His. It's like a designer drug my system already craves, and now I don't know how I'll stop."

She lowered her head and fell silent. When a tear slid down her cheek, Kalen pushed to his feet, intending to gather her in his arms, but she put out a hand to stop him. "This is so messed up. I don't know how to deal with any of this, or with you."

Agony speared his heart. "If I'm just another problem you have to deal with, then maybe I'm not worth the fight. At least Malik thinks I am."

That was a low blow, and it produced instant results. Pushing from the edge of the table, she took a couple of quick steps forward and swung her hand. Her palm struck his cheek with a resounding crack that echoed throughout the room. He didn't move. Didn't breathe.

"Don't ever compare me to that murdering piece of scum, not ever again!" she shouted. "There isn't a single person in this building whose life he hasn't almost destroyed! Is that really what you want? To help that bastard kill your friends? Maybe even kill you?"

"No. It's not what I want at all." Any second, he was going to implode. How much more could he take?

"Then fight him! Otherwise, you're not the man I thought you were."

"But I can't-"

She wasn't listening anymore. Turning, she stalked from the room, flinging open the door so hard it bounced against the wall and chipped the paint.

"I can't fight without you," he whispered to the empty air. His mate was the only good and pure thing keeping his head above water.

Without Mackenzie, he would sink into the depths of hell and never emerge.

Chapter Eight

Mac swept past the front desk, ignoring Noah's tentative question.

"Doc? You okay?"

She kept going. When she reached the sanctity of her office, she slammed the door shut and stood there, chest heaving. A wave of dizziness swamped her and the room began to spin. She wavered, put out a hand, realizing she was about to go down-

And a strong hand caught her arm, steadying her.

"Whoa! Easy there," Nick said soothingly. "Come on, sit down." He helped her into one of the two guest chairs in front of her desk and took a seat beside her, patting her hand.

"Thanks. I didn't see you there." She took a few deep breaths, rubbing the tears from her tired eyes.

"I just got here, thought I'd sit down and wait for you. Better now?"

"I think so."

"Do I have to ask what-" He halted in midsentence, eyes widening. "Oh, Mac. Christ, don't tell me what I'm picking up is true."

"Depends on what you think it is," she hedged.

"Don't tell me you're pregnant with Kalen's baby," he said softly.

She swallowed hard. "Jeez, it's hard to keep a secret when you're living with a bunch of Psy-wolves."

Her attempt to joke fell flat. Nick's lips didn't so much as twitch. "Does Kalen know? I met with him yesterday and I didn't pick up on anything."

"If he knew, you would've been picking him up off the floor." She sniffled. "Things between us have been a roller-coaster ride, to say the least. No, the perfect time to drop the bombshell hasn't exactly presented itself."

"Not to mention how scared you are for your baby, and that's getting in the way of telling him the truth."

She nodded miserably, trying not to cry again. "I know in my heart he would never intentionally harm our child."

"If he were in full control of himself."

"Yes."

"Are you feeling okay physically? Other than the dizzy spell, I mean."

"I'm fine, really. That was probably because I've just started having some morning sickness and can't keep a lot down. I'm not as nauseated later in the afternoons, though, so I'm eating a little better then."

"That's good." The silence stretched between them as the commander absorbed the import of this development. Finally, he met her gaze and said, "What's going on with you and Kalen doesn't make what I've come to ask of you any easier. Quite the opposite."

"Whatever it is, you know I'll help any way I can," she told him with some unease.

"I know, and I appreciate it. Thing is, Kalen needs a lot of help-"

"Ya think?" Embarrassed by the sarcastic outburst in front of her boss, she grimaced. "Sorry. That wasn't very professional of me."

He gave her an understanding half smile. "I'd say you're entitled to some angst where our Sorcerer is concerned. I want you to know I'm just as worried about you as I am about Kalen."