Binding the Shadows (Arcadia Bell #3)(86)

Jupe? The Giovannis?

“Giovannis are on their way back to Portland. Jupe’s outside in the waiting room with Kar Yee and the Holidays. I didn’t want him to see you.”

I glanced down at myself. All I could see was blood soaking through the blue paper wrap they’d used to cover me up. I looked back up at Lon and remembered what happened in Tambuku, my mind flipping through the events in rapid succession.

I killed Dare. Killed all of them.

Lon nodded. “Priya came to Jupe. He told us.”

I’m not sorry.

“Me neither.”

Dare’s gone. Merrimoth’s gone. No more Hellfire Club, I suppose. Either that, or you’re in charge of it. I laughed silently, feeling mildly delirious. That’s something, huh? You’re the head honcho now. Everyone else is dead.

“It’s the least of my worries.” He lifted his hand as if he was going to touch my face and halted, fingers hovering above my cheek.

My mom will be coming back. If they fix me, tell them to strap me down. Put anti-magick sigils up around the room. Because I’ll be dangerous if she’s controlling me.

His voice cracked. “Oh, Cady.”

“You need to go, Lon.” That was Mick talking. I recognized his voice now.

Lon leaned closer. “I’ll find a way to stop your mother. I don’t know how, but I will.”

I don’t know if she can be stopped.

“If there’s a way—”

“Lon,” Mick said firmly. “Come on, buddy.”

I didn’t want him to go. I love you. You know that, right?

He murmured something anguished I couldn’t understand, laboring for breath, as if he’d been running. Mick pulled him away. His horns retracted as they forced him out the door. Two nurses took his place. Mick gave them directions, then stood over me, running a hand through his short hair, which looked more red than brown under the surgery lights. “I know you can’t talk, but I think you can hear me. I’m about to put you under.”

I blinked. That was the best I could do to answer.

Mick’s halo swirled, big and blue. “I also wanted to tell you this before we started. I didn’t know if Lon knew, which is why I made him leave.”

Knew what?

Mick lowered his voice. “The baby survived. I’m not sure how—you’re badly bruised and your hip is broken. But it showed up in the blood work, and I can detect the heartbeat with my knack.”

What was he talking about? I stared up at him, unable to ask.

“You’re about seven weeks along, I’d guess. Maybe eight.”

Impossible—he was crazy. I couldn’t be. I was on the Pill! I had a repeating alarm on my phone to remind me. There’s the week you don’t take it, and the pack gives you sugar pills so you don’t get out of the habit, but sometimes I skipped those. Which is fine, as I long as I remembered to take the real pills a week later. And I always did. Well, except that one week after Halloween when my phone alarm went buggy. I missed a few days then, but I doubled up on pills when I finally remembered. Okay, maybe I missed more than a couple of days, but Kar Yee said she forgot and doubled up all the time, and it wasn’t a big deal. Besides, I’d been taking it regularly ever since, so I couldn’t be pregnant.

I mean, I remembered my last period. It was . . . when was it?

Oh, God.

It was before Halloween.

I looked up at Mick.

“Did you know?” he said. “I thought you did, but now I’m having doubts. I wish I could tell. We’ll get a telepath in here later, someone who can read and send, unlike Lon.”

Oh, Christ! This couldn’t be right. Wouldn’t I know if I was pregnant? I thought of Jill, one of the Tambuku waitresses. She’d had a baby earlier in the year. I tried to remember back to when she was pregnant. She was tired all the time. Nauseous. Vomiting. I’d vomited, but not in the mornings—just after magick, which was normal. After my mom visited me in the dream that first night. But that could’ve been related to whatever magick she’d done to me.

I’d been crying. A lot. Jill cried a lot when she was pregnant.

I remembered Hajo’s gross comments about me gaining weight. My breasts were uncomfortable. Maybe even tender. Was that a symptom? I didn’t know!

How did I not know?

Beep-beep, beep-beep.

The machine was going crazy.

“Whoa, your pulse is too high. You need to calm down. Your body is . . . I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m bringing in a second healer who works here. We’ll do what we can, but I can’t fix everything at once. Might have to keep you sedated for a few days while we do additional work. I’ll do everything I can to save the baby. I just wanted you to know.”

Beep-beep, beep-beep.

No, no, no! This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t be pregnant. I thought of what Dare’s men had done to me. Kicked me in the stomach. In the back. Broke my bones. Oh, God. Tears obscured my vision.

Oh, Christ—did my mother know about this? She hadn’t said anything. Maybe she didn’t know. Oh, please let her not know. Lon didn’t know.

“She’s hemorrhaging. We can’t wait any longer.”

Wait—hemorrhaging where? What was going on? Was I losing the baby?

“I’m putting her under.”