Beyond These Walls (The Walls Duet #2)(64)

We stopped at the local pet store, buying everything that was recommended and more. Toys, shampoo, treats, food, and even a comfy dog bed were thrown into the cart.

“We need to get him a tag for his collar,” I said, pointing to the engraving machine near the front.

“Oh, okay!” Lailah answered excitedly, holding her new friend close to her chest.

“Angel—”

“Yeah?”

“You need to name him first.”

Her eyes went wide, and she stopped mid-aisle. “Oh. I guess we do. Well, hmm . . . what do you think we should name him? You seem to have all sorts of good names in that head of yours,” she replied with a knowing grin.

Yeah, that had been a good night.

“Harry?” I suggested, looking down at his wild mane.

Her face scrunched together, and she shook her head. “No, not that.”

She held the dog up, getting a good look at his tiny face. His little puppy-dog eyes met hers, and she giggled.

“We should name you after a famous book dog or something.”

“There are famous book dogs?” I questioned, leaning against the cart. This was going to take a while.

“Of course there are! Bull’s-Eye from Oliver Twist, Toto from The Wizard of Oz, even Clifford from, well, Clifford.”

“So, you want to name him Clifford?” I asked, looking at the little runt, thinking he didn’t resemble the gigantic red dog in the least.

“Well, no. But maybe something similar?”

I looked at our crazy-looking mop of a dog, trying to picture him as the hero of some classic tale.

“Sandy?” I suggested. “It’s not exactly from a book, but you love the musical, and he’s kind of a tiny version of the original. And we are New Yorkers after all.”

“That’s perfect!” she exclaimed. “He does look like Sandy!”

The tag was made, making Sandy’s name official. I loaded our loot into the back of the car, rolling my eyes at the amount of stuff required for one five-pound dog. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much stuff we’d have to start gathering for the baby.

My stomach tightened when I realized neither of us had even talked about it yet.

No nursery had been discussed. No furniture or baby registry had been planned.

Nothing.

We’d decided as a team that we would celebrate everything—every ultrasound, every clean bill of health—and we had. A frame sat by the couch with the latest ultrasound proudly displayed, but it was as if we were unable to move past that point.

We talked about becoming parents all the time. We joked about the lack of sleep and the restless nights, yet neither of us were actually preparing for it.

What were we so scared of?

I awoke, the faint sound of crying ringing in my ears.

“Lailah, the baby is awake,” I whispered, reaching for her across the bed.

But she was nowhere to be found.

Tossing the sheets aside, I stumbled down the hall, covered in darkness, until I saw the sliver of light peeking out the door. Pushing it open with my hand, I stepped forward, following the urgent cries within.

The moonlight cast a light glow upon the crib, and as I looked down, it created almost an angelic halo on his light-blond hair.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, reaching down to scoop him up.

My fingers ran through his tiny locks as his light-blue eyes studied me. Bouncing him lightly like I’d done a hundred times, we walked back and forth in front of the window, watching the dark waves crashing into the shoreline in the distance.

Within minutes, he was calm once again, his eyes dropping heavily.

“Want to go see Mommy before you nod off again?” I asked, cradling him to my chest, as I walked down the hall in search of Lailah.

I checked the kitchen first, wondering if maybe she’d decided to grab a late snack, but found nothing. The living room was empty as well.

My heart fluttered as I checked the deck, only to find it bare. My feet carried me back down the hall, checking room after room, until I found myself standing at the foot of our bed, staring at the place where I’d started.

A silver picture frame caught my eye, and I walked toward the nightstand. Picking up the photo, I looked down, tears falling from my face as I stared at the last picture taken of her.

“She’s gone,” I choked out. “She’s gone.”

“Sir?” Someone shook me, startling me back to reality. “Sir, we’re about to land.”

I looked around, taking in my surroundings, as my heart pounded in my chest. The roar of the engine filled my ears as the sound of the landing gear moved into place.

It was just a dream.

Lailah is alive, I chanted. Lailah is fine.

The nightmares had started a few weeks ago, a by-product of too much stress. So far, Lailah hadn’t noticed when I’d gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to step out onto the deck for air. And I hadn’t bothered to tell her.

I still fully believed that the least amount of stress in her life was the way to go. So far, it had worked.

I looked out of the window as the plane closed in on New York. It had been less than two months since I was here, having flown back briefly to pack up things for our new home, but it still felt like eons.

California was like another world compared to New York, and while I’d grown up here, I found myself loving the slow, laid-back life of the beach more and more with each passing day. Unfortunately, my job was here. I didn’t know how to change that. I couldn’t ask our entire company to relocate just because I liked the beach.