Beyond These Walls (The Walls Duet #2)(48)

I took the photo as she began to speak, my ears . . . my heart, every damn part of me rejecting everything she was saying.

“Based on the size and the fact that my period is only a few days late, the doctor said we probably conceived around our wedding night. Isn’t that crazy?” A laugh laced with tears fell from her lips as she gazed down at the tiny picture in her hands.

“We did everything right.” Tears stung my eyes as I looked up at her—my beautiful, gorgeous wife.

“That’s what I said, but when the doctor examined me, I guess my IUD had shifted. She said it basically rendered it useless. She had to remove it today so everything will be touch and go for the next few weeks as far as the pregnancy is concerned.”

Her expression turned almost mournful—an emotion I couldn’t wrap my head around quite just yet. So many emotions, I nearly felt numb.

“But the condoms?” I pressed on as if arguing the matter could overrule the picture I held in my hand.

A late-night Friends marathon suddenly flashed through my memory. Lailah and I had been curled up on the couch, and we’d both just finished laughing hysterically as a frantic Ross called the customer-service line on the back of a condom box, outraged that Rachel was pregnant. I’d told her how improbable that was. It turned out, Ross and I weren’t that different.

“Dr. Riley—the OB-GYN said it’s rare, but these things do happen.” That smile returned again as she glanced down at the picture once more.

“They don’t, not to you,” I said adamantly. “When do we go back to see Dr. Hough?”

“I don’t know. I told him I needed to talk to you, and then we’d schedule something.”

“I want to see him today.” I jumped up, grabbing the phone from my pocket.

“Jude, would you just calm down?” Her hands touched me as she tentatively stood.

“Calm down, Lailah? You’re pregnant. This might be a joyous occasion for Bill and Harriet down the hall. But for you?”

“I know!” she screamed, throwing her hands up in the air, as tears melted down her cheeks. “Okay! I get it. But would you just stop for one second and realize that I might be happy about this?”

My hands shook, itching to dial the number I’d pulled up on my phone, but I stopped myself.

I pulled her into my arms as sobs took over, raking through her small frame, while she shook.

“I’m sorry, angel. I’m so sorry.”

Hardwired to protect, my first gut reaction was to do just that—protect her by whatever means necessary. But a husband was so much more than that, and a month in, I was still learning.

The emotional grief she’d have from this loss would last far longer than pregnancy.

As her sobs softened, I carried her to the bedroom and gently laid her down. I ran my hands through her hair until her breathing evened out. After I snuck out, I dialed the number that was still up on my cell and made an appointment for the next morning with Dr. Hough.

She needed to hear all sides, learn the risks and deathly consequences she would be dealing with. Once she did, she’d understand and see what we were facing. As much as I’d love to see Lailah as a mother one day, it couldn’t be like this, not in a way that would risk her life.

I wouldn’t allow it.

Tensions were high the next morning as we worked around each other, showering and getting ready for Lailah’s appointment—the one I’d made without consulting her first, the one she’d found out about an hour ago. It had immediately ceased all communication between us.

When I’d slowly grazed my thumb over her cheek and whispered her name, coaxing her from sleep that morning, I’d known my bold move wouldn’t go over well. Last night, I’d carried my crying wife to bed as she lay helpless in my arms, and this morning, in her mind, she felt betrayed by my actions.

Honestly, her hurt feelings were okay by me as long as it would get her into that doctor’s office.

My fear, the undercurrent running rampant in my system, was that this news would grow. I could see the idea already festering inside her head. Like an infection, it would spread wildly through her thoughts, taking over her ability to think logically.

I needed her clear, focused, and on a truly straight path, the path that would lead to us traveling down a happy life together.

That life could only happen if she was willing to give it a chance.

When I allowed myself to venture down the long winding road where she was round with my child in her belly, it looked bleak, dark, and completely unknown.

Cold, eerie silence followed us as we left the apartment and walked down the hall toward the elevator. I sighed in relief when I reached out to touch her hand and felt her fingers curl around mine. As we entered the elevator, I turned toward her, seeing an entire mountain of emotions sitting on her tiny shoulders.

“I’m sorry about the doctor’s appointment,” I finally said.

She nodded, stepping forward to burrow her head in my chest.

“I just feel completely out of control, Lailah. It’s like our world is spinning on its axis, and you’re ready to go along for the ride with no knowledge of what might lie ahead.”

Her head turned upward. “I didn’t say no to the doctor. I just wish you had allowed me to do it on my own. I’ve had too many years of people organizing my life.”